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Dealing with your disapointments

Pineapples, the grounds.
Sydney, NSW

Every transition carries with it disappointment.

We are funny human cargos, carrying around with us, the weights and measures of our days. Moments filled with expectations that remain palpable in our today.

Expectations unmet.

People’s word unfulfilled.

Our perspective clashing with someone else’s.

Change is seriously hard work.

Have you ever come out of a season, carrying expectations of what you thought should have been done and the reality of what actually happened?

The funny thing about change is, everyone battles with the readjustment and everyone gets it a little screwed sometimes. Disappointment is a daily part of living an aligned and purposed life. People say things that they don’t follow through on, expectations remain unmet, we live thin lives that mean we often are disappointing someone.

The best thing we can do with disappointment is face it, be honest with it and move quickly on.

Recently I read a ebook from a new online friend Tracy Lilley called ‘The pineapple project‘. A paragraph she wrote really impacted me;

The true heartbreak is our complicity. Allow the fact that we could be an active participant in this delusional state to be unsettling. Because when we consistently fail to action what we know must be a priority, it is as if we have broken a promise to ourselves. If we continue to neglect what is really important to us, we start to lose faith in our ability to live aligned with our values and eternal purpose.

We are complicit in perpetuating the cycle of difficulty in our in-between seasons, by holding onto emotions that hold us captive to our past, rather than propelling us brilliantly into our future.

Do you want to live a life aligned with your values and eternal purpose?

The best thing you can do is sort through the emotions, the offences, the difficulties, anything that is holding you weighted in a place of complexity. This is the best thing we can do in the in-between.

Finding resources like Tracy’s amazing work, to realign what you are living for and why, is a brilliant use of our time in these seasons of transition.

Are you worn out?

Are you disappointed?

I know what that feels like and I see you, however I believe that you can step forward into a new and beautiful rhythm that carries you into wider fields.

Disappointment holds us captive.

Set it free my friend.

Write it down.

Talk to someone who will listen.

Dream about the future.

Reframe what’s happened trying to see it from someone else’s perspective.

Lower your expectations of people.

May peace reign in our hearts during these seasons of movement.

May we truly trust in the One who sees every humble moment of letting go and trusting His divine ways.

May we be a people of forgiveness, who hold hearts and lives with precious abandonment to a Creator who knows, sees and cares.

He carries us.

He loves us.

He designs a way to bring all things together for good.

Even those heavy days, when we are hurting.

He sees.

I am absolutely sure of it.




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the space between where you are and where you want to be

Sydney, creativity, goals
Sydney, creativity, goals
Sydney, Flowers.

Do you feel like you were made for something more?

Have you let go of an old season but are unable to find the words to explain your new one?

Do you have an idea, that will take a whole heap of courage to actually see it realise?

Are you stuck, but the only thing holding you from moving forward is fear of the unknown?

The thing you are most afraid of is called the Liminal Space.

The Liminal Space, is an artistic word to describe the space when you are on the threshold of something new and wonderful, but you are just not there yet.

Another way to put it, in my words “The in-between”.

We spend more days, in seasons of transition, than we actually do in seasons of success, so how come we feel so ashamed of describing our days this way?

If we told a friend, I am just about to do something cool, I just don’t know what it is yet, they would probably look at you a little funny and say “Okay, then.”

I love this idea of threshold.

the magnitude or intensity that must be exceeded for a certain reaction, phenomenon, result, or condition to occur or be manifested.

My definition is this…’we are destined for purpose, but are waiting in a position of hope for its discovery.’

The funny thing I am discovering about the Liminal Space (the moments right at the threshold of new) is we can so easily lose the potency of these precious moments, by filling our time with just anything, rather than the right things.

When my son Maximus had just turned one, I had a series of brilliant job offers. It was honestly the hardest decision in this season to say no, to these opportunities. I knew without a doubt that I needed to succumb to the in-between. I was on a journey of discovery and filling my time with anything, just so I could escape the Liminal Space, would have stopped the growth and potential in my in-between.

When we let go of an old season with finality and grace, it propels us into a new space of maturity.

When we hold onto anger, disappointment, lack of forgiveness and strife, it holds us captive in a holding pattern in the liminal and we will do anything to grab onto something that will drag us out of that funk.

I believe the space between the known and the unknown, teaches us more than any opportunity does.

One of my favourite writers Richard Rohr says this of the Liminal Space;

a unique spiritual position where human beings hate to be but where the biblical God is always leading them. It is when you have left the tried and true, but have not yet been able to replace it with anything else. It is when you are finally out of the way. It is when you are between your old comfort zone and any possible new answer. If you are not trained in how to hold anxiety, how to live with ambiguity, how to entrust and wait, you will run…anything to flee this terrible cloud of unknowing.

Are you willing to say no to some things, so you can say yes to great things, in the space of unknowing?

Are you happy to walk slowly in an open space of transition, rather than filling your days with something, just so you feel safe?

This is the walk of the in-between.

To keep hoping,

To keep discovering,

To keep dreaming,

but not to fill your days with something or someone, just so you can escape the terrible feeling of not knowing.

I have found, we need to take small steps, breathe deep breaths, read great words, think brilliant thoughts and reconnect with our true purpose in these seasons of change.

Beauty is awaiting discovery in the in-between.

Take a step.

Move with grace.

Don’t just fill your days with anything though, dig deep and move forward with purpose.

Let peace lead you home.

It has always been my best navigating friend.


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when you’re tired of waiting.

The grounds of alexandria
The Grounds of Alexandria.

Last night I went to sleep with dreams of changing the world, this morning I woke with a vulnerability hangover the size of Uluru.

As much as I love to write, there are moments when the transparency catches up with me and I just wish somedays that my keyboard had run out of batteries.

I started this morning with a radio interview, realised I rushed off to Ballet without eating breakfast and the wheels started to fall off, as I was just so tired.

Living present in days of hiddenness can be so tiring.

As we wait, talk to ourselves, help others, convince hope to arise, the shadows of the familiar become ever confronting.

I have so many dreams in my heart of ways that I want to encourage stories in others, but the reality is, as I spoke with the breakfast radio host this morning about beautiful and wonderful things, I also saw that after changing a crazy explosion of my daughters nappy I had a toe dipped in goodness, fresh from her deposit.

That’s such a great metaphor for the dreams we are all pursuing.

Whenever we think we have arrived at a new, inspiring, destination; there is always a touch of reality to keep us grounded in the here and now.

I don’t despise my today and I know that I will look back at these days of novice motherhood, with nostalgia and fond smiles, but it can become so overwhelming, how we actually start to try and live the life that we have dreamed of.

Manuscripts, with mistakes.

Networking, without agenda.

Bank statements, that just don’t understand how hard you have worked.

Health challenges, that are unforgiving.

The in-between is a tiring place, waiting with grace and expectation, but so desperate to step forward with courage and determination. This afternoon I was adrenaline fatigued and exhausted so I took myself off for a long nap. I woke up with more insight and patience for my in-between.

I found this poem today and it really inspired me.

“You chose.
You chose.
You chose.

You chose to give away your love.
You chose to have a broken heart.
You chose to give up.
You chose to hang on.

You chose to react.
You chose to feel insecure.
You chose to feel anger.
You chose to fight back.
You chose to have hope.

You chose to be naïve.
You chose to ignore your intuition.
You chose to ignore advice.
You chose to look the other way.
You chose to not listen.
You chose to be stuck in the past.

You chose your perspective.
You chose to blame.
You chose to be right.
You chose your pride.
You chose your games.
You chose your ego.
You chose your paranoia.
You chose to compete.
You chose your enemies.
You chose your consequences.

You chose.
You chose.
You chose.
You chose.

However, you are not alone. Generations of women in your family have chosen. Women around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time in our lives. We stand behind you now screaming:

Choose to let go.
Choose dignity.
Choose to forgive yourself.
Choose to forgive others.
Choose to see your value.
Choose to show the world you’re not a victim.
Choose to make us proud.”
Shannon L. Alder

Even when you are tired in the waiting place, chose little steps that take you closer to that dream that haunts you.


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finding who we are in the in-between

Sydney, Australia

Waiting, wishing, thinking, hoping.

There is something so uncomfortable about the in-between.

A pause, an awkwardness or just an expectancy that taunts us.

No matter how wise and seasoned we are in the wait, the space between realisation and confirmation is a heavy one.

Have you walked a season of waiting well?

What season are you in at the moment?

Is there a pause, that is holding you breathless?

Are you confused?

Are you stuck?

Are you frustrated?

I understand the difficulty of this place of unknowing. The teeth that grit, the heart that holds its breath, the mind rolls the same scenario, over and over.

On the weekend, I spoke at a conference, full of creative brilliance and each hour that passed my nerves pulsed. I was asked back in February to speak at this event and pretty much within the week I knew that I wanted to speak on “the in-between”. I live quite an isolated creative walk however, so coming into the weekend, I was questioning whether I was truly on the right page of what was needed. I took the opportunity seriously and wanted so much to bring my best.

Then Saturday afternoon arrived with a last minute change to the program and a young man jumped on the stage to play a song soon to be released on his EP. He started to play the piano and introduced his song saying “my song is called the in-between“. In all the waiting, in all the hoping, I suddenly knew in a second that I was right where I was meant to be. With a massive smile on my face, only the pianist and I knew that this was a complete fluke and we had been truly set up by the Divine Interrupter.

He knows more than we know.

He cares more than we could ever feel.

He loves, so deeply that his detail can be seen in the most bizarre of moments.

As you step into places this month with me, asking questions of yourself about the waiting space, I pray that you would be amazed by details and stories, showing you are walking in step, seeking answers from the One who sees.

I am determined to keep sharing vulnerably, with authenticity this month as I explore the topic of waiting. I love what Brene Brown says about living our lives this way;

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”

As we share our stories and struggles this month, I am believing that shame will disappear and truth, encouragement and hope will be found in its midst.

If you are in an in-between space, you are very welcome here. I cannot wait to hear more of your story.

Thanks for starting this new journey with me as we all read together stories of waiting, hope, disappointment, confusion, expectancy and loss.

August may just be my favourite month of all.