Last night I didn’t sleep a wink.
I laid there for pretty much the whole night, rolling, praying, thinking, wondering.
My little man wasn’t awake, neither was my big one, I just had one of those nights.
I was speaking at an event this morning, so the timing wasn’t ideal, but what could I do?
The more frustrated I got, the more restlessness set in.
Call it third trimester discomfort, call it my humanity, call it thoughts about past circumstances and present realities that rolled around my head.
This morning as I prepared to leave the house, my husband playing so contently with my little man, I thought about the whole load of washing on the line, that was now dripping wet, with the downpour of rain falling.
I wanted to dwell in that place of discontent. No sleep, wet laundry piling, but I didn’t I went to kiss my little toddler goodbye and I smiled.
I had blow-dried my hair and put make up on for the first time in ages, ready to go and meet a whole new group of people and he smothered my face with vegemite kisses.
I walked out of the house feeling different, feeling loved, feeling overwhelmed at the possibilities that vegemite perfume gave me.
Recently my little family went to our city zoo.
My pregnant belly, couldn’t stand any longer, so I sent my men into the snake exhibition and I sat on a park bench and rested.
As I sat there this little sparrow came and played around my feet.
I took a quick photo and didn’t think much more of it till today.
I was reminded of this photo as I prepared to speak.
There is a scripture that says this;
That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God, above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6: 25- 34
As a mother, as a sister, as a friend, it is so easy to focus on all the things that you are not. All of the worries and the concerns of life can overwhelm us at times. The sleepless nights, the wet laundry, those words that people have spoken that are not the truth, people who reject and ignore us… The list goes on.
Just as this little sparrow, flits about his day and works towards gathering food for his little family, God looks out for him.
With no worry.
He just get’s on with his life.
And if God cares so wonderfully for the wildflowers and the sparrow, he indeed looks out for us the prize of his creation.
Today, I am remembering a quote I read recently from Brene Brown;
Letting go of the mother I think I am supposed to be and embracing the one I already am…
For you it could be letting go of the daughter, friend, work employee…Wherever you are anxious and worried and embracing who you already are and the possibility and potential of your beauty.
Vegemite kisses, so not perfect but full of delight and wonder.
Innocence and privilege.
Every day ordinary moments, that truly make us wealthy.