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Chase dreams over platforms

I often get asked to speak on Social Media and can I tell you a secret? It makes me mad.

Like angry, served with a side of “What am I even doing with my life?”. I don’t want to perpetuate what is already a toxic part of our worlds. I don’t want to add my opinion to the flurry of noise.

You see my relationship with the online world, is like a needy/best friend. I pretty much vow most weeks I am going to cancel all my social media accounts and do something more productive with my life. Then I find a story like this email that landed today in my inbox that ended with…

“Anyway I just wanted to thank you for your words, I needed them that day!” 

and another that came yesterday;

“My plan for 2019 is to set aside more intentional time to write so thanks for prompting me and sparking excitement in me.  Be encouraged; you are helping me and so many others to tell our stories.”

I breathe in deeply and I remember the power of story.

Your story, my story, and our story together.

The importance of our shared conversations and I remind myself to find a way to wade through the mud and discover a mid-point again with my addiction to screens. My addiction to people approval. And my addiction to doing something (procrastinating) instead of showing up to my dreams

Are you addicted to scrolling?

Are you motivated by what other people think of you?

Are you struggling to find a sense of purpose in a season of transition?

This year I am choosing to chase dreams not platforms. I am allowing myself to dream again in a way that is bold and courageous, allowing opportunity finding me waiting, rather than bashing down the doors of platforms that seem so enticing by are just chasing the wind.

We live in an age of platform building. Grandstanding, shouting our agendas from behind our keyboards and then feeling frustrated when the connection feels less than real.

We live in an age where we believe that a waterfall of money is awaiting the click funnel we have found ourselves down, and just one more thing will be the releasing of our worldwide success.

We live in an age of self-made ambition, and in essence, there is sheer beauty in seeing the underdog rise up and find his voice but at the expense of what? Family, Health, Stress and Mental Health? No thanks.

When we focus on the platforms we are building, as a badge of honor for worth and worthiness, then we begin to tumble and fall.

When we allow the dreams in our hearts, to bubble like my sourdough starter sitting on my bench, enticing me to let it breathe, grow and produce.

We were created to produce my friends, not consume. If we feed the monkey that is the belief that we deserve the rights to have platforms, that we stand and shout our messages from the beast grows.

What if we chased dreams in 2019 over platforms?

The platforms may come to you, my friend, the opportunity for influence may rise and find us waiting, but this is a by-product of living a life of alignment.

This year I wrote a manifesto for my year and each statement I am blogging about here.

Manifesto 2019

Write to heal

Community over competition

Chase dreams not platforms

Small things often

Paper over screens

Ten second hugs

Quick no’s best yes!

Put photos on walls

Walk the earth with kindness

A sacred secret place

Prioritise people over things

5 min chats rather than texts

Exercise is my therapy

In the comments section of to the left:

Tell me;

What are you focusing on this year?

What do you think about the culture of chasing platforms?

Dream on daydreamer and find the courage to seek out the life you dream of, rather than the platform that culture says you deserve.

The difference between the two is profound.

Happy Days

Amanda

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Community trumps competition: 2019 manifesto

Meelup Bay

This morning I woke to high winds moving our tent and a sprinkle of rain. Last night I promised myself that I would get up early for an exercise class.

A text message came through with a message from a friend as she prayed in the early hours of the morning and before my alarm rang I stepped out of the tent into the day.

Walking down to the beach, I faced my fear and said yes to myself as the rain eased. Two friends were going to meet me for the class but the rain and broken sleep became their enemy.

As I walked back into camp, one of my friends said to me “I’m so sorry” and I returned “Our friendship is totally obligation free”.

I’m wondering this January morning how many obligation free friendships you have in your life right now?

Community always trumps competition. Relationships filled with obligation and should’ve inevitably become fraught with competition.

As you scroll social media, is there any feeds you follow that bring out intimidation and fear?

In 2019, part of my manifesto is to continue to celebrate community over competition. There are moments as I wade through all the messages and information here online that I need to remind myself of this fact.

Community over competition.

The only person I will compete with, is myself.

When I feel obligation rise in my heart, I allow curiosity to show me why this emotion is surrounding me.

When I feel disappointment rise as I feel someone copying my work and years of contemplation stepped over, I remind myself there is room at the table and no one can steal your voice.

When I wonder if I am enough as I see someone’s brilliance shine forth, I remind myself that my story is different and I need to honour my own journey.

Today my exercise instructor repeatedly reminded us over and over, do not do anything that your body does not feel comfortable to do. Compete with yourself rather than the others in the class. Inch your way forward and honour your own journey.

This wisdom I think relays to every part of our lives.

Those who walk alongside you or strangers on the internet are not your competition. Community always trumps competition.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Amanda

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Write to heal: 2019 manifesto

Yallingup, Western Australia 

This new year, we’ve been playing games, walking the beach and hanging with new and old friends. 

A thought that has been rolling my mind lately about how we hold space for one another. 

Yesterday was not all wonderful, I encountered some online trolling. Good old fashion judgement served with a side of righteousness.

In the midst of this online conversation, I had this impresssion I needed to hold space.

What does it mean to “hold space” for someone?

It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control.

The first part of my manifesto this year is to write to heal. I have always believed that transformation and healing can happen through creativity. That is why I give so much of myself to these online spaces and my books.

This year however, I want to remind myself to come back to journaling and writing to heal myself.

We cannot heal others. We can only heal ourselves. And if you like me believe in a greater power, I believe transformation comes through the awakening that we are not alone in this journey and their is someone else, one who stands in the gap between, who stands with us in the fire.

This year I am going to hold space for myself as much as I hold space for others. Finding ways to come back to my own writing for no other reason than to let go myself.

There are deep places in me that continually need to find release. A balm of peace digging a deep well reminding my future that everything will be okay.

I need to forgive people that don’t even know they hold a battle in my heart. I have kept them captive there and they don’t even know they are in the dark recesses of my hearts prison.

As I write, healing flows.

As I remember, the undoing begins.

As I release, peace reigns.

My word for 2019 is peaceful. Not just peace, but a life that is overflowing where peace leads and guides me. A fullness of peace that it trickles beyond my own home and transformative. A practical, life giving peace that leads me towards a greater tomorrow.

What is your intention for this year?

We all can write to heal. We don’t need to identify as a writer per say. You can journal and reflect, read and respond, journal and recover.

It begins with a little piece of a blank page.

And to my online warrior, trolling, keyboard friends who write online to condemn and judge others, maybe if you began with a piece of paper and a pen and begun to unpack the hurt within your own story, you may just write to heal yourself also.

Peaceful New Year everyone

Amanda

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2019 manifesto

Writing a manifesto for the year coming is something that has been a work in progress over the last few years. As we approach a New Year, it is easy to sit in the seat of the cynic and say its just another day.

Yes it is just another day. Another Tuesday, another week, day or dollar. I sit in the seat of the optimist however. Last night I went lay my head down to sleep at quarter to midnight. I could hear the local pub full of revellers counting down till the crossover and I prayed softly and quietly for my family as we stepped into the new.

I believe the way we transition between the old and new makes a difference. I believe when we let go of offence, when we release what has contained us and we step forward with great courage into the new it releases change.

A chapter from my latest book Pause; New Year Vision Book  has these four permissions we need to give ourselves this coming year.

Firstly we need to permit ourselves to change. You are in a state of becoming. We can change and grow.

Secondly, we need to permit ourselves to fail. The greatest critics we face can be the internal expectations we place on

ourselves.

Thirdly we need to permit ourselves to own our story. Awareness and tools like PAUSE are a fantastic opportunity for

reflection and growth.

Lastly, this year we need to permit ourselves to be happy. Digging deep into the well of gratitude and perspective,

clinging to what is good.

What is your manifesto for 2019?

Over the next couple of weeks I will be writing about each of these statements and how they have impacted my thoughts coming into this new season.

May you be full of peace.

May you find your family and friends present.

May you find your voice like never before.

May you let go of those hurts and wounds that keep you contained.

Happy days

Amanda and Team V

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Are you exhausted? Throw yourself an end of year party for one!

Motherhood is both glorious and deeply painful. Next year my youngest starts school and it feels like my husband and I have been counting down this moment for a lifetime. 
 
My second born is only four. She thinks she is twenty-four until a crowd of people surround her and then her four-ness overwhelms and she runs back to me. 
 
Two weeks before my firstborn arrived earthside; I was made redundant from my job. A job I devoured as a young adult and matured into middle age. A position that I gave everything I had and a little more. The rude shock into motherhood took my breath away. 
 
My husband and I discussed over and over throughout our nine months of being pregnant what going back to work would be like for us all. And then that day. The day that I sat on my bosses couch eight months pregnant with no option for maternity leave, confused with what was to come next. 
 
The harsh awakening into Motherhood has been the making of me. As I tried to regather my sense of self in the midst of rolling transitions, I found a new me awakening and another me that was desperate for just one night’s sleep. 
 
Time moved slowly and my second child came to sit on my knee. A moment of promise fulfilled, a little girl, with a smile that transfixed even the most hardened heart. Throwing myself into Motherhood, I didn’t miss much from my work life anymore, except those moments of finishing well. 
 
The satisfaction of sitting at a table acknowledging the goal we had kicked together — those moments at the staff Christmas party where laughter overtook the spectacular failures and the sense that I was a part of something so much bigger than myself. 
 
I have realised as the 2018 year closes on my seventh year of Motherhood, that I miss that sense of team, reflection and the finishing out of a year well. 
 
Last week my husband and I spoke about this strange longing I had in my heart. I longed for a sense of understanding. I was looking for a moment acknowledging that another year had passed and a new day was dawning. 
 
My husband is my north and always brings a guiding hand of wisdom with the perspective he brings into my life. He looked at me with all sincerity and said: “Babes you need to throw yourself an end of the year work party.” A moment of finishing, in the midst of a motherhood journey that seems like it is never going to end. 
 
At that moment I realised this is what I already do. I just needed to allow myself the grace to celebrate another year of Motherhood done well.
 
You see; Motherhood is a deep privilege to me. I stand at the school gate, very much older than the other Mums around me. I didn’t give birth to my first child until 36 years of age. Every year until that day of promise fulfilled had been a year, where I wondered whether it was even possible. 
 
When I was 27, I sat on my bed, desperately overwhelmed at the state of my singleness and barren womb. As I sat there in the beginnings of summer, I wrote a list of things that I wanted to do before going to heaven — Seventy-Five, random and dreamy thoughts, to bring a sense of fulfilment into this season of waiting. Of those seventy-five things, one of them was to be married and the other to give birth to a child. The other 73 things were wild, brilliant and so very stretching. 
 
I went off on my merry way, and as Summer turned into a New Year, I started a tradition that has held me so secure in the crazy transition from being single to married, from mother into Mum of two. Each New Year I sat with the beauty of the season and asked myself a series of questions to help me let go of the old and step into the new. I have now asked myself the same series of questions for the last 15 years. 
 
Questions like:
 
What is my character? 
Who am I?
Who is my community?
What is my contribution?
 
Helping set a context for the year that is to come and the life that I am living that is so very ordinary and daily. 
 
If my 42-year-old self, could saying anything to my 27-year-old self I would say this; “Thank you for taking the time to create a ritual that would hold you steady in a season of intense challenge and change.” 
 
I realised at that moment with my husband that the party I had been looking for, was a moment of silence and reflection in a very loud life with two small children. 
 
A couple of moments to celebrate the silent victories, those moments that no one would ever know about when I surrendered my will again and stood completely humbled in the midst of a shopping centre meltdown. Those times when I disciplined my child with kindness, to grow an amazing citizen of the world, even though saying no, was the hardest decision I have ever made.  
 
Here is how I throw myself an end of year work party and retreat for a few hours to find perspective in the never-ending workload that is the task of a Mother. 
 
Each New Year, I find a cafe. 
Each New Year, I get a babysitter.
Each New Year, I buy myself a lovely drink.
Each New Year, I ask myself a series of questions and allow myself the space to find the answers. 
Each New Year, I celebrate the wins, and I acknowledge the losses. 
Each New Year, I throw myself a little end of year party by myself. 
 
Over the years I have created this little downloadable tool, to help you have an end of year process and review. To find yourself in the midst of this season of giving endlessly to others. An opportunity as a Mother to find your vision again, within your role as a Mother but also as a daughter, an artist, a dream maker, a partner, a creator and friend.
 
When was the last time, you took a couple of hours to write, find vision and let go of the year that has passed?
 
This coming New Year season, in the aftermath of Christmas and the burgeoning promise of a new year beginning, why don’t you throw yourself an end of year party by yourself or with your closest friends and allow yourself the sheer beauty of finishing what has been a crazy but beautiful year. 
 
Sometimes being a Mum is just hard and it’s not because you are doing anything wrong. It is one of the hardest jobs of all. And we need to take the time, to ask for what we need. 
 
This year I am looking forward to my end of year work party of one. 
 
How about you?
How do you celebrate the closing of another year and the awakening of another?
You are all my heroes, the Mums in the trenches, facing another spilt drink, a tantrum at the checkout and one more request for a drink at bedtime.
DOWNLOAD YOUR COPY TODAY FOR $16.95 and just let go of 2018.
 
Amanda Viviers