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Familiarity breeds contempt

The vulnerability explosion online has been a welcome refuge to the filtered and stretching of reality. However, I have realised in the midst of the honesty moments online familiarity is breeding contempt.

We have become familiar with people being honest.

We have become familiar with people feeling deeply.

And in the midst of that familiarity, it is breeding apathy.

In communications, familiarity breeds apathy.

William Bernbach

I have noticed that it is easier to assume what is happening in my life by my online interactions rather than sitting and having face to face conversations. The smiley photos of my children, the highlight reel and quick inspiration quotes can help us quickly check in to each other’s worlds but it also enables quick assumptions. It can make us feel falsely connected and at the end of the interaction slowly and sadly we become more and more disconnected.

Do you feel unseen by the world?
Do you feel alone?

Over the Christmas period here in Perth, Australia I took a sabbatical from social media. I left my phone at home. I deleted apps from my device and I rested into the rhythm of a new year. I pulled out my book New Days and began to write. I explored my thoughts without the comparison to others. I expressed myself in a way that was honest and raw not worrying what others had to say. I spent time reflecting and retreating from the world. Here are three lessons I learned whilst I switched off over the summer.

Be More Intentional

In the midst of my sabbath from online familiarity, I decided that year I want to be more intentional about the way that I interacted online. There is an amazing app called In the Moment that shows you how often you are on apps and your phone. This week I asked my accountability partner to check my activity on my phone and my goal is only two hours per day.

Use Facetime More Than Messanger

Messanger is easy and so are texts, but they don’t convey emotion or context. Each time I start to text and it turns into a marathon, I stop the stream and say let’s facetime. Also with friends and family, I have been scheduling the time to video call rather than text across the week. It is an awesome way to connect, using the technology with wisdom but finding ways to connect more effectively.

Stop The Scroll

I am learning to stop the scroll. Each and every time I find myself down rabbit holes of scrolling. I switch off my phone and go and pick up a book. Reading more intentionally has really helped me exit from the chewing gum of the mind that is found in the scroll.

What are your tips?

I’d love to learn how you are facing this epidemic in our world. Maybe your social media world has disconnected you more than you realise and familiarity with each others ideas, stories and life has atrophied.

Let’s encourage one another to live more connected in 2018.

Come and join my online accountability group YOUR GOALS WITH AMANDA VIVIERS and together let’s live with more intention.

Amanda Viviers

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12 days of Christmas

We are super excited to announce our annual social media campaign…

12 Days of Christmas. Secrets In the Bay.


A 12-day profile of local businesses in the Rockingham, Safety Bay, Shoalwater, Baldivis, Kwinana Regions. Last year we had an engagement of over 100,000 views on the products we promoted in the lead up to Christmas. We are passionate about the local region and this promotion is all about celebrating buying local this Christmas.

Here is how it works:

*download the terms and conditions here

*All Products must be delivered by the 4th of December to Kent Street Deli Attention Secrets in the Bay.

*Applications to or including full social media URL links.

*12 businesses only.

*Product must be $50 RRP or more.

What the business gets…

*3 original product photos

*Exposure to secrets in the bay media channels.

*Engagement with the local community.

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day 27: What do you admire

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27. What do you admire?

Maybe the list of things you have been looking for in a spouse is completely removed from the things you admire in humankind.

One of the greatest traits we can have in a marriage is mutual respect.

Respect goes way beyond an initial spark of attraction and someone’s physical appearance. It is founded in admiration.

Draw a person.

Now brainstorm around that picture the things you admire most in people.

Remind yourself of these things when you are meeting new people and branching out on new opportunities.

The greatest relationships are founded in respect and admiration.

“Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.”

Joanne Woodward

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day 13: do something for someone else


13. Clean someone’s house.

Lately, I have been learning to let go of my unrealistic expectations of myself and my partner and to love the very ordinary moments of each day.

One of my favourite books that I have read in the last twelve months was ‘One Thousand Gifts’ by Ann Voskamp.

She talks about her every day, ugly moments and finding grace and truth in them. When we sweep the floors, when we wash the dishes, when we serve…

Our everyday, ordinary.

“I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep.”

Ann Voskamp

My challenge to you today is to offer to clean someone’s house. Or to offer to do something very ordinary, very boring at work and to take your time to discover beauty in its plainness.

Maybe just wash the dishes tonight, and enjoy the simplicity of the moment. The warm water on your hands, the dishes swirling around.

Take time to embrace the ordinary today.

Maybe someone very ordinary is wanting to capture your attention as well.

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Day 8: Journalling and a Heart examination


8. Take a heart examination?

How is the health of your heart?

Not your physical one, but the heart that represents your soul. Your personhood. Your emotional world. The place where your spirit resides and your mind feeds.

If you could write down one word that describes how you feel in your internal world, what would it be?

Do you feel hopeful?

Do you feel disappointed?

Do you feel overwhelmed?

One of the best ways to help hope arise again is to take time to write a stocktake of how you are really feeling.

To write until you can’t write anymore, to get it out on paper.

Then to take time to release these thoughts and to trust and hope again.

Some people will need help with this process from a friend, a counsellor, a therapist, a pastor.

Others will be okay to take time to pray, to process and to allow hope to rise again.

Today’s challenge is to write and allow your true feelings to be expressed and then find someone to process them with to help hope arise.