Category: yestember

19. Book a holiday.

When was the last time you took a decent holiday? Do you have a big pile of leave sitting in your HR office? Do you holiday often but always at the same place, with the same people?

My challenge is for you to plan a holiday to a far-off destination or, if you travel often and widely, to plan a stay-cation in your own city.

Read travel blogs, look at hotel reviews, find tours to go on, look into the history of the nations.

Get interested in something that is outside your everyday.

Recently we had a stay-cation in our own city and it was amazing. It is all about planning to do something that you don’t normally do and get yourself out of your comfort zone.

Plan an adventure. If you feel lonely and travelling by yourself is too much, book a cruise or a tour, so you can meet new people.

You know you want to.

Write to me and let me know where you are going, I am sure I will be a little jealous.

18. Write a list of what makes you feel most connected.

What truly makes you feel the happiest?

When you are in a big group of people laughing?

When you are having coffee with one great friend who you feel deeply connected with?

When you are helping or serving others?

Shopping?

Drawing?

Write a list of the things that truly fuel you and make you come alive relationally.

Now on the same piece of paper, write a list of the things that make you feel the most alone… a list of things that really drain you.

Your challenge is to do something from the list that makes you feel most connected this week.

Little changes that will make a big difference.

17. Burn the list.

What are the traits or characteristics you have looked for in a partner?

I think there was a teaching that went around a few years ago that told us to write a list and pray, hope, beg that person into being. I have realised in my own experience that this is really unhelpful.

I am challenging you to burn the list.

Not literally (although maybe you have it written down somewhere), but find a way to explore the possibility of a person being perfect for you who may never tick all the bullet points on your list.

Then write one word.

Just one word that is not negotiable.

Mine was kind.

What is yours?

16. Buy a packet of crayons and colour in.

I have found that some of the most lucid moments in my life are those when I am doing something from my childhood.

Colouring in, fishing on the beach, building a cubby, playing with play dough, sitting in the sand at the beach and building sand castles.

There is something so grounding when we remind ourselves of the simplicity of childhood emotions. When we are excited in summer to taste that first lick of an ice-cream, the first breath taken as we swing on a playground, moments of exhilaration when we jump puddles.

Today I am encouraging you to do something you haven’t done in a long time and see what thoughts arise.

Maybe you just need to break a crayon and colour in any way.

15. Start a journal for your future husband.

One of the greatest ways that I processed the despair of my waiting was continually finding ways to keep my heart hopeful.

It sounds a little random, but during the times I felt most despondent, the days that I thought I would never get married, the days I thought I would never have children or a family, I wrote.

I wrote in a book.

Some journal pages have been since ripped out, because honestly no-one needed to read them, but most of them I found myself writing to my future husband and reminding myself of all the things I believed that one day would come true.

On our wedding day, I woke up to a tree. A beautiful sterling silver tree, covered in little cards and notes from my husband to me on our wedding day. Precious little encouragements to remind me how much he adored me and I gave him a leather parcel containing a gathering of letters and journal entries, musings on days when I believed he was far from reality, prayers about him wherever he was, moments waiting to meet him and continue on our lives together.

Some people might think this is a little desperate and I’m sure some of you are thinking, “what if I never get married?”

I believe that if it is a desire of your heart, I believe if it is a dream, I believe if it is a deep longing, that it will indeed be fulfilled.

I will believe that for you, even on the days that you cannot believe it for yourself.

I believe that God delights in giving us the desires of our hearts.

Writing and speaking out those longings is a great part of building your faith and belief too.