Stellenbosch
11 January
We are at the tail end of our trip home and it’s time to say goodbye to our family. Spending Christmas in South Africa, was a dream come true— a country of contradictions. As we have travelled from Stellenbosch through to Port Elizabeth, the clear impact of the class systems here shocked us.
Each settlement that we passed, I heard my children ask for clarity with curiosity. They hear about poverty, the impact of the systems and injustice of our world regularly at our dinner table. However, seeing children play in dirty river beds, sewerage flowing onto the beach, watching families walk for miles upon highways and women stand alone on street corners. The stranger hitchhiking and the signs held at traffic lights by the homeless asking for money. The fear of car jacking and finding our belongings at risk was ever present. The misunderstandings etched into the soul of a culture, from years of colonialism.
We stood on a pier in Gqurbeha (Port Elizabeth), reminiscing about my husband’s youth and the times he spent with his family on the beach. I looked out upon hundreds of people swimming and I heard a sound from a group of men. They were singing. Loud, strong and free.
Their laughter and passion, made me smile. It was a sound of hope, an anthem of resilience and an expression of hope for tomorrow. I stood on the pier with the tension of so much challenge and violence, heartbreak and fear, yet creativity asked us to look beyond the horizon and look for resolve.
Each persons story made an impact yet it is difficult to see complexity and not be able to do something about it.
Since the beginning of 2025, I have removed all apps from social media off my phone. It’s an intentional separation of my life, to find more space for reflection. In an act of simplicity, I am intentionally quietening the stories I consume. I have quickly realised, with less scrolling, that I carry so many stories. I can’t help but absorb the emotion of the information that I am consuming online. Each post I read, each picture I observe, takes a moment of interpretation and asks me to respond. If I don’t respond, I am intentionally numbing myself to what I am seeing. This accumulates.
We have a choice, do we ignore what we have witnessed or do we engage? We are designed to respond. Empathy is the ethical response to the challenge of being human. Whether you are aware of it or not, you are digesting the information that you consume. Every highlight, lowlight and in-between, creates a reaction in our souls.
We have a choice do we numb these feelings? This has an impact. This translates into the way we communicate with the environments we exist within and the families we live our days with.
These last two weeks have been an unravelling of my soul. It’s like a tight coil of stories sits in my chest and I must untie them from my emotions. On social media I read stories of difficulty, I see the impact of your divorce, I know about your child’s diagnosis and I contribute to go fund me’s from strangers I’ve never met. Every day I am reading hundreds of stories, whether it’s a piece of artwork, your new business or the impact of something that you are expressing online.
Humans were not designed to carry this many stories.
We were designed to care for a handful of narratives. We were designed to hear about difficulties and respond with compassion. The more stories we carry, the more weight we absorb, without realising, we are unable to do something about the impact of the world around us and it loads.
Each piece of content, designed to engage my heart and life, means that I carry too many stories. My heart was not designed to lift the weight of the world. We were designed to live a village life. This enlarging of world, has meant I stay in touch with many more friends than I ever would have historically. Which is so beautiful, but it carries a cost.
Like tabs open on a computer, these tabs in our mind remain open and our soul needs resolve. We need to bring closure to the emotions we have shared. Life needs to be reset. I realised in 2024, I have so many online friendships, but they do not translate into every day relationships. I call these my 5 minute friends. Someone I can sit on my couch with an have a cup of tea. People who know the stories I don’t share online. Someone to hug and hold.
How have you resolved the stories you consume?
Has this online culture made you feel as alone as I have felt?
Paul speaks about our stories being letters written on our hearts. We are created to spend time with a group of people, to journey with them and to listen with compassion to their stories.
“You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to one known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” — 2 Corinthians 2: 2-3
The meaning of the word resolve is “settle or find a solution to (a problem or contentious matter). The ability to communicate and translate the stories that we are each consuming means we must find ways to express the concerns, the etching of our hearts and allow our minds to rest.
Peace is not just an external lack of conflict, it is also the internal settling of our hearts and minds, to be able to rest fully with resolve. One of my intentions for this new year, is to be more present to people in my local environments, than those online. My catalogue of stories in my heart, is overfull. My internal hard drive is at capacity. I need God to reset these places so that I can pour out my life with compassion once again.
Our world is writhing with stories of conflict, challenge and poverty. Our neighbourhoods are filled with need, children at risk and difficulty. We are asked to respond, but we cannot do something about every story we observe. We cannot do everything, but we can do something.
In fact, when I spend time with people helping and bringing resolve together, a conversation that brings insight and reflection—life becomes so much more meaningful.
In comparison when I consume story after story, read the news, hear strangers narratives and opinions, without the capacity to engage fully, my heart increasingly feels burdened by the state of the world.
My challenge to you today is this;
- How many stories are you consuming?
- Are you numbing yourself to these real people, with real challenges?
- How many 5 minute friends do you have?
- What can you do this year, to be intentional with them?
Let’s resolve to live life simpler. My latest journaling worksheet bundle is designed to help you unpack the stories you carry. Purchase simplify today and host a private retreat to reset your heart and mind.
Creatively yours,
