Amanda Viviers

Posted on August 11, 2015August 11, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — 6 Comments

when you’re tired of waiting.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA — The Grounds of Alexandria.

Last night I went to sleep with dreams of changing the world, this morning I woke with a vulnerability hangover the size of Uluru.

As much as I love to write, there are moments when the transparency catches up with me and I just wish somedays that my keyboard had run out of batteries.

I started this morning with a radio interview, realised I rushed off to Ballet without eating breakfast and the wheels started to fall off, as I was just so tired.

Living present in days of hiddenness can be so tiring.

As we wait, talk to ourselves, help others, convince hope to arise, the shadows of the familiar become ever confronting.

I have so many dreams in my heart of ways that I want to encourage stories in others, but the reality is, as I spoke with the breakfast radio host this morning about beautiful and wonderful things, I also saw that after changing a crazy explosion of my daughters nappy I had a toe dipped in goodness, fresh from her deposit.

That’s such a great metaphor for the dreams we are all pursuing.

Whenever we think we have arrived at a new, inspiring, destination; there is always a touch of reality to keep us grounded in the here and now.

I don’t despise my today and I know that I will look back at these days of novice motherhood, with nostalgia and fond smiles, but it can become so overwhelming, how we actually start to try and live the life that we have dreamed of.

Manuscripts, with mistakes.

Networking, without agenda.

Bank statements, that just don’t understand how hard you have worked.

Health challenges, that are unforgiving.

The in-between is a tiring place, waiting with grace and expectation, but so desperate to step forward with courage and determination. This afternoon I was adrenaline fatigued and exhausted so I took myself off for a long nap. I woke up with more insight and patience for my in-between.

I found this poem today and it really inspired me.

“You chose.
You chose.
You chose.

You chose to give away your love.
You chose to have a broken heart.
You chose to give up.
You chose to hang on.

You chose to react.
You chose to feel insecure.
You chose to feel anger.
You chose to fight back.
You chose to have hope.

You chose to be naïve.
You chose to ignore your intuition.
You chose to ignore advice.
You chose to look the other way.
You chose to not listen.
You chose to be stuck in the past.

You chose your perspective.
You chose to blame.
You chose to be right.
You chose your pride.
You chose your games.
You chose your ego.
You chose your paranoia.
You chose to compete.
You chose your enemies.
You chose your consequences.

You chose.
You chose.
You chose.
You chose.

However, you are not alone. Generations of women in your family have chosen. Women around the world have chosen. We all have chosen at one time in our lives. We stand behind you now screaming:

Choose to let go.
Choose dignity.
Choose to forgive yourself.
Choose to forgive others.
Choose to see your value.
Choose to show the world you’re not a victim.
Choose to make us proud.”
Shannon L. Alder

Even when you are tired in the waiting place, chose little steps that take you closer to that dream that haunts you.

Posted on August 10, 2015August 10, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — Leave a comment

finding who we are in the in-between

Waiting, wishing, thinking, hoping.

There is something so uncomfortable about the in-between.

A pause, an awkwardness or just an expectancy that taunts us.

No matter how wise and seasoned we are in the wait, the space between realisation and confirmation is a heavy one.

Have you walked a season of waiting well?

What season are you in at the moment?

Is there a pause, that is holding you breathless?

Are you confused?

Are you stuck?

Are you frustrated?

I understand the difficulty of this place of unknowing. The teeth that grit, the heart that holds its breath, the mind rolls the same scenario, over and over.

On the weekend, I spoke at a conference, full of creative brilliance and each hour that passed my nerves pulsed. I was asked back in February to speak at this event and pretty much within the week I knew that I wanted to speak on “the in-between”. I live quite an isolated creative walk however, so coming into the weekend, I was questioning whether I was truly on the right page of what was needed. I took the opportunity seriously and wanted so much to bring my best.

Then Saturday afternoon arrived with a last minute change to the program and a young man jumped on the stage to play a song soon to be released on his EP. He started to play the piano and introduced his song saying “my song is called the in-between“. In all the waiting, in all the hoping, I suddenly knew in a second that I was right where I was meant to be. With a massive smile on my face, only the pianist and I knew that this was a complete fluke and we had been truly set up by the Divine Interrupter.

He knows more than we know.

He cares more than we could ever feel.

He loves, so deeply that his detail can be seen in the most bizarre of moments.

As you step into places this month with me, asking questions of yourself about the waiting space, I pray that you would be amazed by details and stories, showing you are walking in step, seeking answers from the One who sees.

I am determined to keep sharing vulnerably, with authenticity this month as I explore the topic of waiting. I love what Brene Brown says about living our lives this way;

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”

As we share our stories and struggles this month, I am believing that shame will disappear and truth, encouragement and hope will be found in its midst.

If you are in an in-between space, you are very welcome here. I cannot wait to hear more of your story.

Thanks for starting this new journey with me as we all read together stories of waiting, hope, disappointment, confusion, expectancy and loss.

August may just be my favourite month of all.

Posted on July 31, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — 2 Comments

She trusts in something beyond herself

If you asked me “What is the greatest lesson I am learning in this season”, I would answer with one word only.

Trust.

It is quite simple to be trusted by people, you show up, be loyal, say what you mean and mean what you say. Integrity, Honesty, Authenticity; these are all traits that build trust in others.

Trusting something that you cannot see, touch or feel though, that is next level.

Wisdom says this though;

Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take.”
My immediate answer is how? what? who? and then I will slip another how? in there for good measure.
If you scaled me on the control freak scale, I could easily swing to the “I want to concrete plans down and drive slowly towards them” side. Lately however I have been seeking to walk more lightly and simply and my greatest lesson has been one of trust.
Wisdom is saying that sometimes we just don’t understand but we need to trust and seek.
How do you go in the trust stakes?
Do you always seek understanding rather than depending on another?
Are you so interested in control and safety that you don’t step out into the new, the scary or the sublime?
We often can be the greatest gate keepers to the realisation of our own futures. We stay captive in our own safe little worlds, like an elephant tied to a rope, that is fastened to nothing more than a wooden stake, because we have never known true freedom.
The greatest walk of freedom I have found personally, is the walk of trust into new and broader horizons.
I shake, I wobble but I step into places that only trust can lead me.
Are you questioning your purpose?
Are you stuck and needing to find release?
Do you struggle to even imagine what freedom could look like?
Then trusting something beyond yourself is the answer my friend.
It does not make sense, just as this scripture so aptly describes, but there is something so right in your soul when you contemplate it.
I am learning to stop thinking and to start leaping.
I am finding the more I loosen control, the more safe I am beginning to feel.
I am wanting to live a life that leaves a legacy for those following me and the best legacy I can leave is one of freedom and hope.

Proverbs over the last month have become our wisdom manual for living and I hope you have enjoyed the journey as much as I have personally writing them. However if a woman of wisdom only has knowlege and understanding but no trust, we will not live out the lessons that will lead us to new and brilliant places.

The very beginning of the book of Proverbs says this…

These are the wise sayings of Solomon, David’s son, Israel’s king—

Written down so we’ll know how to live well and right, to understand what life means and where it’s going;

A manual for living, for learning what’s right and just and fair;

To teach the inexperienced the ropes and give our young people a grasp on reality.

There’s something here also for seasoned men and women, still a thing or two for the experienced to learn—

Fresh wisdom to probe and penetrate, the rhymes and reasons of wise men and women.

Wisdom sneaks up and surprises us in all shapes and forms.

It is awaiting discovery,

It is calling us on its adventure,

It beckons us to live for more than ourselves.

Unless we trust in something beyond ourselves though, we can have all the insight and knowlege in the world but we will not find the missing key.

The part of us that was designed to take part in a divine, mesmerising story.

A story of hope.

A story of forgiveness.

A story about others.

A story of redemption.

A story so large that it encompasses us all.

A story that releases us into the reason why we are walking this planet.

A story, designed specifically for you to take part in.

We were created with purpose.

Wisdom plus trust plus hope thrusts us smack bang into the place where we were designed to thrive.

It is not an easy walk,

It is not a comfortable one,

but it is a life worth living.

One graced and etched in legacy.

Thanks for being a part of this journey, it has deeply moved me. How about you?

Posted on July 30, 2015July 30, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — Leave a comment

she hopes even when she has not much left.

Hope is a haunting word. It is defined as a longing or desire for something specific to happen.

The thing about hope, is we cannot hang our hat on the outcome. To all of those who are not walking its tightrope they may think it is utterly silly to desire something to happen, that is not very likely.

Then those who are hoping stay strong.

A woman of wisdom lives a life of hope.

She believes in something beyond herself.

She longs for a miracle, a change, new eyes and a perspective shift that is monumental.

She keeps on hoping, long after everyone else has given up.

Proverbs 23:18 says it so beautifully;

“You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed.”

Proverbs 24:14 encourages us to find wisdom and then our hope will not be cut off.

“Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.”

C. S Lewis writes the most profound words about hope…

“Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.”

There is something deep within us that longs.

We long for something more,

We long for things to change,

We are haunted by hope.

We struggle and wrestle, shuffle and stumble, hoping that something will give us a break.

When we have not much left, wisdom hopes for more, even when it doesn’t make sense.

What if that hope was to reach out for help from something beyond ourselves?

What if that sickness and disconnectedness we feel is because we are prolonging connection to the one that created desires in the first place?

Proverbs 13:12 says it this way…

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

What if the hope realised is reconnecting to the source of life?

Many times I have spoken on this verse, but I have always thought about it in terms of what I am wanting to get from God.

Rather than the essential hope we all need is reconnection and relationship with a source that is far beyond anything we could ever dream of.

Connection with Jesus changes everything.

Wisdom is fully realised and released when we are aligned with the greatest source of inspiration.

If your heart is heavy, if hope has made it sick, I have found in my life the greatest risk and the greatest reward has been the vulnerability that I share when I rely in something beyond myself.

The greatest hope our hearts can ever desire is a reconnection to the reason why we are here on this earth.

To be loved and to love in return.

Posted on July 29, 2015July 30, 2015 by Amanda Viviers — Leave a comment

she is honest

A little lie here, a slight exaggeration there, it is as if something changes in our souls when we spend our days covering up the truth.

I have always struggled with exaggerating. Whether it is the creative in me, the performer, the people pleaser or just the lover of life. One thing that marriage has forced me to confront is this area of my life. Over the last few years I have been trying so hard to keep things real.

Real simple,

Real honest,

Real open.

It is like the days that I tell untruths, everything in my world dulls a little. Lies make me feel unsteady and I walk away from a conversation feeling cloudy.

How about you?

There is nothing worse than that sinking feeling when we are in a conversation and we are pretty sure that we are not getting the whole story.

That same feeling happens when we are not completely honest, it’s like we detach something from our true selves.

Every time we lie, we create a different version of ourselves and we feel like we are living in a foreign body.

Every time we are vulnerable and face the truth, when we are honest, when we say it just how it is (no matter the reception), it is like we reconnect with our true selves.

Are you living a life that is not congruent to your truest self?

Do you struggle to say things just as they are out of fear of rejection?

Proverbs 12: 19 would say this to us both;

“Truth lasts; lies are here today, gone tomorrow.”

or this from Proverbs 21: 6

“Wealth created by a lying tongue is a vanishing mist and a deadly trap”

and this one from Proverbs 12:22

“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth.”
The more we lie, the more we leave out details that bring the full picture, when we are silent when we should actually speak, when we speak things about someone that are just not true, we discolour the beauty of the opportunity in our present.
Every time we fess up, every time we say it just how it is, every time we softly say no that’s not right, it is like a light shines from within and the colourful beauty in the moment is released.
Wisdom knows that honesty as difficult as it can be sometimes stops a whole lot of pain down the road.
Wisdom asks that we speak less and when we do to always speak in truth.
A woman of wisdom lives an honest life, even when it hurts.
She knows that every time she hides behind a lie, she is not only hurting those around her, but is building walls between living a fully authentic life.
We cannot be vulnerable and strong, we cannot live authentically and purposeful, if we are always trying to remember what version of ourselves we have told someone.
A liar may succeed in the beginning but eventually their true colours shine, business associates become distant, family and friends never know if the conversation that they are having is complete and in the end they are not trusted.
May we all be okay with weakness, may we all be okay with failure, may we all create cultures around us that celebrate honesty and authenticity. If we do not do this, we will find that people around us will start to lie, because none of us can ever live up to the measures of perfection.
Every time we get honest, it will have consequences but will always set us free.

Amanda’s quotes