Today is day eleven since we have had hot water in our little beach shack. After replacing our whole hot water system, the plumber has worked out that we are not getting enough power off the grid and the power pole has blown a fuse. Enter the wait. Waiting for contractors, waiting for big company departments and waiting for body corporates to approve funds.
I have honestly been going okay, a plastic tub as a bath for my kids, using the kettle to fill up our sink for dishes and flannel baths for the adults in the family. We ventured out today to the city and went to church as a family. I was feeling quite good, except I knew my ponytail was hiding the fact my hair needed a good wash, but despite this was excited to see our friends.
Waiting in a queue, I saw a lady that I didn’t really know. She smiled and said to my little sitting in her pram “You have another baby now?” I said with a smile “Yes, it’s going really well.” She looked at my little girl and said “Gosh she is so cute, but you’re looking really old.”
I looked and waited for the laugh, thinking “Is she trying to crack a joke”.
No joke, she truly meant to tell me I looked like I had aged since having children.
I walked away and actually chuckled.
If only she knew that my husband was on nightshift last night and the 12am, 1am and 4am cries for help, were attended all on my lonesome in the middle of winter.
If only she knew that my husband didn’t go to sleep today, so that he could come to church with our little fledgling family.
If only she knew that I hadn’t had a proper shower in days and was putting on a brave face, venturing out in public.
If only she knew that two children in three years had made me a little weary, but I’ve been writing and contributing, doing everything I can to live a life of purpose in the midst of novice motherhood.
As I sit here writing, my little baby girl is grumpy because her sleep routine was upset today so we could go to church, I’m making my husband a coffee as he goes off to nightshift again and my little man is blissfully unaware playing with his toys.
The brilliant thing is, I was able to laugh this comment off, because I have built my life and sense of self on so much more than how I look. As I study the proverbs, I am becoming more aware of what is happening around me and the choice I have to be offended with the unthinking things people say so carelessly.
What does make me sad today, is the little I know about this lady, I do know that she is a Granma and I feel sad for the words and darts that have been spoken to children who don’t have the skills to dive and duck.
You see my Mum came over for a cup of tea this afternoon and as I stood up to walk over to put the kettle on she said this “Darling, you are looking fabulous in those jeans”, I just smiled and tucked that little truth in my back pocket.
Wisdom says over and over that we need to know the power of our words.
The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.
Two Granma’s spoke to me today, one bought life, the other albeit careless could have bought death to my sense of self and day.
A woman of wisdom knows the cost of her words and she spends them carefully.
May I be someone who encourages and truly sees every person and the unspoken stories in their worlds, rather than carelessly saying things that impact people tremendously.
Always encouraging every Mum I meet with young children, that she is doing a fabulous job, no matter how unshevelled, food covered or unshowered they might actually look.
Soldier on, dear Mumma’s.
If no-one has told you today how brilliant you truly are, then let me tell you this “Darling, those jeans look fabulous on you…”
Own it, girls.
Here is my next post: She guards her heart