Amanda Viviers

Posted on July 24, 2015July 30, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — 2 Comments

she faces her pain

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA — Shoalwater Bay, Western Australia

Honestly if I can get away with not feeling pain, I will go to great lengths to escape it.

My little lady had her immunisations today and I had to leave the room, I could not handle hearing her pain.

You see when I was a little girl I spent a lot of time in hospital sick, Needles, IV drips and doctors offices carry a resounding place of fear deep in the memories of my heart. I hate physical pain. The memories of the vulnerability still send shivers up my spine.

The thing about immunisations is though, they are designed to protect us from a whole heap more pain, if we get the diseases they are protecting us against.

A bit of pain now, to save a whole lot of sickness in the future.

I find that wisdom is like an immunisation for the soul.

When we seek it, it protects, guides and keeps us away from places that could possibly end in great danger for the future.

Wisdom is an intuitive knowledge, that helps us make decisions that stop us from going down paths, that will lead to unsafe places.

Despite the protective nature of wisdom we each have pain from past experiences that needs to be processed and let go of, to move brilliantly into our new chapters.

What about the pain that lingers deep in our souls, that we desperately try to keep submerged?

Just like this proverb 14: 13 talks about…

Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.

We each carry around wounds and deep memories of pain that sometimes is just too hard to face.

“The marks humans leave are too often scars.” John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

As hard as it is to face these places with care and in the right season, a woman of wisdom faces her pain.

She processes,

She asks for help,

She opens her heart to those who are safe,

She does not hide behind masks of confidence and pride, she finds a way to unpack the baggage that has tried so desperately to become her companion.

Proverbs 4: 20-22 encourages us to find ways to let go of the pain in our hearts and move forward into the future. Finding health for our whole being.

“My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.”

Proverb 3: 1-3 encourages us to reform and heal our hearts with words of life and promise.

“My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.”

Imagine if the health of our heart was a window into our soul. Just like this proverb describes, a tablet that our life is written upon.

Has pain kept your heart contained?

Is there deep conversations, that are waiting to be released?

Every one of us have seasons and dialogues of pain, the problem is not discovering or finding where the wound is. They often rear their little heads around every corner, the problem is finding safe and valuable ways to release them.

A woman of wisdom finds safe ways to face her pain.

She let’s the past go, she forgives and she releases.

My prayer across this whole month of writing has been that the time I am giving to researching the depths of life found in the book of proverbs would bring transformation.

The greatest gift we can give to our families is finding ways to let the past go and to live fully in our present.

Do you need to find a counsellor?

Is there a story inside your heart that you need to write and reframe?

Has forgiveness been slow to rise in your heart for a person who hurt you deeply?

Facing those places of pain with health and in the right season can be the greatest release into a new season of hope for you.

Let go of that which is holding you down my friend.

Step out into new and broader horizons.

To keep reading here is tomorrows post: she finds the rest she requires

Posted on July 23, 2015July 24, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — Leave a comment

she is a great friend

There is nothing like a good friend.

She is like a warm coat on a windy day, an easy pair of jeans when you have eaten a little too much or a big pair of gumboots when the weather has turned grey.

She is warm.

She is comfy.

She protects.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about friendship. Actually I think about friendship all the time, it is really important value that my husband and I hold dear, but lately I have been thinking about it more often than normal. The reason I have been thinking about it, is despite the shifts and changes in my season, I am determined to carry on being a good friend.

It takes effort to be a friend. To ring, to visit, to forgive, to hold lightly, to speak, to listen.

Charl and I were talking just yesterday in fact about something we want to do in the coming years and who we would want to do it with. It was a great conversation. We talked about who our closest friends were, we talked about who impacted us the most, who we respected.

We walked and talked for a good hour about friendship and how important it is to us.

How easy is it to lose sight of good friends?

It’s like our ship sails into a new season and our friends are kind of waiting on the shore doing their thing and we lose sight of them.

Some friendships and seasons change. In fact a lot do, but sometimes we need to make effort and priority to spend time with those people who are our comfy pair of jeans.

The ones that we could be at our very worst and they see us at our best. The ones whose voice we hear over the loud internal noise in our days. Wisdom is gained in company.

Proverbs 25: 11 says it this way;

Timely advice is lovely, like golden apples in a silver basket.

or this one from proverb 24: 26

An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship

Friends are the greatest gift in seasons of change and transition and we are never too old to make another friend.

The best way to make a friend is to start a conversation and to ask them out for coffee. The best way to keep a friend is to forgive an offence and be generous with your words and life. The best way to have many friends is to keep growing and moving, holding your words and their time preciously.

The wisest of women spend their life in company of many different women, of all different ages, opinions, experiences and religions.

Proverbs 13: 20 also says this;

He who walks with the wise grows wise.

Friendship is the greatest proving ground for wisdom.

In this age of online, quick, nasty, debating, quick to unfriend culture, let’s make sure that we hold our friends closely and listen to their hearts for the future.

Friendship is the greatest of gifts.

It enriches our days, sharpening our acceptance of difference and makes us much deeper humans.

Make friends with someone who is very different to you.

It will usher wisdom into your days.

Tomorrows post: She faces her pain

Posted on July 22, 2015July 24, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — Leave a comment

she seeks to learn…

My baby girl turned one today and she came so very close to taking her first steps to walk. One of the greatest lessons I have learnt from these last twelve months, is how much little people grow, learn and change in such a short space of time. The first three years of a child’s life are the most defining time of their whole human existence. The reason why, their brains, their emotions and their souls are developed by the measure of what they are exposed to.

Something I have been thinking about a lot though lately, is why do we stop growing and learning as adults. Maybe it has a little to do with what we spoke about yesterday, staying comfortable but in another I think it is because we loose the eyes to see new and wonderful adventures in the every day.

I remember a few years back, as I registered myself to study a Masters course in Leadership, I made a commitment that no matter my age, I was going to be ever learning.

I never want to think that I have arrived.

I never want to stop growing and I never want to be in an environment where I think I know more than every one in the room and through pride and arrogance stop having eyes to see.

I think this is one of the foundational calls of wisdom.

When we think we have arrived and cannot learn anything else in a situation, we immediately stop ourselves from the potential of the future.

A woman of wisdom is ever learning.

She accesses every environment thinking and saying “What is something I can learn today?”

She comes to every conversation listening with a heart that says “I can always learn something new, despite my knowledge”

A woman of wisdom is a serial absorber.

She reads scripture looking for insight, she watches people waiting for inspiration.

She lives open.

Open hearted.

Open spirited.

Awaiting the new.

Proverbs 24: 3 says this;

“A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables”

What a fabulous picture of our lives!

Are you open to new theories, new possibilities, new opportunities?

Have you stopped learning because you think you have arrived?

My friend, the call of wisdom is to be ever learning and this is why a twenty year old can be more mature than a fifty year old. This is why a thirty seven year old can possess more wisdom and knowledge than an eighty year old.

Our age does not equal our wisdom, our capacity to learn and grow does, no matter our past, no matter our environment and no matter our intellect.

This is what makes wisdom so utterly intriguing.

Tomorrows post: She is a great friend

Posted on July 21, 2015July 24, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — Leave a comment

She extends herself

Today has been one of the busiest days for me, speaking at an event, preparing for birthdays, fixing, helping, driving, cooking. The last thing I felt like doing was writing. This 31 day journey is a commitment I made and sometimes to follow through on the promises we make, is extremely important even when we are “fried!”

Often it’s in these very moments of extension, that our hearts and capacities are stretched. We are not designed to live in this red zone, but we are designed to reach, learn and give a little more than we think we can. It’s like our souls have an elasticity, that is strengthened in the stretch. We do need to allow ourselves to reform again, but without the stretch, we stay unfulfilled in our purpose. I believe these are the very days that define us.

Those days when we think we cannot run another five minutes but we do.

Those days when we speak in front of a crowd that once completely intimidated us.

Those days when we start writing that book that has laid dormant inside of us.

Our days of stretch.

Proverbs 31: 20 says this;

“She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy”

I absolutely love this verse. I love that it is an effort for her to make a difference and she extends her heart and hand in the process.

There are some of my other favourite scriptures that are not from proverbs but they inspire me none the less

Psalm 18:19

“He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”

And also this one;

Isaiah 54:2

“Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.”

There is something about these two encouragements from days of old, that encourage me to not give up in the days when things are difficult.

Just a few days ago I read this poem and it literally stopped me in met tracks;

“Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Francis Drake

Disturb us O Lord. How profound is this perspective?

One of the greatest thing that inhibits us living a life of purpose, is we seek comfort. We want to feel comfortable, we look for nurture, we seek to hide.

Even though in the right time and the right way all of these things can be an important part of self care and soul health, we will never live a life of purpose if we allow these things to define us.

There is something very valid in having intentional moments of stretch. When we do something we have never done before, when we give to something that is a stretch financially and personally. When we talk to someone and it takes effort. When we sacrifice and say no.

Growth and change are not comfortable.

Living a life of wisdom where we learn in that space of extension is the most defining of spaces.

When was the last time you felt uncomfortable?

When was the last time you did something that made you nervous?

When was the last time you felt growth pains?

This my friend is what it looks like to live a life of wisdom.

Tomorrows post is here: She is ever learning

Posted on July 20, 2015July 20, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — Leave a comment

She is centred

A few years ago, some of my closest friends and I began a little not for profit called Kinwomen. It is all about starting conversations that matter with women. We each are on the radio every day and it is syndicated across Australia and is playing also in New Zealand. We have ten writers, who write regularly on our blog and today it was my turn.

So I continued my proverbs series over there.

Here is today’s post:

She is Centred

Thanks so much for continuing on the journey with me, today marks Day 20, that we have been studying the proverbs and I have been enjoying the series so much and hearing all of your thoughts, comments and feedback.

Till tomorrow,

Author: Amanda Viviers