(roses from my Aunty’s garden)
Lately I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness.
What it means to truly forgive someone.
How to move forward and find new ways to relate with people involved but not hold an offence.
These have been the deep wanderings of my heart that have surfaced over the last few weeks.
I am mostly quick to say sorry. I also try my best to say someone is forgiven as soon as possible, but it takes me months, sometimes years to forget or let go of the offence.
I will contact someone if I feel like there is a awkwardness or problem but I am realising that I can say someone is forgiven, but feel deeply wounded inside.
Last night we said goodbye to my parents in law and afterwards I stood under the full moon and hung out the washing that had piled over the days.
I found myself thinking about stuff I had forgotten over the week because I was somewhat blissfully distracted.
My thoughts were loud.
Like the layering of a flower, petal after petal, hue after hue.
I stood there mid hanging of sheets and refreshed my heart and my mind, determined to let go of that which was just not helpful or true.
Today I started a Mums and Bubs Yoga class. I sat and stretched, rolled and breathed, aware of the thoughts that often plague my mind.
Every breath and every stretch reminded me of my commitment to cleansing the stream of thoughts that commit combat in my internal world.
8 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. 9 Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realised Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. 10 I’m glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess – happy that you’re again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. 11 Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. 12 I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Philippians 4: 8-12
How do we forgive and let go well?
I am not sure it is a quick exercise.
I am sure it takes time, depending on the size of the hurt and the depth of the wound.
One thing I do know though, is the more we confront these ebbs in our hearts, the quicker we are to admit our own fault and when we accept that sometimes the relationship will never be the same again, the more complete is our transition towards forgiveness can be.
What thoughts do you have about forgiveness and letting go?
I am thinking a lot about 2015 at the moment and I feel a hint of a direction towards spending the whole year writing and learning about friendships.
How to be a better friend?
How do we make friends?
De-bunking the best friend theories?
How to commit and let go in the midst of transitioning seasons?
Lowering our expectations of others and ourselves?
How to be a good friend to your partner for life?
Friends with similar hobbies?
Deep Spirited soul friends?
Friendship in an online saturated society?
I am thinking of focussing one month on each topic, getting back to how this blog began 7 years ago, with the focus on 30 days of change and reflection.
Anyways, maybe this is why I am so drawn towards forgiveness and letting go of offences in this season, in preparation for the new.
Ever learning, ever growing, I am a work in progress.
3 thoughts on “Quick to forgive, slow to let go of the offence.”
I have learnt that forgiveness is not an option. It’s not easy, it’s even painful. But even in the most severe hurt it is possible with the Father’s help. And that my debt is far greater than any grievance committed against me. I want to be a forgiving servant.(Matt 18:23-35)
That should say “Forgiveness is not a choice”
Yes indeed it is not a choice but following it through to the place where we have not held an offence against those we are forgiving, even to the littlest degree is something I struggle with. XXOO