Poison: flat white
Favourite Things: connect group
Tonight we had our connect group. It’s a once a month dinner and chat with a group of friends.
We have committed to help one another grow in our relationship with one another and our spiritual walk.
Often I have been too busy in the last couple of years to make this type of environment a priority. Charl and I have decided that in this new season for us as a family though, that intentional growth is not just a priority it’s necessary.
I really don’t want to spend the first few years of Max’s life isolated and learning the lessons of motherhood alone.
We have started reading a book together and the first chapter is all about expectations and assumptions in relationships.
We found that together we all have different expectations and assumptions in relationships that come from our family, past and our own bias.
Do you often feel disappointed by friends?
Do you often feel let down by your spouse?
Do you have high expectations for yourself and therefore others?
I have realized lately that I historically have assumed a lot in my friendships especially those closest to me.
I assume that people will respond the way I expect them too.
Human nature is so different though. Every person is so different.
I assumed when I left my everyday work environment that I would stay in contact with all the people I worked with, I assumed that the changes in my everyday wouldn’t result in changes in my connection with people.
I assumed that my closest friends would always stay that way and that just as I made an effort to catch up and communicate with people, they would do the same with me…
But I assumed wrong.
In fact those assumptions were unrealistic because those relationships based around my work environment had to change.
I have been surprised though by friends who have exceeded my expectations by being consistent and reliable in a season of immense change.
Then of course my nearest and dearest friends even though we don’t see each other everyday have stayed near.
So what am I learning?
Not to assume so much in friendship, to hold people and seasons lightly and to trust God more than people because people are broken.
Maybe your expectations of people are too high, but maybe just maybe they are too low.
Managing our expectations and communicating them more appropriately will help us transition seasons better.