when life is heavy

I have struggled to write lately. No matter how much I have been milking my knitting muse, no matter the deep breath’s and long walks, the words have been slow to come.

Oh, they are raging hard and fast in my heart and head, they just haven’t made their way to my fingers and mouth, until today. Over the last few years a scripture from the book of lamentations has resounded so strongly in my life. It is a little nugget of wisdom that feeds my life when I surrender to its discipline.

When life is heavy.

When life is unfair.

When the burden becomes to hard to carry.

This is what the writer says;

“When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear.
Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst.” 

What an amazing grouping of words. What a beautiful picture of a life sown.

Man would say fight hard and strong, God would say wait on me and breathe deep.

Man would say get justice, get revenge, seek any retribution you can, God would say trust in me, I am bringing all things together for good.

Man would say shrink back, protect your family, hate and despise, God would say “Stand still and see what I will do before your eyes.”

I wrote in the midst of my heart heavy chaos this week on instagram…

“In the midst of so much chaos and confusion. I refuse to hate. I refuse to cast my opinions strong and hard. I choose to love. I choose to hold those dearest to me closer. I choose to take time to thank. I choose love. Light will always win over darkness. The world is aching for hope to be revealed. In the end I believe love wins. It’s the only thing that ever has. Goodbye competition, comparison, fear and harsh judgement. Hello friendship, mercy, grace and truth.”

Life continues to unfold with the greatest insecurities and challenge, yet I refuse to give in and allow the heaviness to overtake. See every opinion that is thrashed about hard and strong, has another perspective that proves to be so valid.

There is no quick fix formula to respond in the midst of crisis, death, breakdown and fear. We want formula, we want quick fix, we want to build our fences higher and higher, trying to make our worlds simpler and smaller. Yet the problem is we are the ones who remain inside, as we try to escape the drama in the world, we realise the filter with which we have seen everything through is our own eyes, our own experiences, our own failure and weakness.

When we see our opinions through the lens of the man in the mirror, when we ask ourselves what would it be like to walk in this person’s shoes before we speak, when we face our own insecurities, then our heaviness will be transformed by the perspective of the greater story.

Reflect

Reframe

Resist

Renew

Each time we reflect, we find perspective and reframe, we resist harsh judgement, we renew our sense of hope and promise.

Our heaviness eventually lifts and hope rises again.