the changing face of friendship

There is always a time for everything. As one season drifts into another, I find myself reminiscing the old season but hungering for the new.

I love Summer, the long nights, the beach walks, the brilliant sunsets, the days spent in our swimwear hour upon hour. Although Summer makes me smile, I love winter as well. The crochet, the open fires, the slippers, hot water bottles, deep breaths in the morning that fill your lungs with freshness. Winter.

The darker months at my beach shack can be just as enchanting as the hotter ones. Some winters we spend more days at the beach than our January’s. The sun is less brutal, the wind is less fierce and winter is a little more forgiving here.

Personally, I don’t struggle to let go of physical seasons. I love Autumn, the colours. I adore Spring, its potential. Every season woo’s me with it’s beauty.

I do struggle to let go of seasons of friendship however. I grapple to know when the season asks me to dig deep and hold on. Then I wonder whether the time is asking me to give up gracefully. I have kind of always been a super-loyal person, who believes that everyone can be and should be friends over decades rather than years. I struggle to give up on people. I see the best. I ignore the unmet phone calls. I love deeply.

The older I am getting though, the more I am realising, that the best of companions on the journey, are the ones who embrace the season you find yourself in and not try to take you out of it. They take note of the season, they celebrate it and not try to remove you from it and sometimes people are just unable to go the distance, and that is okay.

The season I am currently in, is so different to my former one. If I continually tried to be the person I was a few seasons ago, I would not be able to plant myself and grow in the place I am currently in. I would miss the moments, I would escape the kisses in the early morning hours even though 4am cannot possibly ever be legal, I would let someone else raise my babes.

One of the best gifts we can give our friends, is acknowledgement of their season. Reminding them to keep moving forward and not get stuck in places, they were not designed to remain in.

This whole year, I have been saying over and over to myself. ‘New Days, New Ways.’ I want to be a friend who is aware of the new in my closest friends seasons and encourage it, embrace it, even applaud it.

Let’s not be the kind of friends that compete and compare, holding each other captive in a season that has past. Let’s move forward into the new and embrace the tone of the season. Personally and corporately, together.

One of my favourite poems is from the book of Ecclesiastes…

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What is your current season?