Why gathering with friends might heal you!

I was driving to a retreat to gather with friends and my little girl asked me a question…

“Mum, what do you think it means to be a good friend?”

Middle age has bought with it a certain amount of scepticism, that has been multiplied by a pandemic, perimenopause, rumours of war and natural disaster after another. One of my core strengths is optimism, yet even my half-cup-full is draining. I’ve had harder times of late and have truly questioned the same thing that my daughter asked me. I wondered what it meant to be a good friend.

I need healing in the area of friendships and if I am really honest, no one has done anything really bad. No conflict, no harsh words spoken, just apathy. Calls left unanswered, key moments not acknowledged and life has moved by swiftly. Middle age is here. All my friends are busy. Life is full of mortgage payments, work stress and trying to keep up with all the demands.

How are you going in the area of connection?

One thing I have learnt over many years of teaching and creating, is that stories heal.

Whether it’s a cup of tea on a verandah, a long chat on a phone with a far distant friend— we were born for community. Social Media has created a vortex, that has devastated friendships. In my own life, I have deeply questioned who even is my friend anymore. I watch people, watching my stories online and they assume that they know about my life. There are many untold stories in this online world and there is nothing that a simple afternoon tea cannot solve.

Gathering in a retreat circle with people who are open and honest with their struggles, their hopes and their aspirations is a powerful way to find healing to your story. In this season I am committed to gathering with people in person and putting effort and energy into these sacred spaces.

We need to gather again. We need to find ways to extend ourselves beyond the tasks of the day, the un-renovated houses and the less than perfect sandwiches on a table. There is something powerful about gathering in the sacred places of one another homes, to pray, to listen and to reconnect.

Have you lost touch with your friends across these tumultuous years?
Are you longing for a deeper connection and a listening ear?

I love this scripture in Hebrews 10: 24-25 but often it is used to describe the gathering of a Sunday worshippers together in a church building.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

At the beginning of 2025, we made some really intentional decisions about the places that we gathered and contributed to in the realm of our church community. They were difficult decisions to make. We have always been a part of large church environments, in the city where we lived, with an hour of driving and distance. However, we knew with teenagers and sport, mid-week commitments and life’s roller coaster, we needed to be in community locally. These communities have truly shaped my families life. From friendships, to careers and significant core memories. We could not shake the feeling that God was asking us to gather in simple ways in our local neighbourhood. After many years, we moved to a local church and joined a weekly life group.

This new gathering place, imperfect, inconvenient and simple, has deeply formed our year. It has changed the way we see faith and faithfulness. We have been so moved by the stories and prayers of our neighbours and the needs of our local community.

Don’t wait for the perfect moment or the perfectly renovated home. This week, reach out to one friend you’ve lost touch with. Send a text, make a call, or better yet—invite them over for a cup of tea. It doesn’t need to be fancy; it just needs to be real. Your imperfect lounge room and simple biscuits on a plate might be exactly what someone’s soul is longing for.

Ask whether they would like to gather and do an end of year review with you. It is a perfect way to begin again, asking them to be present, to deeply listen to one another and be vulnerable.

Hospitality changes lives.

In Scripture, hospitality (philoxenia in Greek, literally “love of stranger”) is a commanded virtue, not an optional nicety. It appears throughout both Testaments:

• Abraham welcoming three strangers who turned out to be divine messengers (Genesis 18)
• The early church’s practice of opening homes for worship and sharing meals (Acts 2:42-46)
• Paul’s instruction to “practise hospitality” (Romans 12:13)
• Peter’s call to “offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9)

In the ancient world, hospitality was life-saving—travellers needed protection, food, and shelter. To offer hospitality was to see the image of God in another and to honour that image with care. I believe in this cultural season of the world, our friends need safe places to land. The end of year review that I created this year is focused on the scripture from the prophet Isaiah when he declared that… “My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting-places. — Isaiah 32:18

Let’s walk each other back home. I long for healing to flow through my household. I long for days of peaceful habitation. I long for my house to be a safe haven for my children and their children.

Do you?

We cannot hold space for others, unless we are willing to be vulnerable and find healing for ourselves.

If you’re feeling isolated and craving deeper connection, I’d love to invite you to join me at one of our upcoming retreat experiences, where we create sacred space for women to gather, share their stories, and rediscover the power of authentic community. Because sometimes, we need to step away from the noise to remember who we truly are—and whose we are.

I loved hand stitching this year’s retreat guide. Personally praying for each booklet and writing a prophetic encouragement for every person who ordered a copy. I believe our world needs more analog experiences to heal a broken and hurting world, that is more disconnected than ever before. We need to disconnect to connect to our values and people again.

What’s one small step you’ll take this week to reconnect? I’d love to hear in the comments below.