Tag: inspiration

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she is honest

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAA little lie here, a slight exaggeration there, it is as if something changes in our souls when we spend our days covering up the truth.

I have always struggled with exaggerating. Whether it is the creative in me, the performer, the people pleaser or just the lover of life. One thing that marriage has forced me to confront is this area of my life. Over the last few years I have been trying so hard to keep things real.

Real simple,

Real honest,

Real open.

It is like the days that I tell untruths, everything in my world dulls a little. Lies make me feel unsteady and I walk away from a conversation feeling cloudy.

How about you?

There is nothing worse than that sinking feeling when we are in a conversation and we are pretty sure that we are not getting the whole story.

That same feeling happens when we are not completely honest, it’s like we detach something from our true selves.

Every time we lie, we create a different version of ourselves and we feel like we are living in a foreign body.

Every time we are vulnerable and face the truth, when we are honest, when we say it just how it is (no matter the reception), it is like we reconnect with our true selves.

Are you living a life that is not congruent to your truest self?

Do you struggle to say things just as they are out of fear of rejection?

Proverbs 12: 19 would say this to us both;

“Truth lasts; lies are here today, gone tomorrow.”

or this from Proverbs 21: 6

“Wealth created by a lying tongue is a vanishing mist and a deadly trap”

and this one from Proverbs 12:22

“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.”

The more we lie, the more we leave out details that bring the full picture, when we are silent when we should actually speak, when we speak things about someone that are just not true, we discolour the beauty of the opportunity in our present.

Every time we fess up, every time we say it just how it is, every time we softly say no that’s not right, it is like a light shines from within and the colourful beauty in the moment is released.

Wisdom knows that honesty as difficult as it can be sometimes stops a whole lot of pain down the road.

Wisdom asks that we speak less and when we do to always speak in truth.

A woman of wisdom lives an honest life, even when it hurts.

She knows that every time she hides behind a lie, she is not only hurting those around her, but is building walls between living a fully authentic life.

We cannot be vulnerable and strong, we cannot live authentically and purposeful, if we are always trying to remember what version of ourselves we have told someone.

A liar may succeed in the beginning but eventually their true colours shine, business associates become distant, family and friends never know if the conversation that they are having is complete and in the end they are not trusted.

May we all be okay with weakness, may we all be okay with failure, may we all create cultures around us that celebrate honesty and authenticity. If we do not do this, we will find that people around us will start to lie, because none of us can ever live up to the measures of perfection.

Every time we get honest, it will have consequences but will always set us free.

To read more: She has hope even when there is not much left to hope for

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She is more precious than jewels

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Shoalwater, WA

It is quite easy to look at the innocence of a young child and see their naive beauty. 

Their perspective, their lack of cynicism and the profound view they hold on the world around them.

Something shifts however, they grow into teenagers, then adults and we stop seeing people as humans and our expectations grow beyond the beauty and simplicity of the connection we once shared.

Yes maturity asks that we grow, learn and change.

And compassion asks that we treat people with respect and grace.

But sometimes we forget the gift of mercy that can be extended to all in times of stretch and strain.

The definition of mercy is this;

“To be kind or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.”

A woman of wisdom bestows mercy often when it just does not make sense.

She does this because she recognises that she too is not without fault and someone also saw the innocent beauty of her humanity once.

It is a gift that continues to give long after the circumstance has faded.

Proverbs 11: 17 says it this way;

The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm.

When we are merciful and forgiving toward someone vulnerable, we see the person as a human being, rather than someone in whom it is our right to make ourselves superior. Mercy lets us set aside questions of equity, justice, vengeance, or even blame; it asks not what a person deserves, but what they need.

Understanding the brokenness of other people and the pressures they experience makes it easier to be merciful.

I love this proverb 3: 15 how it describes this wisdom and gaining a heart of understanding…

She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

It shows the beauty that is available to everyone of us, outside of possessions, outside of looks, outside of jewels, gold and finery.

Without mercy, the world would be a harsh, exacting place. When we recognize the grace we have received, all of the times that we have, mercifully, not gotten what we deserved, perspective shifts and we find in ourselves a desire to give others the same gift.

Are you struggling to give mercy or forgiveness to someone?

Are your expectations so high, that no one will ever meet them?

Proverbs 17: 9 says this

Whoever covers an offence seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

Reframing your view of someone and seeing them as a child. See them as someone who so desperately needs a break. See them as human, broken, confused, impacted by other humans, someone who is just having a go. Yes someone that may have done the wrong thing, but never the less is seeking mercy.

You are more precious than jewels.

Wisdom decorates your heart and soul with indescribable beauty.

Every time we extend our hearts and lives to lift another, something deeply profound happens. An innocence awakens, a return to a place where we are not superior than another, we remember where we have come from, how many times we have got things so deeply wrong and an equilibrium shift occurs.

Let’s keep forgiving extending grace in situations that don’t necessarily deserve it.

Let’s keep finding ways to extend mercy and care to those who don’t thank us for it.

Let’s keep digging deep the well of wisdom, to find ways to bestow respect and honour on humanity once again.

We are not each others judges, we are fellow companions on the journey.

We were designed for community and every time we accept each others differences, we shift the balance back a little more to neutral.

Wisdom is not a call for the weak, it is a call for the very brave. Those who are willing to go to places than many do not have the courage to go.

Tomorrows post can be found here: She is honest

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she builds her life on firm foundations

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Em Hazeldean, one of the lovely @secretsinthebay girls on a Rockingham Wild Three Island Tour.

Have you ever had a season when you felt like everything around you was crumbling?

I have.

That season was the most overwhelming time in my life. The funny thing is though, in the midst of the aftermath I realised that not everything had been taken away from me. What was left was my family, my faith and my closest friends. I found myself smiling, standing amongst this realisation, thinking I indeed was a very rich woman.

Just a few short months ago, my dear friends Aunty got the call that no one ever expects to get. She was called by her husband as he stood and watched their house burn to the ground. As my friend and her family searched through the wreckage of their home, they also had the most beautiful awakening moment. They realised although a million dollars worth of property and valuables had been lost, they still had these same things; Their family; everyone had survived the tragedy, they had their faith; which is now stronger than ever and they had the most beautiful sense of community as people gathered around them in their darkest moment.

At the end of the day, when all is lost, the only thing that remains is the foundation of what we have built our lives upon.

Would family, faith and friends be enough to sustain you if you lost everything?

What is of greatest value to you?

Your looks, personality, house, valuables?

What about your reputation, what others think of you or your online presence?

In the midst of tragedy or immense life change, none of these things will remain and when we build our lives around them, it is like building a mansion on top of shifting sands. The reason why builders require deep foundations of concrete, before any house is built, is because the weight of the life that is built can only withstand hardship and challenge, to the depth of its foundation. The higher the building, the deeper the foundations go.

If you thought of your life in terms of values, character or what is most important to you, how strong is your foundation?

If everything was taken away, what would you be left with?

A woman of wisdom builds her life around firm foundations. Values that are deeply ingrained in her character and life. Wherever she goes and whatever she does, she is congruent to the foundations that have been firmly dug in her life.

She values generosity.

She deeply appreciates and give precedence to her family.

She loves and pursues integrity.

These are the silent companions of wisdom that build strength in our lives.

Strength from a foundation that is firm, will always give us light and life to any path or season that comes our way.

Proverbs 4: 18

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day.

Proverbs 11: 20

The Lord delights in those with integrity.

If you find yourself in a season where you feel as though you have lost everything, have a look around and see what your life was built upon.

The values that we build our lives upon are the things that will hold us and keep us in times of stretch and struggle.

These foundations are very different for a woman of wisdom, than what popular culture would tell us is important.

What is the very substance of your life?

Who and what do you live for?

What do you believe you were created to do on this earth?

These my friend are the very things that will be important when days of challenge come. When we build our life on silent values birthed from wisdom, no matter what tragedy may befall us, nothing can dig up the foundations of strength that remain.

To keep reading here is tomorrows post: She is patient in waiting

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she faces her pain

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Shoalwater Bay, Western Australia

Honestly if I can get away with not feeling pain, I will go to great lengths to escape it.

My little lady had her immunisations today and I had to leave the room, I could not handle hearing her pain.

You see when I was a little girl I spent a lot of time in hospital sick, Needles, IV drips and doctors offices carry a resounding place of fear deep in the memories of my heart. I hate physical pain. The memories of the vulnerability still send shivers up my spine.

The thing about immunisations is though, they are designed to protect us from a whole heap more pain, if we get the diseases they are protecting us against.

A bit of pain now, to save a whole lot of sickness in the future.

I find that wisdom is like an immunisation for the soul.

When we seek it, it protects, guides and keeps us away from places that could possibly end in great danger for the future.

Wisdom is an intuitive knowledge, that helps us make decisions that stop us from going down paths, that will lead to unsafe places.

Despite the protective nature of wisdom we each have pain from past experiences that needs to be processed and let go of, to move brilliantly into our new chapters.

What about the pain that lingers deep in our souls, that we desperately try to keep submerged?

Just like this proverb 14: 13 talks about…

Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.

We each carry around wounds and deep memories of pain that sometimes is just too hard to face.

“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”  John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

As hard as it is to face these places with care and in the right season, a woman of wisdom faces her pain.

She processes,

She asks for help,

She opens her heart to those who are safe,

She does not hide behind masks of confidence and pride, she finds a way to unpack the baggage that has tried so desperately to become her companion.

Proverbs 4: 20-22 encourages us to find ways to let go of the pain in our hearts and move forward into the future. Finding health for our whole being.

“My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.”

Proverb 3: 1-3 encourages us to reform and heal our hearts with words of life and promise.

“My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.”

Imagine if the health of our heart was a window into our soul. Just like this proverb describes, a tablet that our life is written upon.

Has pain kept your heart contained?

Is there deep conversations, that are waiting to be released?

Every one of us have seasons and dialogues of pain, the problem is not discovering or finding where the wound is. They often rear their little heads around every corner, the problem is finding safe and valuable ways to release them.

A woman of wisdom finds safe ways to face her pain.

She let’s the past go, she forgives and she releases.

My prayer across this whole month of writing has been that the time I am giving to researching the depths of life found in the book of proverbs would bring transformation.

The greatest gift we can give to our families is finding ways to let the past go and to live fully in our present.

Do you need to find a counsellor?

Is there a story inside your heart that you need to write and reframe?

Has forgiveness been slow to rise in your heart for a person who hurt you deeply?

Facing those places of pain with health and in the right season can be the greatest release into a new season of hope for you.

Let go of that which is holding you down my friend.

Step out into new and broader horizons.

To keep reading here is tomorrows post: she finds the rest she requires

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She extends herself

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Today has been one of the busiest days for me, speaking at an event, preparing for birthdays, fixing, helping, driving, cooking. The last thing I felt like doing was writing. This 31 day journey is a commitment I made and sometimes to follow through on the promises we make, is extremely important even when we are “fried!”

Often it’s in these very moments of extension, that our hearts and capacities are stretched. We are not designed to live in this red zone, but we are designed to reach, learn and give a little more than we think we can. It’s like our souls have an elasticity, that is strengthened in the stretch. We do need to allow ourselves to reform again, but without the stretch, we stay unfulfilled in our purpose. I believe these are the very days that define us.

Those days when we think we cannot run another five minutes but we do.

Those days when we speak in front of a crowd that once completely intimidated us.

Those days when we start writing that book that has laid dormant inside of us.

Our days of stretch.

Proverbs 31: 20 says this;

“She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy”

I absolutely love this verse. I love that it is an effort for her to make a difference and she extends her heart and hand in the process.

There are some of my other favourite scriptures that are not from proverbs but they inspire me none the less

Psalm 18:19

“He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”

And also this one;

Isaiah 54:2

“Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.”

There is something about these two encouragements from days of old, that encourage me to not give up in the days when things are difficult.

Just a few days ago I read this poem and it literally stopped me in met tracks;

“Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Francis Drake

Disturb us O Lord. How profound is this perspective?

One of the greatest thing that inhibits us living a life of purpose, is we seek comfort. We want to feel comfortable, we look for nurture, we seek to hide.

Even though in the right time and the right way all of these things can be an important part of self care and soul health, we will never live a life of purpose if we allow these things to define us.

There is something very valid in having intentional moments of stretch. When we do something we have never done before, when we give to something that is a stretch financially and personally. When we talk to someone and it takes effort. When we sacrifice and say no.

Growth and change are not comfortable.

Living a life of wisdom where we learn in that space of extension is the most defining of spaces.

When was the last time you felt uncomfortable?

When was the last time you did something that made you nervous?

When was the last time you felt growth pains?

This my friend is what it looks like to live a life of wisdom.

Tomorrows post is here: She is ever learning

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