As a mum of two pretty wild littles, I am often overwhelmed with the task at hand. My two-year-old is the one who goes over to the iPod and plays DJ at her ballet class. Then this morning after class we went to the local cafe and her tutu screamed as she lay on the floor demanding ice cream and attention from all.
The life of a Mum is one that is called to servanthood. It is a life of humility, making hard calls and often it is one of sheer embarrassment. I walk this very fine line of wanting my children to be wild and free, yet civilised and secure.
My husband works every day with youth at risk. He says to me often, the main reason why these boys are off the rails is because they have grown up with no discipline and boundaries. Boundaries make kids feel safe and children who have grown with strong boundaries and fierce rules grow into teenagers who know how to deal with the ebbs and tides of emotions, that adolescence brings with it.
The problem is, I want my kids to find their voice, I want them to learn to say no, I want them to be able to stand up for themselves, but at the same time have respect, be kind and stand up for the underdog.
As a Mum, I wrestle these same extremes in one morning of motherhood. The life of a Mother is a life of servanthood. We always have something to do. I don’t often sit and think, what shall I do today. I sit to rest after world war three has erupted in my loungeroom and I am like, what shall I do first; The washing, the vacuuming, make lunch, lunch is finished, the dishes, scrub the floor, now dinner…The list is endless.
Then I know how much I need to look after myself and how self-care is imperative in the life of a Mum.
How do I prioritise self-care, so I don’t scream my face off at those around me, whilst living a life of vegemite covered clothes?
How do I satisfy those desires of freedom and the wildness that grows deep within my uniqueness, yet not act in a way that offends and draws attention to myself?
I want to express my truth, the parts of myself that not many get to see, but at the same time be kind in the way I walk my days. Not only do I want that for myself, I so desperately want it for my children.
Finding ways to bring boundaries and discipline into my every day, but having the wisdom to know when they need to be thrown into the wind and dance freely as they whisk away.
I think routine, accountability and boundaries are important for both adults and children alike. If we spend our days with no rules, with unlimited choices and with no tasks at hand, we become extremely unproductive and unsatisfied.
The opposite is also necessary as well. We need days where it doesn’t matter if the dishes are piled by the sink, we need to walk away from the lists, the demands, the emails and the opinions of those around us and surrender to the call of the wild.
There is this part in every single one of us, that needs attention and care. It is a fragile voice that is asking for expression, there is a part of us that needs time to develop and arrive. When was the last time that you stood and faced the sea and screamed your heart out not worried whether anyone was watching? When was the last time you did something for the first time and your stomach landed in your throat? When was the last time you stayed in your PJs all day and ignored every single task?
Find your wild.
Find your routine.
Allow both of them to form your security and stretch.
We all have a part of us that desires freedom and release.
We are all calmed by boundaries, rules and opportunities to find peace in the path.
We are all called to live a life that serves another.
We are all designed to self-nurture, re-energise and find a place of peace within.
The question is never what part belongs in my life today.
The question is what part of me has not found its place recently?
Do you spend so much time looking after others that you are unable to look after yourself?
Do you spend so much time caring for yourself that you are unable to look out for another?
They all can coexist.
They are often in competition with one another.
Sometimes little tweaks can make all the difference.
What is a little tweak you have made lately to help these two competing parts of us be friends?