Author: Amanda Viviers

Do you spend hours mindlessly scrolling through social media?

Do you come out of spending time online feeling flat and uninspired?

I know how you feel.

It is so easy to do. A quick look here, a quick scroll there and then suddenly an hour has past and you are unsure what happened.

How many times a day do you check in on facebook?

How many times do you refresh a photo after it has been posted?

This whole social phenomenon has the capacity to help us check in with overseas friends, stay globally informed and inspired. Then the next minute furious, overwhelmed, confused and completely alone.

These are some of my coping strategies, to find inspiration in this online world and to withdraw again.

1) Make, make, make. The less I scroll, the less I stalk the more I feel satisfied and in control. Every time I start a new creative project like making the jacket out of a blanket like I did yesterday, I feel so inspired. Every time I spend the day randomly stalking other peoples lives I feel drained.

2) Unfollow people that cause you to stumble. Seriously just unfollow them. I don’t mean you should unfriend your aunty or someone close, I mean unfollow their updates from your feed. Be ruthless. Some seasons you like someones posts and another season they make you mad. Just click unfollow. Its okay. Lately I’ve been smiling when I have been unfollowed it kinda makes me laugh. It’s all good. You are still loved. The number of people engaging in your stuff does not equal its worth. (remember lots of people who have heaps of followers have probably paid for some of them at some point)

3) Play music, light a candle and write. Don’t think about what you are writing, just process. Let stuff go, think deeply, think creatively, think of good things. Write, write, write. Meditate. Think. Pray. It will give you so much more than a random stalk through some strangers life.

4) Learn something new. Look up something you have always wanted to learn and youtube it.

5) Read a novel. A beautiful, descriptive, piece of fiction. Get lost in someone else’s world, that is not a random status update on a blinking screen.

6) Go sit in nature.

7) Turn flight mode on.

8) Have a certain time of the day, everyday that is internet free. Before 10 am say. After 7pm. You find your weakest times and then shut the phone, iPad, computer down.

9) Call a friend and book a coffee.

10) Start commenting on blogs rather than social media. There is much more of an open environment for thoughtful discussion in the blog culture rather than face book per say. People troll through face book looking for attention and seeking to fight with people, rather than have mature discussions. Better still have a cup of tea and talk about what has been bothering or intriguing you with someone face to face. Pick up the phone and call rather than text.

One of the greatest ways I am learning to control this online world, rather than allowing it to control me is to MAKE.

Makers gonna make.

Whether it be banana bread, a blanket jacket, knitting, talking, hanging out or calling a dear friend I am making every effort to put down the phone and engage in my wonderful now.

I am of late feeling like something needs to change.

We can’t keep all going this way.

The threats, the fights, the miscommunication, the comparison, the jealousy, the gossip, the stalking, the mindless scrolling…

It is affecting us.

Every one of us.

Time to take back control.

Life is for living not screening.

 

 

 

One of my fondest memories of driving through rural Indonesia is seeing a large group of people washing their clothes in a river. I remember watching them as we drove slowly past and not feeling sorry for them, not placing them in a poverty box, I remember wanting to be in the river with them.

I was looking at them, laughing, bathing, throwing clothes around, immersed in nature, completely at peace.

No washing machine, no mansion, no worries.

Lately I have been thinking about how much noise loudly bangs from social media, even when the mute button is firmly on.

I see people parading, I see people performing, I see people creating imaginary lives, I see confusion, I see politics…

So much noise.

I have been reticent of late to write, because I have been so scared that I am just adding to that noise.

I am scared that I am creating a platform that creates a different perception to my everyday reality.

As I walk in nature though, I am stilled to see.

Nature helps me have eyes to see.

I have been looking.

I have been searching for quiet voices who are contributing to people’s lives instead of bashing their drum loudly.

I have been finding steady, quiet, voices, who may not have many followers or seem successful in a world full of filters but who are bringing an encouragement to life.

In the end we are all human.

Our response to the Gay Marriage Debate, or the family trying to return home from Syria after exposing their family to terrorism, or a lady breastfeeding on the front of a popular magazine shows more about how we view ourselves, than the details of the debate.

The way we respond to an issue in popular culture, brings up the deep ushering of our foundational beliefs in humankind.

What do I believe?

I believe ‘In the end we are all human.’ It doesn’t matter how many accolades, how many friends, how many opportunities, what we do, what we say, what we wear. In the end we all bleed the same blood. In the end we all go to sleep at night. In the end we all have one life to live.

William Shakespeare said this…

One touch of nature and we are all kin.

Whether it be an earthquake or the beauty of a roaring ocean, in the end we are all levelled by the power of that which is greater than us all.

All the parading, all the performing in the end will not matter.

What will matter is how we treated our kin.

What will matter is what we contributed to the universe collectively.

What will matter is the way we treated the least of these.

In the end we all bleed the same blood and the way we treat one another has the greatest of impact.

It makes me smile sometimes when I travel, no matter what part of the plane you sat in, you still have to line up in customs, you still have to queue for your luggage.

In the end you and I we are actually very similar, we are uniquely human.

And that my friend is why we need to have eyes to see.

See what we have in common, rather than all that which divides us.

 

I am not sure where you sit on the responsible meter, but I swing very much to the ‘Own it baby, if you see a problem fix it.’

Sometimes I am just so darn responsible, my son calls me a police man and we happily go about our day saving the world.

When I’m walking the beach in the bay, if I see a dog on a non- dog beach, it takes every part of my self control not to ask the owner to go down to the dog beach.

On these days my son calls me Ranger Mum.

I like rules.

I thrive with boundaries

but I also like messy, spontaneous and down right ridiculous.

It’s like I swing between moments of madness to ‘lets make everything neat and tidy, finding everything that needs a place’.

I am realising that the spontaneous, immature, child like me, is just as important as the mrs responsible that sits awaiting to be called upon.

The greatest tragedy I find, is people who don’t know how to swing between the sublime and the focussed.

There are great times when we need to be responsible and just get stuff sorted.

Then there are days where we need to throw caution to the wind and just be silly.

The brilliance is reading the social situation, the people, our intuition and learning to read the moment with strength.

Whether we should just stop being so responsible and be a little reckless or whether we need to buckle in and discipline ourselves saying yes to the opportunity that avails.

Sometimes we take ourselves way to seriously and stick to our routine far too rigidly and other times we don’t allow boundaries to bring good practice and peace into our everyday.

The art of finding balance in these imperative parts of our personal culture, is often creating space to reflect on the tone and tenure of our hearts.

I am passionate about prayer, not because I’m a religious person, but it brings out the best in my personality and helps me find my true essence.

This prayer from the book of Colossians makes me feel secure;

So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.

When I pray, I seek and I find what is my responsibility and what is not.

I find that I have a place, I have a purpose and often the responsibility is my Creator’s, not my own.

The greatest peace comes when I remind myself that one day we will be properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies and the ‘other worldness‘ that I feel will some day make sense.

C.S Lewis says it perfectly…

If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.

Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that the responsibility we feel to make a deep and lasting contribution to the earth is purposed.

But at the same time remember that we were designed to do it in partnership.

A walk of trust.

A walk of discipline.

A walk of sometimes just letting go and being carried knowing that in the end it all doesn’t matter.

A walk of lightness, love and deep rooted faith knowing it will be okay if I just do nothing and relax today.

You were designed to be responsible and make a big impact.

You were also designed to be a little wild, carefree and light.

Coming back to reality after a week down south and a beginning of the year full of special trips has been a little overwhelming.

Saying goodbye to Charls parents was really hard, living a life where grandparents live overseas is difficult but a journey many have to walk.

My little Libby has grown 8 teeth this month, 6 of which came in one week, so our sleep is broken and restless.

My little man Max has his four year old molars coming through even though he is only just over three.

Teething, Saying Goodbye, the cold winter air has just made me a little uninspired this week.

I am so grateful for the unbelievable experiences I get, but I’m also tired.

Can you be tired and happy, feel completely grateful and sad all in one morning?

I think so.

Seasons of grief and seasons of happiness often come all at the same time.

When you are desperately wanting something so bad that it grinds your soul and then someone close to you gets that very thing you are desperate for.

You are happy for them and the milestone that has developed in their life and at the same time you are deeply mourning the development of this same reality of not getting what you desire in your life.

Sometimes life is just hard work.

We can be happy and sad in one sentence.

We can be grateful but still disappointed at a loss at the same time.

A little thought that has been floating through my quiet time is this…

I am very rich.

Not financially (although if in comparison to the global picture in fact I am.)

Not in my possessions, with a mansion, cars not needing a service, boats and things.

Not because of the fashion that hangs in my cupboard.

I am rich because of the friends I hold dear, the experiences that make up my memories, the opportunities that keep on availing themselves.

I am rich.

And although this week has been a little grey and sad.

And although I have many friends going through desperate times.

We are rich, even though we may feel a little poor.

Perspective is a powerful thing my friend.

And sometimes life is just difficult. The best thing we can do is grow with it.

Stretch with it.

Make the season that tries to take us out, be the very one that defines us.

Keep moving forward.

Even when you feel like running away.

 

 

This morning as I walked the bay with my two little companions, I watched a very old man, take his dogs for a walk. He made my morning. He was quirky, he had his hat on backwards, he had a style that was telling anyone who noticed that he didn’t give a rip what anyone else thought of him.

He had embraced his unique and I assumed he is old enough to not to care at all.

You see the man who changed my morning was driving a bright red dingy boat, just a couple of metres off the shoreline, while his two dogs pounded the beach.

With a wave and a hello, I watched him trace the shore with his dogs in his boat, he was running his own race.

This short little encounter got me thinking how much we worry about what others think of us, especially in the arena of creativity and business.

A little idea, a lot of courage and as we put our ideas out there, we are so worried that we may stand on someone else’s toes.

We worry that someone might criticise, we worry that someone may not like, we worry that someone thinks we have copied their idea.

Lately I am becoming more aware of how important it is for me to run in my own lane.

Not to look to the left or the right.

Not to worry about what others think.

That I need to be true to the very essence of who I am and the passions I am developing in my life and stop caring so much about what others think.

What would you do if you weren’t so afraid of others?

What would you try if you didn’t cater to the crowd assessing?

What opportunity would you take up if you stopped worrying so much?

We will never get today back again and some seasons of our life we just need to look straight ahead, don’t look to the left or right and have a big fat go.

Do you want to be happier?

Then run your own race and stop worrying about what everyone else is thinks.