How do we cope when times of struggle and strain come into our lives?
I am often shocked when bad things happen to wonderful people, but I am learning this is just life.
I don’t believe God makes bad things happen to test us.
I don’t believe people gain trials and tests to make them stronger.
I believe wholeheartedly that we live in a fallen world, that is trying desperately to recalibrate itself and as a part of that process human, desperate, tragic and terrible things occur.
We will all be exposed to tragedy, trial, discomfort, betrayal, sickness, defaming and more in our lives.
What I am discovering however, is that some people respond to these challenges in their lives in different ways.
The ones that acknowledge the pain, who fall apart to begin with but then rebuild their lives, are people who have built resilience into their everyday.
the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
How do I rebuild after being made redundant?
How do I redefine my life after losing a loved one?
How do I find strength again after debilitating illness?
I am finding in my world, resilience.
Being resilient doesn’t mean going through life without experiencing stress and pain. People feel grief, sadness, and a range of other emotions after adversity and loss. The road to resilience lies in working through the emotions and effects of stress and painful events.
A great definition I found here is this…
Resilience is also not something that you’re either born with or not. Resilience develops as people grow up and gain better thinking and self-management skills and more knowledge. Resilience also comes from supportive relationships with parents, peers and others, as well as cultural beliefs and traditions that help people cope with the inevitable bumps in life. Resilience is found in a variety of behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed across the life span.
In our bathroom, I have this little ship in a bottle.
Every morning when I brush my teeth and each night as I wind down ready to sleep, it stares at me from our bathroom ledge.
There is something about this ship, that speaks volumes.
I wonder who made it.
I wonder how far it travelled before it came to my bathroom shelf.
Mostly, it reminds me to build strength on the inside for when the storms come.
Strength on the inside, is not something that is easily built.
Piece by piece, strand by strand this ship has been built within the bottle, to create a masterpiece of resilience.
That is how we build resilience.
By addressing issues when they arise.
By having hard conversations when they niggle.
By cutting off things that drain and are toxic.
By pushing through and seeking wisdom in times of struggle.
Great friends, forgiveness, seeking peace, letting go of that which constrains, exercise, shutting down, rest, play…
These are just some of the ways I am learning to build resilience in my internal world.
What builds resilience in your life?
I’d love you to comment below.
2 thoughts on “Strength on the inside”
Amazing post! Learning from the tough stuff! Sometimes for me that was years later that I realised how I could turn what I learned about a circumstance around. Not being afraid to try again! I try breast feeding 3 times and had success on the 3rd baby! It was an amazing triumph for me. Also staying close to my values so that when my world gets rocked I am reminded what is important!
You are amazing Tam. Thanks for your tips and thoughts. I appreciate them.