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What about being surprised?


My son is a little late to the party but he has a major crush on Ana from Frozen.

Today Cate and I sat together and planned the final details of our upcoming retreat in just 14 days time. After dreaming and talking, thinking and problem solving, we sat to pray together.

A funny little side note though, is as soon as we started to pray, I could hear the background song of my son’s favourite all time tune of “let it go” blaring in the background.

The funniest part of this, is I struggle big time to let things go.

I work hard, I engage my heart and mind, I am a works kinda girl.

When we talk about surrender, it can be seen as a last resort, okay I am just letting go and whatever will be, will be.

Enter the serenity prayer…

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.

Surrender is not so much a dumping something on the ground, with our hands on our hips saying “I GIVE UP”.

It is a simple knowledge that greater plans can be executed when we hold our ideas a little more loosely.

Just recently I was talking about twenty sixteen to my friend Kelley from Kinwomen. We were talking about the potential of what next year could look like. Now I need to put in a little footnote here. My friend Kelley is just as much as a details/ control-ish kinda/ driven/ choleric personality as me. So the wisdom that came out of her mouth stopped me profoundly.

She said this;

“Amanda, what if we just let God surprise us!”

Yes, what if the answer is just allowing more surprises to come our way?

Yes, engage.

Yes, pursue truth and hope and wisdom.

But what if the song of Let it go, became an anthem in our current season and we became courageous warriors, who left the worrying and control to a greater power.

What if?

We allowed a little more surprise in our everyday life.

What could possibly come of it?

I think the art of surrender, is so much more than a dropping of the weight, it is a releasing the end of the story to the potential of being blown away by the limitless possibilities.

Frozen, you may be so addictive for our littles, because you actually are speaking truth into the atmosphere, that we just need to surrender a little more.

Till tomorrow, I’m seeking serenity and trying desperately to just let that stuff go.



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Finding trust in the most unlikely of places


Trust is something that continues to plague me week after week, month after month.

How do I possibly regain trust after it has been broken?

Reinhold Niebuhr’ s poetic prayer about serenity, continues to be the hallmark utterance of most AA meetings around the world daily.

Every time these brave souls gather, they speak out this prayer, releasing themselves and those in their circle from the shame that encases their addictions.

One of the hardest walks of an addict or an addicts family though is the tightrope of trust. It is okay to say that we have let the past go and find peace in the therapy of stepping into the new but what about trusting those who have broken our trust?

Every time that trust is given, it has the capacity to be broken again.

Living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;

accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

Lately I have been reflecting on what trust is. It is like a bank of privilege, when we show up, say what we said we would do, notice, help, speak truth, these all build up the privileges in the account of the beholder.

What about the times that we don’t?

What about when we lie?

When we don’t show up?

When we take something we shouldn’t?

When we gossip?

It’s just like we are addicts as well. Maybe not to drugs or alcohol, but maybe were addicted to people’s opinions, to buying more than our bank balance allows. Maybe were addicted to fame, our growing instagram accounts. Maybe were addicted to things, food, coffee.

It is like we take from that bank of privilege and there comes a day when the account is in arrears.

Trust is easily broken and it is difficult to regain.

That is the greatest challenge of being human. The brokenness of our vessels and our need for reformation. Our desire for someone to bring it all together and help us make sense of it all.

Our desire to find our way home, in the midst of the struggle.

Many people misunderstand my beliefs when I tell them that I am Christian, believing the cultural representations of my beliefs rather than the story of time after time, where I cannot deny the presence of Deity in my days.

Yes He may not be physically present, but I have had experience after experience, where the circumstances are far from coincidence.

If we sat together today drinking a glass of wine, I would not speak of rules, shame and religion. I would simply tell you stories of amazing grace and privilege that has marked my days. Stories of hope and restoration, of miracles and beauty. Stories scattered with someone who has every reason to be mistrusted but finds her head lifted again.

Lately I have been watching some amazing stories unfold in my life. Stories that I can only account to the bank of riches that have been stored up, by someone who sees beyond my today.

The same principle applies, I trust him because I have honestly seen His hand of presence in my days and doors open, people intersecting and understanding gained when I see the bigger picture of what is being woven together for good.

Reinhold Niebuhr’ s prayer relies upon trust built on a knowledge that all things will be made right, I am far from ashamed of my beliefs because I have seen it to be true in so many people’s lives.

I know that bad things happen and there is so much in our world we cannot change, but I truly believe there is someone ahead of us, reorienting and helping things come together for good.

It is all about surrender and letting go of control.

This is the hallmark of trust.

This is the higher calling.

There are many days that I question His orienteering skills, but I often smile at the outworking of a bigger plan when I trust and surrender.

Serenity is not a place of oasis, it is a wrestle to find our place in the bigger purpose.


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Praying those doors open.

beach, family, future

beach, family, future

Prayer is not really a popular topic these days, mostly because of the shame attached to people’s expectations of us. Something I find quite peculiar though is this, the one in Whom we are praying too, doesn’t ask for much more than a simple chat.

A lean of our heads.

A quietening of our minds.

A sneak peak into the unknown.

Prayer is all about communion, common union between the unseen and the seen, the known and the unknown and a humble stretch that says ” I do not know everything and need a little help.”

That is what prayer is, it is just a opening of ethereal doors into a new perspective.

Maybe that’s why it was created.

A space of trust.

A place of peace.

A realigning of purpose and perspective.

As I seek serenity in my days, one could think it is a settling down, a shrinking of a life lived sown, so that we can handle the task list, the people, the plans.

Lately I have been reminding myself that Serenity is allowing the Greater Plan, to become my plans. I have been reminded that my way is not the only way. I am learning to wait and see, that He is so good.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Today I am seeking wisdom in my walk towards the next in my life.

Wisdom to know how to accept things from the past I cannot change, wisdom to know what I can change and the courage to actually do something about it.

I see people stay in places of in-between, like a holding pattern of unknown, because they are unwilling to do the little things that will take them to the next place of knowing.

When I pray, I find wisdom.

When I wait, I find serenity.

When I gain perspective, I can see what needs to change and what I need to let go.

Prayer is the vehicle that carries me to these places.

Lately though my prayers have been really simple. They have consisted of very basic words.

“Not my will be done, but yours.”

“Open Doors, open doors.”

I’m not struggling and striving hoping someone will notice, I am waiting, hoping, trusting and knowing that He brings all things together for good.

I know that He sees.

What is it that you are hoping for in this season?

What doors are you praying would open?

Serenity would tell us, have the courage to let go of what has passed, the tenacity to say yes when the new comes into our present and the wisdom to know the difference. I made this little poster for a friend today and it got me thinking.

It’s all in his hands.

The rest of this place brings serenity and peace.

Vickie 2

Speak tomorrow