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how social media is not making us social


There is something about social media lately that has been irritating me more than usual. I can’t scroll by the hate that is spewing from my computer any longer. Especially the sites that categorise themselves as social.

How is your relationship with the media lately?

Erik Qualman says it quite perfectly;

We don’t have a choice whether we do social media, the question is how well we do it.

Whether it be the debate around equality, the brewing tensions in North Korea and the world. The overwhelming hatred that pours forth around Islam and refugees and the debacle that is outworking itself in the leadership of the United States.

Then you come home to more local issues, friends spewing forth vitriol over other friends. Family members using platforms to debate one another and churches manipulating their members through campaigns.

Social Media is far from social and we need strategies to be able to find our way through the mess.


  1. Do more things that make you forget to look at your phone
  2. Download an app that tells you how many hours a day you are using your phone
  3. If you feel angry, overwhelmed or sad take 24 hours before responding online
  4. Employ the tactic, would I say this on a stage in front of 1,000 people? If so, go ahead and write it. If not, then phone a friend.
  5. Have a switch off time policy and a turn on time policy.

The pressure we feel culturally to constantly be accessible, to be answering each other’s requests and demands is not sustainable.

You have to find a way to employ wisdom in the addictive nature of this forum.

If you are struggling within the culture of this part of our lives, message me, comment here and together let’s hold one another accountable to living more socially.



Re-engage with people in your everyday.

Get outside.

This will make all the difference.

I promise.


3 thoughts on “how social media is not making us social

  1. Yup.

    The articles shared and the comments below them spewing hate and judgement. They make me so stressed.

    No one will ever change their mind on a sensitive and nuanced issue because someone on Facebook rudely told them to.

    I had this conversation with my husband this week: “I just don’t think I can look at social media for the next little while. I just hurt for people who are marginalised by hurtful articles and mean comments. I want no part in that. I don’t even want to see it.”

    He encouraged me to keep being a light in a dark place.

  2. Yes to doing more things that make you forget to look at your phone!

    I love your blog posts!!!

    majority of my friends use Facebook for communication. I choose not too – havent for a few years now and I’ve lost contact. Lost my mojo with Instagram so I’ve just stopped scrolling but I do miss the social interaction it used to have.

    Still read my fave blogs every few nights but I never usually comment…..

    1. Im glad you commented. I wish we lived closer I’d love to coffee with you

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