Familiarity breeds contempt

The vulnerability explosion online has been a welcome refuge to the filtered and stretching of reality. However, I have realised in the midst of the honesty moments online familiarity is breeding contempt.

We have become familiar with people being honest.

We have become familiar with people feeling deeply.

And in the midst of that familiarity, it is breeding apathy.

In communications, familiarity breeds apathy.

William Bernbach

I have noticed that it is easier to assume what is happening in my life by my online interactions rather than sitting and having face to face conversations. The smiley photos of my children, the highlight reel and quick inspiration quotes can help us quickly check in to each other’s worlds but it also enables quick assumptions. It can make us feel falsely connected and at the end of the interaction slowly and sadly we become more and more disconnected.

Do you feel unseen by the world?
Do you feel alone?

Over the Christmas period here in Perth, Australia I took a sabbatical from social media. I left my phone at home. I deleted apps from my device and I rested into the rhythm of a new year. I pulled out my book New Days and began to write. I explored my thoughts without the comparison to others. I expressed myself in a way that was honest and raw not worrying what others had to say. I spent time reflecting and retreating from the world. Here are three lessons I learned whilst I switched off over the summer.

Be More Intentional

In the midst of my sabbath from online familiarity, I decided that year I want to be more intentional about the way that I interacted online. There is an amazing app called In the Moment that shows you how often you are on apps and your phone. This week I asked my accountability partner to check my activity on my phone and my goal is only two hours per day.

Use Facetime More Than Messanger

Messanger is easy and so are texts, but they don’t convey emotion or context. Each time I start to text and it turns into a marathon, I stop the stream and say let’s facetime. Also with friends and family, I have been scheduling the time to video call rather than text across the week. It is an awesome way to connect, using the technology with wisdom but finding ways to connect more effectively.

Stop The Scroll

I am learning to stop the scroll. Each and every time I find myself down rabbit holes of scrolling. I switch off my phone and go and pick up a book. Reading more intentionally has really helped me exit from the chewing gum of the mind that is found in the scroll.

What are your tips?

I’d love to learn how you are facing this epidemic in our world. Maybe your social media world has disconnected you more than you realise and familiarity with each others ideas, stories and life has atrophied.

Let’s encourage one another to live more connected in 2018.

Come and join my online accountability group YOUR GOALS WITH AMANDA VIVIERS and together let’s live with more intention.

Amanda Viviers