Most Sundays I wake and the first thing on my mind is Church. Not the hipster interpretation of a group of people judging each other for what they wear and how cool their instagram feed is.
Church; intentional, beautiful, broken, often disappointing.
What thoughts come to mind when you think about it?
Old men wearing robes and swinging incense?
Scandals, laced with deeply hypocritical dialogues?
Times when you have trusted people and they have completely broken that trust? or
Moments of sacred contemplation lighting a candle for a loved one?
Music?
Money?
Coffee?
Fashion?
Judgement?
What comes to mind?
The word Church actually means a gathering of people. A community of people seeking God, taking time to reflect on their internal spiritual worlds and encouraging one another to look outside of that introspective place.
Sundays make me think about my people, my faith, intentions, opportunities, forgiveness, forgetting or trying to do my best to let go at least.
Church is not;
a set of rules,
an obligation,
rituals,
make believe,
a crutch for the weak,
a costume that you wear.
Lately I have been consumed with seeking the new. New days, new ways. Echoes in my heart over and over.
What is next? What needs to be left behind? What is religion? What is real?
In my pursuit of truth, I don’t want to lose sight of what is good, what is meant to be hard, what is beautifully incomplete.
Church.
It will never fulfil every desire, it will never be perfect, it will never satisfy you, because it was never designed to.
It was designed to make you hungry.
It was designed to make you seek.
It was designed to make you hope.
It wasn’t designed to give you all the answers because people can’t, only One who is greater can do this.
Church, its not just something I do with my friends (as much as love to)…
It is brutal. It confronts. It makes me feel awkward. It hurts.
It also heals, it reforms, it refreshes, it challenges, it brings new life.
Church; People, questions, seeking, hoping.
It is the hope of the world.
Fallen.
But designed to be free.
If your experience of church has been broken, you are not alone. Don’t throw away the deeply sacred journey of doing life in community because it doesn’t satisfy all your needs.
It was never designed to.
Wow! A beautiful brave post Amanda, I loved this.
I find I’m always reflecting on church and the word itself and what it means to me. It is one of my favourite words/most treasured words, always stirring deep emotion, even though it too has been partnered with some of the deepest pain, it’s still so valued by me.
Your post depicts so well what I’ve felt, it’s is such a sacred journey because of it’s absolute triumphs and it’s imperfections, but is absolutely worth all the work of holding out for and holding onto.
So great! What a beautifully flawed picture of ‘church’ which makes it even more sacred. Amazing!