Category: Ten Ways with Amanda

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Ten ways to find more space to breathe this year

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If I could sit with every woman in Australia tonight I would tell them to breathe. In and out, slowly recalibrating the depth of responsibility that we all carry.

Breathe.

Stop.

Recalibrate.

Reframe.

I have been on a journey lately of chasing slow. Unpacking, reframing and doing my very best to stop comparing myself to strangers on the internet. How about you? When was the last time you breathed deeply and brought perspective close by?

TEN WAYS TO FIND MORE SPACE TO BREATHE THIS YEAR

1) Stop Comparing-

There is a deep part of us that finds it impossible to slow because even when we tell people we’re not, we can’t help ourselves but live in a space of comparison. If breathing and space are your pursuits this year, then we need to stop comparing ourselves to strangers on the internet.

2) Seek perspective-

There is a phrase that has been rolling around conversations and my reading lately and it has been this “the seeking”. There is a part of seeking that is deeply purposed in finding our voice. Seeking perspective helps us find space. As we find new expressions of our today, we find space in the margins.

3) To embrace silence-

When we breathe deeply, it is nearly impossible to speak. When we breathe deeply after a period of exertion it is nearly impossible to listen. This is a pattern that helps us reframe what it means to sit comfortably in silence. How do you feel in the midst of the only noise being breathing? This helps us find the space required to embrace silence. Silence forces space. It is how we respond to this space whether it is negative or positive.

4) Book in time to process-

I struggle to breathe when my mind is full of tasks. I create space in my mind and heart, by slowly walking around my house and rearranging my space. I struggle to breathe deeply when my space is cluttered. As I process the space, as I sort, as I declutter and as I arrange it is like I book in time with myself to say goodbye to the pressure of the day. How do you best process? Take the time to process and let go of the day, reframing the spaces that you exist in and find the room in your heart and mind to breathe.

5) Allow yourself to be imperfect-

I naturally fit in the category of clumsy. I spill my coffee on notes, I trip over myself as I reach for the phone and I drop my belongings everywhere. When I breathe deeply and accept the imperfections in my day, it is like I allow the breath to cleanse myself from the anxiety that perfection promotes. When we say it is okay to our “not enoughness” we allow space inwardly to grow. We need to allow our imperfections to breathe.

6) Take your shoes off and walk on the grass-

There is something about wet grass in my toes and sand beneath my feet that provokes my breath to explore the depths of its beauty. Whenever I have been working and high heels have restricted my walk, when I kick them off and walk softly on this earth, my breath deepens and space becomes palpable. When was the last time you walked the beach barefoot or park? It could be your defining process.

7) Connect your pen to paper and disconnect your mind-

Julia Cameron is one of my favourite authors and she describes a process called morning pages. Before we have picked up our phones or talked to a human soul, take a piece of recycled paper. It is important that the paper is not important like a journal or notebook and just write. Empty our hearts and minds on a piece of paper. Breathe the words from our head to our heart.

8) Find your phrase for the year-

In the midst of last year, overwhelmed by the pain of seven surgeries and the incessantness of the situation someone commented on one of my blogs, breathe Amanda. Find a phrase that comforts you, slowly and productively repeat it. Find your phrase and meditate on it. For me, I love “Let the peace of God surpass understanding and guard my heart and mind” I say it over and over.

9) Laugh at a good film-

You cannot laugh without drawing the deepest of breaths. Every time I laugh so very deeply, it is like space fills my lungs. We all need a space that we can scream and laugh, release and renew and a brilliant film can do this. Not crazy humour that is disrespectful, but wry, releasing laughter that releases even the hardest of souls. Who is that person who makes you smile? Go and sit with them and deep breathe a little. The breath that comes from a very deep, mighty roar.

10) Listen to an audio track-

There are so many audio tracks that are designed to bring rhythm to our souls. Whether it be a meditative voice, that lulls us to breathe repetitively or a movie soundtrack that grabs our hearts and draws them deeper. In my car, at the moment I have a completely instrumental soundtrack from Hans Zimmerman and there is something about this CD when it rotates into our car system, that it creates a breath in my family life that cannot be understood. Breathe, listen and repeat.

We all need space, we cannot exist without deep breathing but I have realised sometimes I hold my shoulders so tight that we refuse to release.

These are some of my simple thoughts around breathing and creating room to recover.

What is your self-care space go tos?

I can’t wait to hear your strategies.

All my love

Amanda Marie

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ten ways to be more brave this year

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It is funny when the word brave arrives in the stratosphere, we can start to heave from the pressure. The word itself is laden with images, meaning, and innuendo. A catch cry for our generation for adventure and success.

When researching this word recently I found that the word brave means;

“to show courage”

and “to endure or face unpleasant conditions or behaviours without fear”

I personally struggle with people pleasing and avoidance issues when it comes to pain. If something involves conflict with people or when pain arises my brave leaves the building.

However, I have realised lately that one thing that has been frustrating my sense of happiness and satisfaction is resolve. There are many parts of our world that we can’t resolve, but there are some things we can bring resolve to and when they are completed it is like the happy endorphins flood.

When we bring resolve to some of the dialogues hiding in the back of our minds, something shifts. Our brave story brings perspective and we are moved into a new space.

Book those appointments we have been putting off

The dentist scares me, I think about the fact that I need to book a dentist appointment often. I have written it on my task list, I have it written on the bottom of my family calendar and I ignore it. This year I am telling myself that I need to be brave about booking those appointments that I have been putting off. You know those appointments. They have come straight to your mind as you are reading my words. The pap smear, the mammogram, the skin check and the worst, the dentist. Every time we prioritise the urgent over the important it impacts our future. What if we together make a commitment to book those appointments we have been ignoring?

Have that conversation we have been hiding from

Lately, I have been thinking about a conversation that I need to start with someone but have been putting off. Have you ever had that incessant inner dialogue? We can so easily put off the painful to skip conflict but you know what the emotion resurfaces in other places. This year let’s together be brave and start conversations that matter.

Begin that project that we have been procrastinating on

Yesterday I began chapter one of my next book. I often have people ask how to write a book. My answer is often very simple. Begin. And if you get stuck, ask for help. Each of my four books came chapter by chapter day by day edit by edit. Coffee after coffee. Last night I was chatting with my husband about my book writing. It was a vulnerable, open moment I said “Babe, I have come to the place where I know my writing is not a best seller. In fact, there are many parts of my previous publications that I feel embarrassed about. But I am in the arena. I am having a go and I am daring greatly.” No one will ever say of my life, that I didn’t have a go. What are you waiting for?

Ask a friend for accountability

One of the most exciting parts of my new rhythm for this year is the accountability group I have set up online. Each year I retreat with people and we talk about change, goals, disappointments and regrets. The year goes by and only a small few I have been able to catch up with regularly to see the progression of these goals. This online group I have opened up to all my clients this year is probably the most exciting thing I have done in years. It is an encouragement circle that helps the group move forward. Who helps you be accountable to the brave steps you need to take in your life?

Write down the list of things we have been wanting to change but having been not willing to admit

Are their hidden whispers of ideas that stay hidden in your heart? One of the greatest ways to be brave is to put those ideas on paper. To meet up with someone like I do with people in one on one sessions and write a list of things that you want to change. Admitting the quiet, hidden thoughts can be the bravest thing we ever do.

Show up

Have you ever gotten an invite to something and you have put it away straight away from fear?

Have you been invited to something or wanted to attend an event like the Inspire Collective our quarterly gathering in Perth that brings people together to hang?

This year if we want to change, we need to be brave enough to show up at those events that we would normally dismiss quickly out of fear.

Start the study, apply for that job and reinvent our story

This header is pretty self-explanatory but… Start the study, apply for the job and reinvent the story. This takes big brave steps. Steps that often are done with fear and trembling. When we apply, when we fill in the form, we activate the shift in our the season for the change we have been waiting for. Start.

Let go of those people who drain and complain

This brave step is so difficult but we need to reframe the spaces in our lives that drain us of our inspiration. Does that mean I think we should block, unfriend and be unkind? no. Not at all. However, we need to be strong with our boundaries and reframe how much real estate space in our hearts. There comes a point where we need to be brave enough to say the negative dialogues are really draining and can we reinvent our friendship?

Stop the gossip

There is a part of my life that I often feel very disappointed in. A regular commitment to a group of people that leaves me feeling unsure, confused and sometimes downright frustrated. I have a close friend who knows how deeply this part of my life disappoints. One thing I have committed to my friend, however, is that I will not stay in conversations that tear down and talk negatively about this community. It takes a brave soul to stop a conversation that tears down others and a big soul that is able to sit in the place of unmet expectations but keep on reframing with grace. This year we need to stop talking about other people in ways that are difficult, mean and destructive. This brave step will honestly change your days. Walk away from conversations that are negative and destroying other people’s credibility. There is always another perspective in every single circumstance.

Speak up for those who are mistreated, forgotten and misunderstood

I am deeply passionate about humankind. There is a thread across our globe right now that is separating us into two tribes. The haves and the have-nots. Those who believe the same as we do and those who have different beliefs. This fracture runs very deep, but it will create irreconcilable damage. We all bleed the same blood. Humankind despite our colour, our preferences and our beliefs were purposed to work in unity. When we bring kindness and generosity to the fore, the world is a wonderful place. When we exclude out of fear, when we yell, conflict, war and dispute fear wins. We need to be brave this year and speak up for those who are mistreated, forgotten and misunderstood.

What do you need to be brave about this year?

Let’s find some resolve together and grow into a people who love differently

Speak again soon

Amanda Marie

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Ten ways to help feel less anxious this year

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finding peace

This morning I lined up at the uniform shop, with my list rattling around my head. I had been thinking about this day for quite a while, hoping and praying that I didn’t forget. Over and over in my mind, I have been subconsciously checking off everything on the list of what Max needs for school. Is his shoe regulation? Is his hair too long, short, styled or inbetween?

The pressure of a new school or a new class or meeting a new set of people can often create discomfort whether you are an introvert, extrovert or somewhere in the middle.

In the middle of last year after three operations in a short space of time, I woke from anesthetic in the midst of a panic attack. The cycle of reoccurrence with this health issue impacted me greatly last year. Little moments of anxiety have been laying dormant close to the surface and I have been on a journey of discovery around anxiety and its ways.

In an ideal world, I would watch a movie by myself, sleep for three days and restart my emotional health. As the Mum of two people, owner of businesses and wife I don’t have this luxury. Here are some ways that I have been creating space to feel less anxious over the last year.

TEN WAYS TO HELP FEEL LESS ANXIOUS THIS YEAR

Acknowledge the feeling and don’t try to ignore it.

Anxiety manifests in everyone in different ways. For me personally, I know I am feeling anxious, when I have a soft awareness of tightening in my chest. For no reason, with really no pattern or trigger, I can feel this grey shadow start to rise in my chest. It is like I can’t get enough air, into my lungs and I am breathing shallower. I am realising that one of the greatest ways to feel less anxious, is to actually admit that I am feeling anxious. Revolutionary hey. When I acknowledge the feeling and don’t try to ignore it, especially to those closest to me, I am one big step towards it fading away. Admitting that you need a break, that you need help or you just need a listening ear is the greatest step towards relief.

Find resolve in something simple.

Only recently I have found one of the hardest parts of parenthood is the relentlessness of the season. I personally feel most peaceful, when I have a sense of resolve. The more out of place things feel, the more unsure I am of my responsibilities, boundaries and opportunities, the more anxious I feel. Being anxious is not just a feeling for the shy and unsure. The confident, those with a great sense of purpose and those in leadership positions feel anxious often. What helps me find a sense of peace and rest is finding resolve in something, anything, not necessarily what is the cause of the anxious feelings. By writing a list, answering emails, making dinner, decluttering a room, ringing someone and generally just taking the time to bring resolve to something, anything can help me breath deeper again.

Reading and repeating positive verses.

Philippians 4: 6-7 says this;

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” I absolutely love this verse, it might even be one of my all time favourites. When I read this verse and I repeat this quote, it helps me reframe emotionally what is happening in the moment. A lot of people say that we need to empty our minds, but I believe when we fill our minds with good thoughts, it is a much more satisfying and long lasting space for growth and change. This scripture also goes on to talk about meditation and how we fill our minds. “whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Reading and repeating positive verses and quotes reframe anxiety and bring the most amazing shift.

Drinking water.

I have found anxiety can be directly correlated this year with how much coffee I have consumed. After coffee number two, it is like a beacon that shines brightly saying “warning, warning, warning caffeine overload.” Unfortunately, though I don’t always listen to my body. Beverages with caffeine can increase anxiety. Replacing soda, tea, and coffee with water is a good place to start. It is important to limit the consumption of caffeine, sugary drinks, and alcohol. All of these liquids cause dehydration because it takes the body, even more, water to remove it from your body. As simple as increasing our water intake can help us feel less anxious.

Replacing coffee with tea.

Coffee is one of my greatest loves. I am a coffee connoisseur. I am learning though that one really good coffee a day and herbal tea is a much greater decision. For all the reasons above but also to reframe where I get my energy and motivation from. If you buy a great tea, the difference in taste is huge. If you are looking for a brand to try Seven Seas Tea is my absolute favourite.

Teaching myself to slow down.

I grew up in a family that didn’t really know how to rest. We had play down, we had working hard for others down but rest, yeah not so much. It has taken me most of my adult life to reframe busyness as being successful and being focussed on what is important. Lately, I have been listening to Erin Loechner’s latest book Chasing Slow and I relate so much to her theories about life. Chasing Slow, reframing what I say yes to and sitting comfortably with the discomfort of not achieving. Each and every time I slow my pace down, anxiety comes to say hello, but I am learning to say goodbye to it as well. I have been listening to this book via Audible as an audio book and that in itself has been teaching me to slow down as well.

Framing my spaces.

Over the last few months, I have really been loving discovering the simple beauty of the sense of smell. Through essential oils, I have been reframing stress, fatigue and the spaces that I exist in, encouraging deep breathing. You will often find me now diffusing a peace blend of essential oils and often I am surprised by how much joy oils have been bringing me. Deep breaths, clearer spaces and a calming environment that helps me move forward.

Short chats with friends.

My friends and I have been promoting a new rhythm in our friendships, that we chat on the phone more than we text. Messaging back and forward makes me feel quite stressed. I never know when the conversation is finished and whether I have answered someone properly and whether we have brought resolve to our conversation. I have been having more short chats with friends and this has helped me feel heard and helps me feel like I have been able to talk out some of my thoughts as well.

The healing power of the ocean.

I worked so much of my career inside offices and cafes, so I didn’t realise that normal people spent a lot of time outdoors. Walking kids to school, swimming in the ocean and generally just seeing the sun. A few years ago, when I retreated down south in the midst of near burnout, I was swimming at a beautiful beach and I heard these words. There is healing power in the ocean. This experience marked me so much, that I went home and wrote those words and I realised I had run away from the ocean because I had some really difficult memories there. Each and every day since I have been drawing myself towards the ocean. When I swim and dunk my head under, it is like I am resetting my soul to receive more from the new day. The ocean in its expanse and beauty, has the capacity to make us feel small and alive, all in the same breath.

Distracting my sleep time routine.

Scrolling through social media is one of the worst ways to try and develop a good sleep routine. Anxiety was reframed pretty much immediately when I limited how I fell asleep and woke up each day. Laying in bed scrolling on my phone is a terrible way to get our minds ready for deep and restorative sleep. Now I charge my phone away from my bed in our lounge room and I have a rule that I need to have a conversation with a human in the flesh before I have a conversation with someone online. It has been revolutionary. For stress, for relaxation, and for sleep. Deeply breathing in my sleeping space and falling asleep with peace and purpose.

I hope these little thoughts have helped someone out in my internet space.

What ways do you combat anxiety in your everyday?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Amanda Marie.

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ten ways that I am stopping multitasking this year and getting more done.

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Focus for 2017.

Multitasking does not work. I think year after year I have tried to convince myself, if I just keep running, doing and juggling that I will be able to tick off my never ending task list. Maybe turning 40 was the catalyst and some really honest conversations with friends and mentors, but I have come to a very firm decision for 2017, that multitasking must go.

I think one of the greatest lies I have been telling myself as a Mum is that I can have it all. Just keep moving, just keep juggling and it will someday fall into place.

How are you going with your productivity?

Do you try to juggle ten things at once and give up on the couch with NetFlix?

This year I am wanting to achieve some pretty massive goals. Including losing weight, growing my writing skills and platform, selling books and writing three more. You may read all of this and think I am crazy but none of these will be achieved if I keep on juggling the never-ending task list. I have decided to stop multitasking and grow my capacity to focus.

TEN WAYS I AM STOPPING MULTITASKING

I am writing a task list on one piece of paper.

Do you have a pile of unfinished journals on your bedside table? Are you running four different notes on your phone with random scratchings of to do? I am learning to write something down on a piece of paper and to step away from technology, has been helping me refocus and move through my list with clarity. This task list has a domestic list, it has a to do list and it also breaks my day into AM, NOON and PM. The details of my day are emptied on here and I keep the same piece of paper until everything required has been followed through.

I am bringing intention to my yes and no.

As a people pleaser, it is easier sometimes for me to say yes, rather than my gut instinct of no. In the initial stages of conversation around adding something to my to-do list, I am learning to ask more questions. When the conversation begins to add something to my schedule, I ask more questions. I am also learning to focus on what is in my present, spending more time thinking about today and less about tomorrow. I take time in as season to reflect and dream about tomorrow, but I take the bigger goals and chunk them down to my present.

I am looking at ways to combine all my communication methods.

One of the most distracting parts of my life is the never-ending contact methods that are now open to us all. Over the last week, I have been looking into ways to combine all of these together. I am also asking people to contact me via email for work communication and personally I am prioritising phone conversations over texts back and forward. My closest friends have this new method of conversation it is called the5-minutee power catch up. We ring each other and sing 5 mins. We do a power catch up and have a great chat and then when a phone call is coming in, we know it is not going to be epic.

I am designing a weekly schedule that includes space and time for nothing.

I have spent a lot of my holiday period, looking at what my weekly schedule looks like. Across my week, I have allocated time for writing, time for exercise, one on one time with each of my children and home time. I love to spend time with women working on these tools in my solo one on one retreats. Taking time to create space and form to our weekly schedules. Writing them down somewhere really visible and re-visiting them often across our year.

I am taking one day each week to be phone free.

Every Sunday I am leaving my phone in our charging cupboard. We have a cupboard now in our lounge room, that technology gets placed in each night and also on Sundays. I want to be a Sabbath seeker. Where Saturday night I place my phone away and don’t come back to it till Monday morning. It is not a rigid religious rule, it is reminding myself who is in charge of technology. Technology does not rule my life and it needs to be put in its place. I believe we have become very unfocused as a culture. Where we are flitting from one thing to the next and if it doesn’t please us or interest us, we move onto the next. It would be interesting to see in the comments below, how many people read this whole article and how many I have lost already? Yes, this is dependent on my writing skills, but also it is a massive statement about how much we multitask. Rushing from one thing to the next. We have become terrible at waiting, always switching our attention from one thing to the next. My technology sabbath is helping me reframe my attention span.

I am listening to an audiobook each month.

Podcasts are not my strength, for no other reason than I struggle to listen to it and stay focussed. We can train our brains, however. Just like our bodies can be strengthened through muscle memory, so can our brains be taught to focus on one thing at a time. When I slow myself down and begin to give my attention to one thing, it grows my capacity and memory for other parts of my life. Audio books often go for ten hours or more, so I am learning to reinvent that space in my mind. Local libraries have an amazing selection of books and Audible is an amazing tool especially for those who travel in the car often.

I have turned all notifications off on social media.

I often have my phone on silent and when I am having a conversation especially in a cafe with a client or friend I turn my phone over or off. I am not sure when we all started believing that we should answer every social media comment or notification twenty to fifty times a day, but notifications are distracting and unproductive. I do not allow notifications to come onto my front screen and I do not allow my online space to interrupt my social face to face interactions. In fact, I am prioritising face to face, coffee catch ups, over long winded back and forwards online. I often say, can we facetime or skype about this, or why don’t you email me and book a catch-up.

I knit each evening.

I sound like a total Nanna but the best part about crafting like knitting is it is not my work. Creative people need an expression that is outside of their workspace to create a muse in their life. If everything you do is so focussed on performance and producing, then you will easily jump from one thing to the next, multitasking and which makes me loose the strength in what you do. An inspired worker is a productive worker. If you find yourself at an inspiration dead end, then maybe you need to explore a creative pursuit that requires your focus to develop a new skill, but one that is not based on performance and evaluation.

I am trying to truly listen to conversations rather than spending time working out how to respond.

We have all been there, in the midst of a conversation and we realise that we have no idea what the person is talking about. In the past, I have been obsessed with trying to find my voice, that often I spend time talking to understand what I am truly trying to say. I am trying to learn to be a better listener. To stop interrupting people and to breathe in the moment. Before I answer to ask questions so I really am able to stop myself from speaking from a place of what I think people have said, rather than truly hearing what they are saying. Slowing myself down. Training to listen more.

I am trying to remember to ask for help.

Lastly but far from least is I am trying to remind myself that I do not need to do everything perfectly or alone. When I feel overwhelmed I am learning to ask for help. One thing I have done for a long time, is I never go to a speaking appointment by myself. I ask a friend to come along and in those vulnerable places where I am unsure and don’t feel enough, I share the load with someone who understands. When I share the load, my focus returns and I remember the greatest privilege of life is who I do it with, not what I achieve.

Would you like to bring more focus into your 2017?

How are you bringing more intention to your everyday?

I’d love to spend time with you working on this and other life projects with my one on one-day retreats or my yearly mentoring packages. Click over and read more. Let’s continue to encourage one another in doing good.

Happy Days

Amanda Marie

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ten ways I am bringing inspiration back into my life

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I was riding on the back of a motorbike in rural Indonesia, just a few short months ago and I realised something was very wrong. The wind was rushing through my hair, I was resting my head on my husband’s shoulder and everything within me should have been buzzing. This situation in the past would have filled me with adrenaline and my heart would have been racing.

As a creative, pioneering soul, my heart aches to rebel. It is like I have always been curiously designed to push the boundaries, not in an intensely negative way but an innovative edge to challenge the status quo. Honestly, I believe if we are not pushing boundaries, then we will be constantly seeking comfort and nothing new is birthed in this position.

It was this Thursday afternoon in Indonesia that I knew something needed to change for 2017 and that my time as a stay at home Mum after five years was coming to a close. It was a natural transition, as my now not so little first born Maximus was starting full-time school. My second born Liberty has that same I want to leap out of the nest innovative style like her Mum, so we have decided to put her into a pre-kindy program and I am stepping back into part-time work.

After a lot of processing, I have come to the conclusion that there are many reasons for my squashed adrenaline response on the back of the motorbike that day. One being grief, I realised that to shut down to pain was to shut down to joy. I also realised that the constant stimulation from little people’s questions and demands had depleted my creative heart. I also knew that tiredness and lack of solitude had zapped my inspiration tanks. Together, my husband and I have come up with a simple plan to refuel my inspiration responses this year with ten simple ways I am bringing inspiration back into my everyday life.

 

TEN WAYS I AM BRINGING INSPIRATION BACK

I am prioritising “rhythm over accomplishment”.

It is easy to get overwhelmed by the urgent rather than the important. The life of a parent is filled with urgent needs in front of our vegemite smeared faces and yes our attention is absolutely needed by those closest. But an empty washing basket, worn as a badge of honor, that is prioritised over a manuscript that is awaiting attention does not give me the same long-term satisfaction as expressing the gifts that lay dormant. I am pursuing a rhythm this year, where I am seeking the important over the urgent and saying no to those things filled with the obligations that drain. Five-minute journalling and reading every day, rather than a big binge once a week.

 

I am prioritising “connection over scrolling”.

There are many days that I cannot remember who contacted me where and what I am responding too. It is like social media has fractured my connection space and it used to be one of my strengths. I have messages waiting on Instagram and people texting me replies to something I posted on social media and facebook messages, tweets, likes, follows and comments. My brain is exploding from all the messages that are flying back and forth and it is changing my capacity to remember who I have spoken to about what. I have decided this year, that I am not going to feel the pressure to respond to every text, message, and invitation that flys at me. I am prioritising face to face connection and phone conversations with people. If anyone wants to communicate online with me I am asking them to email me and once a day I will respond via email. I have also disconnected email from all my different computers and screens. I am only having my email account on my laptop and will be unsubscribing from all the emails that do not add value. I am prioritising my connection with people and thoughtful responses over scrolling and half answers and emojis filled with rolled eyes and exhales.

 

I am prioritising “health over speed”.

My life as a Novice Mum has been categorised by vegemite toast on the run and coffee going cold in a cup. I have survived the last five years, by saying yes to all of you and my children over time walking, exercising and creating healthy boundaries with food. So once again I stand here at the beginning of a new year and I am faced with the weight I have carried around with me, as I have chased my children through life. I am choosing health over speed and apples over toast, water over Pepsi max and herbal tea over coffee.

 

I am prioritising “writing over pleasing”.

Social Media brings with it such instant gratification. Every time you like my post, my people pleasing nature is ignited and the loss of online engagement over the season when I turned my phone off, made me feel deep places of rejection. This year I am choosing to write instead of people please online. The requests, the reaching out and the conversations are all so important, but it has come at a cost and the cost is the voice that I have been developing each time I sit to write with intention and grace. This year I am promising myself to write more and people please less.

 

I am prioritising “music over noise”

I like to know what is happening in the world. With two little people listening to the news in all its glory, I have realised how deeply destructive our media is. Each morning I like to put on the news and listen to it as I make breakfast. I also have a habit of listening to the news at nighttime as I prepare dinner. This year I am changing that deeply engrained habit. I am choosing music, uplifting songs and atmosphere’s, over the systemic nature of the world and its media organisations. This decision is one of my hardest, as I feel like I am saying goodbye to friends. But I would prefer to read articles and books with a more balanced world view, that the way the media has turned.

 

I am prioritising “being present over perfect”

One of my greatest privileges of 2016, on that trip to Indonesia was reading a couple of books that were profound. I read Shauna Niquest’s book Present over Perfect and I think it was the grace shift I needed in this whole season of my life. Here is the link if you want to have a read. We have also decided in February to do a book club with Elaine Fraser, Jodie McCarthy and I with this book if you want to order and read along.

 

I am prioritising “listening over apologies”

This one is a hard one. My husband said this recently “Do you realise how often in a day you apologise my love?” Woah, a stop the car moment. I spend so much of my day teaching my children to say sorry and to stop and to sit in the corner, that I have become an apology machine. When I slow myself down, I have realised that I constantly apologise for my voice. So rather than say sorry, I am going to listen more and be slower to speak.

 

I am prioritising “space over clutter”

Yesterday we de-cluttered our spare room and we deep cleaned our pantry. The plastics cupboard got a good spanking and our fridge was emptied again. I am a serial de-clutterer, but I absolutely believe the only reason I am able to write today is because my space is prioritised. It is the simplest inspiration principle, but it is profound. This year I am once again prioritising buying quality over quantity and removing myself from the culture that more is more. Whoever dies with the most stuff does not win. I refuse to be drawn into this cultural phenomenon, that if my Instagram feed is full of the latest and greatest, that I am somewhat successful.

 

I am prioritising “making over buying”

In my pursuit of consuming less, I am taking the time to make things, rather than just buy them. I have pulled out my sewing machines more times in the last couple of months than I have in the last few years. Second hand to me is my delight and hand me downs are our sustenance. I refuse to mindlessly scroll the shopping centre, throwing stuff in my basket so I feel better, I am going to get my hands dirty and make food, clothes and I know I will find the satisfaction of making there.

 

I am prioritising “the pavement over the couch”

Last night as the sun was setting my husband dressed our family in their outdoor gear and pushed us all off the couch. We should have been having showers and settling in for the evening, but he forced us out to the beach and the result was profound. The whole way as the pavement stared up at me, I wanted to return to the comfort of the couch but getting active and breathing in fresh air is the best remedy for inspiration that I know. Drinking water, talking and walking is one of the greatest ways to connect as a family and I am prioritising the pavement this year over the couch.

 

What are you prioritising this year?

Welcome to my new series that I will be publishing every Friday of 2017, “ten ways with Amanda”. A series of articles that will be releasing each week encouraging inspiration and encouragement for our weekly lives.

Happy Creative and Inspired Year truth Seekers,

I’m hoping to write a lot more in this space this coming year.

Amanda Marie