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she contributes

 

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she contributes two

 

Proverb 31: 19 She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.

If any book shows us the partnership in a household, it is the book of proverbs. A quick read of the verse above and you would think the writer is confining one party to the domestic duties in the home and the other to the real work in the marketplace. A much broader read and look, shows a woman who is savvy in all forms of business, who contributes significantly to her household and is deeply involved in all affairs including business and finance.

She is a maker.

She is a hard worker.

She contributes significantly to the overall wellbeing of her brood.

Before I became a Mum, I had so many lofty ideas of what it meant to be a ‘stay at home mum’. Before I had children, I would have clearly told you I would be going back to work after 6 months of being with my baby and had such strong opinions of what marriage partnership looked like.

Enter reality.

After six months of being home with my little boy, I knew I was not meant to go back to work and I needed to reform all those impressions of what marriage and motherhood looked like, reforming essentially the very core of my identity.

I realised that novice motherhood completely turned my worth and value ideals upside down and I had to reform my sense of self, outside of my career. These last few years have been the most revealing and the hardest days of my life.

Am I glad I faced these dark crevices of my soul though?

Absolutely.

I have come out of this novice season, realising that yes my worth is founded in so much more than what I do, but at the same time, I am deeply satisfied when I bring wisdom and contribution to places and people outside of my home.

I love to contribute.

I love to feel like I am part of a bigger story.

Every time I write, knit, sew, paint, teach, mentor, create, I feel deeply satisfied, because the journey of making something from not much is deeply ingrained in the way that we as women communicate.

We process as we make.

We focus as we create.

We connect our thoughts to our kinaesthetic touch when we create.

We contribute significantly.

Although I often look at this website hoping it could be so much more, I think about my photos, I grieve my grammar, I long for hours of quiet writing and moments of deep contemplation without a child scaling my thighs, I know a day will come when I will look back at these days and know they were transformative because I have surrendered to their anonymity.

Whether you are a working mum, who is doing her very best to provide for the needs of her household or a mum who is mostly at home, finding ways to contribute significantly beyond, it deeply changes our perspective and outlook.

You were born to contribute.

Your were designed to work hard and bring your best to inspire others.

Every time we see our purpose connected with another, we live a life that is deeply satisfying.

Are you feeling unsatisfied?

Maybe reviewing and refining the way you are contributing to others and your household, will realign your sense of perspective and help you see ways that you can live more engaged in your season.

Speak tomorrow,

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Day Six click here: She smiles at the future

 

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five life hacks I have learnt as a mumma of two.

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We had a major emergency this morning.

The fire trucks were out, the police car sirens rang and my son sat with all his toy emergency vehicles with a cheeky grin.

We started the morning so perfectly, My Maximus leaned over as he was eating breakfast and said ‘Mister Maker…’ (I have become accustomed to answering to any title these days) ‘Mister Maker?’ I said slowly ‘Yes Max’. He replied ‘No, my name is Mini Maker.’

I shrugged my shoulders and played along. He smiled wryly and said ‘Mister Maker, can we make play dough please?’.

I felt like all my childhood mothering dreams had come true, it was our first play dough date together and I wanted it to be grand. Don’t worry we pulled that part off!

We gathered the ingredients and we thermo-played together. After we had made a big batch of blue and red, I left him happily making ice-cream and fire trucks and smooshing everything together again.

I went off to get ready as a friend was arriving soon for tea, when he ran in with a look of terror on his face. ‘Emergency, emergency, Mister Maker there has been an accident.’ I ran back into our kitchen to find red food colouring splashed over furniture, our floor, clothing and anything in near range.

Our morning had turned upside down with one sneaky visit to the pantry and the rest of my day has been scrubbing to try and lift food colouring from our of my mostly white and wood beach shack.

Despite mornings like today, I have realised I am learning a few life hacks to help keep our family bubbling and overwhelmedness at bay.

I have had a few people this last week ask me how I do what I do?

Maybe my instagram or blog has fooled you…I promise it’s not that pretty on this side of the fence.

In the midst of this though, I realised I have developed a few life hacks for anyone out there who wants to get more done and live purposed.

Here are 5 life hacks we have found that have helped us get more done and free ourselves up to live beyond our today.

1) The Between App My husband and I love this app, that is only for us two. It has a calendar, it has event reminders, it has messenger and it has moments we want to share. I was not that keen on having another something, face book, instagram, emails etc can be so overwhelming. This app though keeps everything we need to chat about and what is important between just us. It’s great and It’s free. Finding a system of communication whether you have children or not, whether it is for your flatmates or partner in a business is imperative to creating a platform for communication that works. A regular catch up, a process to communicate, really helps in keeping my days measured.

2) Email is my task list  Many people would disagree with me on this one, but it has been the way I have worked when running events of 20,000 or the daily life of my family. Having a task list that is current is imperative to keep up with what is important. I email myself tasks and I am vigilant in deleting everything that is not important, the first time the email hits my face. As I sit down to work, I delete emails first and unsubscribe from everything that is not important. Then I work through what is urgent and what is not. When people face book message me, or leave voice mails or ask me to do something for them, I always reply with ‘Can you please email me.’ Therefore, organisations that spam or over email me, really frustrate me and are immediately deleted.

3) House work everyday No matter what day it is, even when it’s a rest day, I do house work everyday. I do one load of washing a day, I get up have a coffee and then make all the beds and sweep the floor, put on the washing every morning. Eat my breakfast and then hang out the washing. Just as dusk is falling, I take the washing off the line and fold. Everyday. I never let it pile up and it helps create House work routine. I also cull regularly, most months you will find me taking at least one bag of clothes/ shoes/ bits and bobs to the op shop. I loosely have the rule, every time something is added to our house, something is given away. The less clutter, the quicker the cleaning and the less time it takes. I am ruthless with clothes and my kids toys. The less in my house, the more I am able to do in my business and opportunities that come my way.

4) I cook bulk At the moment I have four kilos of chicken roasting. When I cook, I do in bulk, so that we have left overs, we have meals in the freezer and we have plenty. I also cook chicken or meat that can be used over a few days in different kinds of meals. I do the same when anything is on special. If I see something really cheap when doing my shop (online is the easiest way to do this), I buy bulk. Whether its washing up liquid or toilet paper, washing powder, deodorant. I often have bulk of all of these products stored away. When I shop, I shop big. So everything is packed into my house in one go and I’m not at the shops everyday.

5) I am careful what I say yes and no too Lately I have been much more aware of how much time is wasted. It doesn’t mean I say no to everything, I am just really intentional when I do say yes. I say yes to mentoring and building my business, I say yes to times of purpose, but I don’t say yes to everything. I have days where we do nothing but hang around the house and potter and other days where we are on business. I am careful not to commit myself to more than one big thing a day. I don’t line up meetings and people back to back, I am careful. This is a balance of allocating time to write, allocating time to hustle and allocating time to rest. I don’t need to find time to do things, I am completely in charge of what I say yes and no too. Often in this area I hear people talking like they are a slave to their diaries. You are not. If there is too many family activities, cut one. If there is too much happening in your week change it. I say yes to fun. I say yes to hanging out with people I want to. I make it happen.

These are just a few short ideas on how I stay fully focused at home but also live a life of contribution outside as well.

Have a happy Thursday friends,

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more me less mum.

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‘She knelt on the floor in the shower all but fifteen years young, begging God to allow her to be a Mum, to have a family, someone to hold and call her own. The tears dripped down her face, flushed with the rush of the shower, hoping no-one would hear her sobs. She grasped her hands together and started to say the rosary the only prayer she knew, the only words she could utter. Years later she found herself in the same position of promise. A cry, an act of desperation, praying words just like a conversation. On the floor of the shack she had just bought in the place she grew up. A few steps from the beach, yet it felt miles away from anywhere she knew. Twenty years had passed, long, beautiful, expectant years that she had waited for the promise to come to pass. The echoes of her cries must have shaken the heavens somewhat, because not soon after she became friends with someone, who would become her partner, the father to her children, an awakening of a dream realised.’

These two stories in my life couldn’t feel more fresh today than the twenty five years that have passed since their inception. As a teenager, I prayed and waited. As a young adult I worked and waited, As an adult I tried to not grown cynical and I waited.

Today I find myself in the season that I begged for years to come to pass, yet I am learning more lessons here in my dream realised than anything I could have imagined. I have been reminding myself of this simple principle. Sowing and reaping. Often we associate this principle with financial gain, but I have found it so present in so much more of my life. Words encouragement I sow today, are reaped in my future. Prayers I have sown, reap benefits and promise in my tomorrow. Unforgiveness that I sow in my today, ends in bitterness in my tomorrow. Believing the best in someone today, reaps friendship in my tomorrow.

The list goes on and on.

I have been silenced lately to think about what I am sowing today.

Am I sowing rest, recovery, beauty, letting go, living large in my today, so I can reap the benefit of promise in my tomorrow.

One line I have found floating to the surface is this…

‘More me, less Mum’.

Personally for me, this is about self-care. It is about doing things in my today to benefit my tomorrow. It is reading great articles and books, not necessarily just about motherhood, but about me as a person, about me as a wife, about me as a creative soul.

It is about saying yes to time by myself and accepting the change when it comes rather than feeling guilty.

It means leaving the dishes undone so that I can rest, create or just be, when my children sleep.

It means not losing myself completely in motherhood. This is not a selfish act, I am a better Mum, when I discover who I am outside of the role of motherhood. I am still a writer, I am firstly a wife, I am a communicator. The role of Motherhood is an all encompassing one, but it is okay to walk out of the house somedays without food plastered over my clothes and it is okay to take time to do something for myself, rather than everyone else all the time.

This week I picked up my knitting needles again for the first time in a long time and decided to make myself a cardigan. It has my brain captured. I am learning, I am doing something for myself. Some may call me selfish but I know it’s smart.

When I take time out to discover who I am as a child of God, outside of all the roles, the names, the positions, the obligations that other people place on me. I become a whole person. A centred person. Someone who allows the words of my Father to sow life into my tomorrow rather than the validation of others.

So for now.

This is what I am sowing.

Life

Love

Colour

Intention

Opportunity

Quiet

Forgiveness

Rest

Recovery

To myself.

And out of that place is where I will give to others.

Filling my tank with worthy and good things today, so that my family may reap tomorrow.

How about you?

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Small sacrifices

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Tuesday mornings are full of music, dance, laughter and long walks on the beach.

Today I decided I won’t say yes to anyone else except my family on tuesdays.

Today, I am so grateful I didn’t go back to work, even though sometimes this decision drains me. When hands grab at my hair, clothes, buttons, shoes and ears.

Moments that I will never forget, the days when I say goodbye to nappies, teething and tantrums.

Lately I have been overwhelmed at the blessings that come when I make small sacrifices.

Silent revelations.

Mummy moments.

Decisions to say no to that which distracts and yes to what is important.

Thinking about them being little and celebrating these small moments.

Letting go of all the obligations and really trying to be thankful.

Small sacrifices.

Being quiet, when all I want to do is speak my mind.

Saying Thankyou, when I really don’t have the time.

Laying down my phone, when all I want to do is scroll.

Asking questions about others, rather than being consumed with myself.

Small sacrifices.

They truly make a day, that has the capacity to just flow into another, beautiful.

Small

Tiny

Inconsequential

Sacrifices

Conversations

Cuddles

Gratitudes

These are what make up a life.

These are the memories that mark my children’s perceptions of their Mum.

Thankyou, whoever is reading this today, for the small sacrifices you have made to prefer another.

This is the glue that holds our community together.

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And just like that… six months has gone by.

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Just a couple of days ago, I took this picture whilst walking early morning near my island home.

The bay was quiet, with a lone fisherman pulling in his sea loot and he waved a simple hello.

As I walked I was thinking about the same piece of beach, that if I walked it everyday it was just a little different. Somedays it was windy, other days flat, some mornings full of seaweed and others as clean as can be.

The same piece of beach a different canvas of changing shapes and colours daily.

It was this thought that made me think about my little family. It is exactly the same. Little changes, little moments, somedays moody, the others as calm as the bay as the sun rises.

This week my little Liberty turned 6 months old and I was reminded of my simple thought as I took her away from the hospital. Brain pictures. Little moments to celebrate the ordinary and to love the journey of progression even on the days that it just felt like ground hog day.

And here we are.

6 months later.

She now feeds less, sleeps a little more, eats a lot more and uses her voice with its extremes. Her personality shines through more and more each day and I no longer have a newborn.

Days I would have wished away, if I hadn’t taken time to notice the little things.

The look she gives me when she discovers my eyes across a room. The sounds she makes as she tires from learning all her new skills. The faint birth mark on her hip and stomach, that can only be seen when they are looked for carefully.

Moments of stretch.
Moments of bliss.
Moments I will never have again.

Are you in a season that you are struggling to find something that you are grateful for?

Keep looking for the moments. Because just as Summer is about to turn to Autumn in my little seaside shack, so your season will change and what you once despised may be the very thing you will be aching for once again.

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Moments of quiet.
Moments of solitude.
Moments of beauty.

Deep breath here today as we keep moving into new days.

Six months.

Where did they go?

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