Posted on Leave a comment

She extends herself

WORKSHOP PARTY 055

Today has been one of the busiest days for me, speaking at an event, preparing for birthdays, fixing, helping, driving, cooking. The last thing I felt like doing was writing. This 31 day journey is a commitment I made and sometimes to follow through on the promises we make, is extremely important even when we are “fried!”

Often it’s in these very moments of extension, that our hearts and capacities are stretched. We are not designed to live in this red zone, but we are designed to reach, learn and give a little more than we think we can. It’s like our souls have an elasticity, that is strengthened in the stretch. We do need to allow ourselves to reform again, but without the stretch, we stay unfulfilled in our purpose. I believe these are the very days that define us.

Those days when we think we cannot run another five minutes but we do.

Those days when we speak in front of a crowd that once completely intimidated us.

Those days when we start writing that book that has laid dormant inside of us.

Our days of stretch.

Proverbs 31: 20 says this;

“She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy”

I absolutely love this verse. I love that it is an effort for her to make a difference and she extends her heart and hand in the process.

There are some of my other favourite scriptures that are not from proverbs but they inspire me none the less

Psalm 18:19

“He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”

And also this one;

Isaiah 54:2

“Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.”

There is something about these two encouragements from days of old, that encourage me to not give up in the days when things are difficult.

Just a few days ago I read this poem and it literally stopped me in met tracks;

“Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Francis Drake

Disturb us O Lord. How profound is this perspective?

One of the greatest thing that inhibits us living a life of purpose, is we seek comfort. We want to feel comfortable, we look for nurture, we seek to hide.

Even though in the right time and the right way all of these things can be an important part of self care and soul health, we will never live a life of purpose if we allow these things to define us.

There is something very valid in having intentional moments of stretch. When we do something we have never done before, when we give to something that is a stretch financially and personally. When we talk to someone and it takes effort. When we sacrifice and say no.

Growth and change are not comfortable.

Living a life of wisdom where we learn in that space of extension is the most defining of spaces.

When was the last time you felt uncomfortable?

When was the last time you did something that made you nervous?

When was the last time you felt growth pains?

This my friend is what it looks like to live a life of wisdom.

Tomorrows post is here: She is ever learning

signature

 

Posted on Leave a comment

She is centred

She is well 2

A few years ago, some of my closest friends and I began a little not for profit called Kinwomen. It is all about starting conversations that matter with women. We each are on the radio every day and it is syndicated across Australia and is playing also in New Zealand. We have ten writers, who write regularly on our blog and today it was my turn.

So I continued my proverbs series over there.

Here is today’s post:

She is Centred

Thanks so much for continuing on the journey with me, today marks Day 20, that we have been studying the proverbs and I have been enjoying the series so much and hearing all of your thoughts, comments and feedback.

Till tomorrow,

signature

 

 

Posted on 2 Comments

she is slow to anger

she is slow to anger

Anger is such a strange emotion. You would probably think that anger is more of a male associated weakness, but don’t worry it can take hold of the best of us and leave those around us shaking in its wake.

I find in my own life, anger disguises itself as defensiveness. When I am found on the defensive, it doesn’t matter who is in my way, I will argue my point until I feel like I have had my way. I suppose its on those days you could call me a bully.

I talk over people, I stop listening, my voice tone changes and I get louder, much louder.

Proverbs has a lot to say about anger and it’s little companions, defensiveness, bullying and harshness. Like this one;

Proverb 15: 1

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

I am learning as a novice Mum, that a gentle answer achieves so much more than an emotion packed one. When I ask my son to stop, decreasing my voice rather than raising it, I am more likely to get a response. It’s like the louder we talk, the less capacity people have to listen.

Proverb 24: 10 says this

If you fail under pressure your strength is too small

That honestly makes me stop in my tracks. If I am failing when the pressure is on, then it shows my internal strength is too small. I have found the only way my internal world strengthens and grows, is through processing, talking, praying, thinking, writing and generally cleaning out what is happening in my heart. The funny thing is if we bury shame, it often manifests someday as anger. If we bury guilt or grief, the same thing happens, suddenly just like a volcano, one day anger erupts.

Proverb 20: 22

Don’t say “I will get even for this wrong, Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.”

My immediate response to this scripture is but…

Why, What, How?

Proverbs 21: 2 says

People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart.

The funny thing about us humans is we justify our own responses in accordance to the injustice that has occurred to us. If we do not process the emotions, circumstances and happenings and find a way to let them go, to forgive and to truly clean house, we will always struggle in the emotional arena’s of our lives.

A woman of wisdom is slow to anger.

She takes a deep breath.

She doesn’t respond immediately.

She listens.

She evaluates.

Then show goes away and finds a way to process what has happened.

If I find my heart starting to beat fast and defensiveness rise, I am learning to turn away and come back to the discussion at another time.

Whether its with my children, my husband or a colleague.

This is not an area I have under control, I promise, as balanced as I may sound in this forum, their is a feisty, roaring lion inside of me that often needs to be tamed.

How about you?

Where are you in the anger stakes?

A woman of wisdom takes the time to assess this area of her life and softens her responses especially to those closest to her.

The next part of this series can be found over on Kinwomen’s blog it is called She is centred.

signature

 

Posted on 2 Comments

she keeps things simple

she keeps things simple

Have you ever been in a situation with a friend and a little thought has gone through your mind, man she is making this way more complicated than it needs to be?

As women, we have the capacity to make very simple things extremely complex.

Relationally,

In our careers,

Our own sense of self worth and confidence.

I am realising the times that I become complex, are those times when I overthink things. My expectations are often the quickest ways I make my days full of disappointment and fear. Worry takes place of peace in my internal world and life just becomes heavy.

We live in a tiny two bedroom apartment, which means our nearly one year old and our three and a half year old share a little room. There are somedays, that I get very overwhelmed by our lack of storage but other day it propels me into a culling frenzy, that I never regret.

Every time I give something away, there is something so satisfying because my world becomes a little simpler. When I overthink it, when I become too nostalgic and I give stuff more power than people. It is then that my world starts to feel complex and overwhelming.

It is quite a practical side of wisdom, but I know the more I have, the more overwhelmed I feel. The less I have in my environment, the more peaceful I feel. Just the other day I was thinking, what if I just had two towels per person in my household?

What if each person only had three pairs of pants, three t-shirts, three jumpers?

What if we weren’t allowed to have more than three of everything?

Every time we simplify our surroundings, I have less washing, I have less to clean, I have less to pack away…

Life becomes simpler.

The external of our worlds mirrors the internal and a woman of wisdom knows this.

Proverb 4: 23

Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.

A woman of wisdom takes stock of her thoughts and culls, cleans and measures their content.

Is life feeling complex lately?

Maybe a little spring clean and re-arranging of our worrying, thinking and pondering needs to occur.

This my friend is the call of wisdom.

Tomorrows post link can be found here: She is slow to anger

signature

Posted on Leave a comment

she is disruptive

disruptive

The word disruptive does not easily gel with wisdom, but the more I read proverbs and the stories of men and women of influence the more I am convinced that it takes a special kind of human to do something in the world that has never been done before.

We cannot fit into our culture without thinking and somehow believe that we are making a difference. A woman of wisdom, is a leader, she is a thinker, she is an agent of change and she is not defined by what other people say about her. The whole chapter of chapter 31 from the book of proverbs talks about a woman who completely disregards cultural norms and plays by her own rules.

This winter I have been working slowly through Lisa Messenger’s Daring and Disruptive playbook (it’s more like a workbook, than a traditional book) that compliments her book Daring and Disruptive. The more I think about her precepts on life and leadership, the more I am becoming convinced that somehow whether it be life, leadership, disappointments, loss, change of season or age, that I have become more cautious in the way that I have reached out and innovated my days.

I have always been a disruptor.

Whether it was in school, my dance class, in mass, at university and also bible college. There is something within me that is not content with comfortable. There is a little clock that ticks inside of me asking that I try something new.

I think sometimes we believe keeping the peace and being nice or pleasing those closest to us, is the wisest path of least resistance.

I am realising that this may make for a safe life, but it is not a satisfying one. If you are always suppressing the voice that has been given uniquely for you, in some way and some how, that voice will erupt.

I am not talking about outright rebellion, but a spirit that asks questions of why we are doing, what we have always done and then getting disappointed with the results. A leader that starts something because they are deeply moved with compassion. A woman who see’s a need and rather than turning her head and saying someone else will get too it, they pitch in and do something about it.

She sings on the bus, when everyone is facing the front desperately trying not to make eye contact.

She says hello to the homeless person, for no other reason than to value you their humanity and existence.

She dances on the train whilst everyone delves deeply into their iPhones.

A woman who swims against the tide and current she is in, because she has the inner strength and tenacity to simply have a go.

Someone who writes down goals and actually ticks off the boxes on her vision board.

She is disruptive.

In a circle of women gossiping, she turns and walks away, knowing she has much better use of her time.

Proverbs 16:15 and 16 says this

Good-tempered leaders invigorate lives; they’re like spring rain and sunshine.

Get wisdom – it’s worth more than money; choose insight over income every time.

 

She invigorates.

She leads.

She refreshes.

She makes an impact.

She speaks out the crazy dreams and ideas, then actually does something with them.

She is remembered for her courage more than whether she was successful or not.

She actually has a go.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain

She dares greatly and disrupts the boring, plodding, bland, beige and antiquated.

She has a go.

Oh my desire is that I would bring change and innovation. That my life would be marked by courage and not fear. That I would stop worrying about what others say and step out, send that email, ring that publisher, write that speech and make a difference.

Thanks Lisa Messenger, for inspiring this heart and life this winter.

To read the next part of this series click here: She keeps things simple

signature