As a creative soul I sometimes struggle with the emotional toll producing creative endeavors have on me personally.
Listening to someone’s story, writing out of a deep place, designing something new or placing my thoughts out in the public sphere, reticent at the potential criticism.
Creativity can be tiring.
After a crazy busy month, I found myself fading at the beginning of this week, verging on the edge of exhaustion.
I found my frustration growing, I found my need for space looming and I realized actually the problem was that I was just very tired.
Back from Sydney I accepted another short term consulting contract, I spoke morning and evening this last weekend at a church and my produce level was exceeding my inspirational input one.
In the midst of my potential melt down on Monday however, I reflected with my husband about what helps me restore and recover in the midst of emptiness.
I realized in the past my recovery techniques have not always been healthy. Coffee, chocolate, rewards, arranging and controlling things, producing more creative items.
We together unpacked the good, the bad and the ugly of the breakdown and rebuilt the potential and beauty there.
I am grateful that in this season of my life I have time to unpack my ugly and allow it to sit and stare back at me.
In my former life I would have rushed from one event to another and allowed the frustration to fester.
There is beauty in the breakdown, yet we need to take time to acknowledge the emotions and place them in their right order accordingly.
Beauty in the breakdown.
I quite like that song.
Imagine if we let our ugly breathe and find its true place.
The world would be that much lighter.