I sabotage my own attempts at change.
I don’t often realize it though.
Yes, I am.
What about you?
I make a decision to change an area of my life like; no social media all day and by 9am I am back on Facebook.
I sabotage myself by convincing myself it’s okay. No one knows, it’s not hurting anyone, it’s okay.
Creatively though, sticking to deadlines and pushing through with discipline is an important part of our craft.
As a mother, sticking to rules and following them through is an important lesson in integrity that I model to my children.
As a wife, to be known as someone who fulfills her word builds trust.
So why do I fail miserably in some areas yet accomplish fabulous things in others?
I think emotional memories that are linked to coping strategies from when I was young.
I fail in similar areas because these areas are parts of my coping mechanisms formed as a young child.
Food for comfort, Addicted to what people think of me, Worry about who I am and what I’m living for.
They are just a few of my deep dark secrets.
Its because these coping mechanisms have been helping me for years to deal with stress, life, failure, disappointment. They secretly sabotage my attempts to change because they create comfort.
If I am uncomfortable, my emotions tell me I am in a bad way, therefore I will subtly try and deal with the discomfort.
However no major change ever happens easily. No major change happens without discomfort. No change happens without distress and digging deep.
Change is hard.
That’s why so many people never change.
I don’t want to be known as that person.
I want to get better at change for 2013