I am realising quickly how damaging living my life through my phone is.
Just a few weeks ago, I was driving home from church, Maximus was asleep in the car, it was 7-something o clock.
My car was dark except for my headlights and a text message beeped through.
The darkness of the car shone the light of my phone even more brightly and I was so tempted to pick up my phone and check the message.
I quickly looked down and decided against picking my phone up and when I lifted my head up again, there was a man standing in the middle of the road.
He wasn’t running across the road to escape my car, I mean standing dead centre in front of my car, pointing straight at me, all most beaconing me to run him down.
I screamed, I prayed, I swerved, I stopped.
My car was truly millimetres away from hitting this man front on.
My heart galloped and I prayed that God would restore his soul. It was clear that he was trying to take his own life.
What impacted me mostly though was the what ifs?
What if I had have looked and replied to that text message?
What if I hadn’t stopped my car in time?
What if?
Mobile phones, from the moment they have been invented have been a part of my life. My dad bought one of the very first bricks, we had a satellite phone and I had my own mobile from when I was a teenager till now. It has not been until the last few months that I have realised how addicted to my phone I am.
As a novice mum, there are many moments that I feel increasingly isolated and the only thing that takes me out of the food plastered across the floor, the cartoons that sing in the distance, is the call of instagram and facebook to connect me with a instant reality.
My mum the other day challenged me, I dare you to go phone free for a day a week. I think she has seen my increased use of its pull and although I have explored this concept on here before, its an ongoing issue that I have to contend with.
I am doing productive things on my phone, I am building pictures, I am building community, but can I put it down and intentionally focus on the people that are in my present.
I have come up with a kind of plan.
Whenever I have my husband home on weekends etc, I go phone free.
Whenever I am in a social setting I go phone free.
During the week when I am with Max by myself, I try to limit my time and put the phone in another part of the house for moments at a time.
In the car I connect my phone and play music and also put it on flight mode, so that I can’t use my phone for other purposes.
It is a major temptation and discipline for me to put my smartphone in its right place. I direct its control over my life, it doesn’t dictate to me.
Take time to be phone free, sometime this week, you will quickly see whether you have formed an unhealthy addiction or not.
I wrote also about phubbing here: if you want to read more about this dialogue in my life at the moment.
All my love
Amanda
