Tag: inspiration

Posted on by — 2 Comments

When you think you cannot dream again

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Brene Brown’s latest book Rising Strong has me reeling.

I knew it would overtake me when I committed to reading and blogging about it in the month of October for our new online book club, but honestly I had no idea that it would convict me like it has and I am only two chapters down.

How often do we let our dreams die and live frustrated because we have failed?

One of the most dangerous of kind is one who has realised that despite their failure, that they can begin to dream again.

Dream of possibilities,

Dream of what was seeded in hearts long ago,

Dream again of those deep utterances that they have not shared with a soul.

Dreamers.

Doers.

Believers.

The waiters.

The in-betweeners.

The frustrated.

The forgotten.

The disillusioned.

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible. ” T. E. Lawrence

Have you forgotten how to dream?

I want to be a dreamer of the day.

Not the kind of dreaming, that finds us startled in the midst of our slumber but the sweaty, dusty, in the middle of the day dreaming of possibilities that have not yet been realised.

Have you stopped dreaming?

Has pain taken the wind way out of your sails and you are not sure you can have another go?

I totally get what that feels like.

Read this from Brene that I read today and I nearly fell off the couch…

“The opposite of recognising that we’re feeling something is denying our emotions. The opposite of being curious is disengaging. When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending—to rise strong, recognise our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends.” Brené Brown, Rising Strong

I know in the midst of failure, broken relationship, dreams that have been derailed, it feels impossible to dream again, but I promise you that you can choose how this story ends.

Rise strong my dear friend,

Dream Again.

Come on the journey with us in October and buy the book or download it online, I cannot wait to see what has been stopping me from really stepping into arena’s that just keep on holding me down in my everyday.

signature

 

Posted on by — 4 Comments

Finding trust in the most unlikely of places

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Trust is something that continues to plague me week after week, month after month.

How do I possibly regain trust after it has been broken?

Reinhold Niebuhr’ s poetic prayer about serenity, continues to be the hallmark utterance of most AA meetings around the world daily.

Every time these brave souls gather, they speak out this prayer, releasing themselves and those in their circle from the shame that encases their addictions.

One of the hardest walks of an addict or an addicts family though is the tightrope of trust. It is okay to say that we have let the past go and find peace in the therapy of stepping into the new but what about trusting those who have broken our trust?

Every time that trust is given, it has the capacity to be broken again.

Living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

Lately I have been reflecting on what trust is. It is like a bank of privilege, when we show up, say what we said we would do, notice, help, speak truth, these all build up the privileges in the account of the beholder.

What about the times that we don’t?

What about when we lie?

When we don’t show up?

When we take something we shouldn’t?

When we gossip?

It’s just like we are addicts as well. Maybe not to drugs or alcohol, but maybe were addicted to people’s opinions, to buying more than our bank balance allows. Maybe were addicted to fame, our growing instagram accounts. Maybe were addicted to things, food, coffee.

It is like we take from that bank of privilege and there comes a day when the account is in arrears.

Trust is easily broken and it is difficult to regain.

That is the greatest challenge of being human. The brokenness of our vessels and our need for reformation. Our desire for someone to bring it all together and help us make sense of it all.

Our desire to find our way home, in the midst of the struggle.

Many people misunderstand my beliefs when I tell them that I am Christian, believing the cultural representations of my beliefs rather than the story of time after time, where I cannot deny the presence of Deity in my days.

Yes He may not be physically present, but I have had experience after experience, where the circumstances are far from coincidence.

If we sat together today drinking a glass of wine, I would not speak of rules, shame and religion. I would simply tell you stories of amazing grace and privilege that has marked my days. Stories of hope and restoration, of miracles and beauty. Stories scattered with someone who has every reason to be mistrusted but finds her head lifted again.

Lately I have been watching some amazing stories unfold in my life. Stories that I can only account to the bank of riches that have been stored up, by someone who sees beyond my today.

The same principle applies, I trust him because I have honestly seen His hand of presence in my days and doors open, people intersecting and understanding gained when I see the bigger picture of what is being woven together for good.

Reinhold Niebuhr’ s prayer relies upon trust built on a knowledge that all things will be made right, I am far from ashamed of my beliefs because I have seen it to be true in so many people’s lives.

I know that bad things happen and there is so much in our world we cannot change, but I truly believe there is someone ahead of us, reorienting and helping things come together for good.

It is all about surrender and letting go of control.

This is the hallmark of trust.

This is the higher calling.

There are many days that I question His orienteering skills, but I often smile at the outworking of a bigger plan when I trust and surrender.

Serenity is not a place of oasis, it is a wrestle to find our place in the bigger purpose.

signature

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Finding strength for your today.

kitchen, flowers, everyday
kitchen, flowers, everyday
My window flowers.

In my kitchen, we built a planter box, to try and convince my eyes away from the ugly fence that stares at me, multiple times a day washing dishes in my little beach shack.

In the last two days, flowers have unveiled gloriously in that little piece of windowsill green. My inspiration garden brings the outdoors, indoors as the water and bubbles fill my sink over and over.

I remember the days, when cooking and washing up was the most delightful of tasks, because it meant I was home. A rarity in the life of corporate hustler. I would open a cookbook, breathe deep and cook all day, so excited to be in my casual clothes and leaning into my home day.

Today, I struggle to find the inspiration for dinner, I roll my eyes at another sink full of dishes and I dream of days escaping my home, when I can leave the house without any cares or responsibility.

These thoughts shame me though, because I see photos of young children washed up on shores, I hear stories of people desperately wanting that pink line to appear, I know that the lot I have been served in life is indeed on the blessed side of my ugly fence.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;

Enjoy one moment at a time…

How do I enjoy my moments, when they are filled with so many dreams and desires and the weight of my own expectations overwhelm?

Moments,

Struggles,

Hormones,

Tantrums,

Sickness,

Plans falling over,

Opportunities not taken,

Moments.

Every time I think about more than my moments in my day, my serenity fades and I start to feel stuck in my apartment for the rest of my days.

Every time I think about the little moments, the laugh in his smile, the glint when she see’s, the new awakening of a season, an unexpected sleep in; it is in these precious moments that I regain my strength.

You see the way I used to live, I was always planning, I was always hustling, I was always being drawn into greater days, with even greater expectations. I am learning in my today, to find the white flowers that are opening, noticing what is right within my reach, rather than weighted expectations for tomorrow?

Do I believe we should stop dreaming?

No, but as a great friend said to me the other day “Amanda, what is so wrong with God surprising us in our future, rather than spending our days desperately trying to control the outcomes and the details”

Finding strength for my today, is revelling in the messy moments, picking up my knitting and letting things go that just don’t belong anymore. It is having conversations that matter, but keeping my relational accounts short.

It is kissing my husband passionately when he steps in the door, rather than telling him the list of unmet expectations and the struggles that overwhelm my soul.

It is playing a little as I wash those dishes, being grateful for the moments that are present and the duty that is my privilege.

The true story is that I have prayed desperately for the moments I have been graced with, yet when they arrive I can be so desperate to reach into the new, that I lose sight of the beauty in the realisation of my dreams.

Our strength for today is found in the messy moments, when we release and let go. When we smile and forgive, when we attend to the little details that often are forgotten. When we look heavenward with gratitude, when we take a deep breath and feel the sheer brilliance of the sun on our backs. When we walk a little slower, pick up one more toy smiling at their innovation and we live our lives breathing in moments that we might have just missed.

So for today, even though I’d love to fly away and search out hidden wonders on distant shores, as I dream of building orphanages and publishing books, I will surrender my will to this beautiful season and keep smiling as I watch the white flowers on my kitchen window sill bloom.

I will embrace my little inspiration moments in my today, knowing that suddenly it will be tomorrow and my season will have once again moved onward again.

What moments are you missing in your today, because you are desperate for your tomorrow?

Today.

One moment at a time.

Grateful.

Messy.

But overwhelmingly

Grateful,

signature

Posted on by — 1 Comment

Life is short, love what you do…

Print, love, wins
Print, love, wins
Whiteman Park Print Shop.

One of my closest friends, lost her husband suddenly. It was the most terrible of times. The last letter he ever wrote to her finished with this profound prophetic statement;

Life is short, love what you do

To watch my friend walk bravely out her days without her amazing partner has been the most deeply moving journey. She has grieved, she has stamped her feet, she has waited, she has questioned, but at the same time she has moved into days where she is living out the legacy of his vision for her days.

She shifted from New Zealand to Cambodia alone in her fifties, starting again, to live a life sown. It has been a hard journey, as she was robbed near her new home, watched the people she has been serving loose their life. Sickness, tragedy and heart ache has filled her days. She has not allowed the depths of these stories to shrink her though, she has stepped forward, felt the fear and brought her broken hallelujah.

She is living bravely in her moment, using the depth of her grief to minister and help a generation of young people in another country to live the life of their dreams.

I know her man would be immensely proud of her.

I know he would be watching with a gentle, quiet smile, a raise of his quirky eyebrows that quietly said “Look at my girl go…”

A life of serenity is not necessarily a quiet, retiring one.

Serenity is a place of peace, found in the midst of living a life of purpose.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

One day at a time, having the courage to live the life you have always dreamed of. When we stay stuck in holding patterns of the past, we are unable to live one day at a time, understanding that life is short.

It is short.

We just don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

What if we spent our today stuck in the pain of yesterday and missed out on the absolute sheer brilliance of living a life sown in our today?

What would you do, if you embraced the messy moments of fear, grief, disappointment and shifted forward into your unknown anyway?

My lovely friend Annie inspires me so much.

She hasn’t just moved on, she has dug deep into the very recesses of her soul and determined that she will live a life of purpose today.

Yes, living in her brave, courageous, today.

She is not sure about what the next five years will bring, but she knows in her today, that she needs to bring hope and courage to teenagers in Cambodia. A courage that despite the very hard parts of our story, that Love wins.

Loving People.

Loving Stories.

Loving Humanity.

Loving the hard parts.

Loving the mess of people and transition and change and living beyond ourselves.

What can you bravely do today, to live in this moment?

Take that step,

Make that phone call,

Book that appointment,

Write that piece,

Live surrendered in your today.

signature

 

 

 

After 6 months of being in Cambodia, Annie knows she can’t go home to New Zealand, her work is not done yet, so if you want to help her stay, you can transfer funds to:

With the name Annie Cambodia.

New Zealand Accounts:

 

ANZ: 06 0383

0164749 04

Australian Accounts:

ANZ: 016141

299685840

 

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Stand Still, Wait and See what happens

Sayers, Leederville
Sayers, Leederville

Do you ever feel focused one minute and then second guess everything the next?

As a family we have all these projects on the go and if I sit and write down everything that is happening, I start to feel really overwhelmed. There is a funny wrestle going on.

I know we are stepping into great new days but just as that shift occurs, I am confused at what is important and what is just in my head.

The wrestle of faith, is the tightrope we walk between will and favour. We walk a fine line between making stuff happen and taking brave steps of courage and the wisdom of the wait.

Lately I have ben working really hard and as I sat this afternoon meditating on truth and hope, I felt hope arise in my heart.

This was the scripture that encouraged me today was this one from 1 Samuel

“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!”

There are times of rest and there are times of wrestle, there are times of wait and there are times of courage. I think the balance is knowing what is your season and what your intuition is saying is right for you.

The world would say hustle, but maybe you’re just not ready yet.

The world would say promote yourself, but maybe all you need is a few of the right people and the gold is unearthed.

The way it rolls for some, is not necessarily how it rolls for the rest of us. The world would say use my formula to success, I would say what is your gut saying?

This week I booked a session on skype with an amazing Coach. I have spent so much time investing into others, that I was determined to find some wisdom in this season of stretch for my next steps. One of the greatest stories she told was about her journey towards getting published. It was completely different to mine. In fact, she was approached to write a book specifically. Where I sit with my manuscript in my hand thinking “oh my goodness, what do I even do with this?”

Every journey towards our purpose is completely different. We hear tips on how someone has grown their followers online, we read an article on how to make your blog audience more engaged or we hear a message on an overseas Aid organisation and we think that is how it must be done.

The how is actually what is right for you and your season.

When we rush ahead, anxiety reigns.

When we don’t allow the challenge to grow our character, we go round the round about again.

When conflict comes and it doesn’t get resolved we keep feeling the depth of that lesson.

What is your intuition (God, your heart, wisdom, friends, season) saying right now?

Be brave step out.

Be still wait and see what comes.

Get prepared for what is coming next.

Resolve those issues from the past.

Every one of our stories is unique and our journey towards living a fulfilled life is won and lost in our wrestle with the inner voices and how we read our seasons.

Find peace.

Work hard.

Enter the wrestle.

Let go.

Move forward.

Find strength.

Live beyond yourself.

Be generous.

and you never know the amazing places you will go.

I know the message that is current for me right now is this…

Stand Still

Wait

And See what is about to happen.

How about you?

signature