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I have just come back from the most amazing time overseas. Travel with a toddler is never relaxing, but my curious adventurer alter ego has been quenched for now.

Bangkok was a curious mix of indulgence; with  beautiful massages, heartfelt connection; hanging out with people we have missed dearly and lots of challenge seeing the poverty and difficulty faced by those in the third world.

I was full of perspective and inspiration. I turned off my phone, I celebrated my loved ones, our dearest friends gathered around dinner tables and I was ready to come home.

The day before I left Bangkok, I found a tirade of messages from one of my closest friends that I needed to contact her urgently.

What unfolded shocked me deeply, as she told me that one of our closest friends had discovered a brain tumour.

Honestly the world stopped that morning in Bangkok. I felt completely torn that one of my closest friends was going through the hardest time of her life and here I was flitting around Asia, loving life.




I would be lying if I told you I had it all together. I arrived back to Perth and I honestly felt like I couldn’t breathe for a few days. I felt so overwhelmed for my dearest friend and I didn’t know how to express it in any way.

It was crap news.


Some would say I should have risen up in faith, but honestly I had no words to fill my discomfort.

There is a story in the Bible of a man named Job. His world had fallen apart, everything was crumbling. Death, decay, mistrust, brokenness. His life was torn apart.

One of the most alarming parts of the story of Job though, is the way some his friends reacted to the devastation of his life.

In a short sentence, they had way too much to say!

I don’t know if it is our own discomfort, or our love of cliche, but sometimes it is just okay to have nothing to say.

Sometimes it is okay, if you did nothing but breathe that day.

Somedays just suck and I think we try to escape the pain of that place of ashes and lament but it is unhealthy to do so.

Somedays we just need to breathe.

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words” (Romans 8:26).

20131111-130547.jpgBefore I left for Thailand, I bought this pillow above and I did not realise how important it would be in the season I was about to enter.

‘Breathe. Let go and remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.’ Oprah Winfrey

Life throws us crazy curve balls.

Somedays the best thing to do is lament with those who are broken.

Sometimes no words will ever fix the desperation of the situation.

Then a day comes where battle ensues, a day comes where words of mercy and comfort reign and a day comes where having a glass of wine and laughing is the best therapy ever.

But when lament and silence is required

Embrace it.



10 thoughts on “Breathe

  1. Beautiful Amanda – hugs xx

    1. Thanks Jodie for your support. Im so glad we met.

  2. Beautiful words Amanda. Prayers for your dear friend.

    1. Thanks tam. You are amazing. Although I don’t get to see you I appreciate your encouragement.

  3. We have a friend who has been diagnosed with a brain tumor in the last month as well.. 28, 2 kids, and this is exactly how I was feeling, and what I have done! Gorgeous Amanda xx

    1. Thanks lovely. I read the page you posted about your friend. Praying grace.

  4. Well expressed. Sometimes words get jumbled up as we try to express the emotions that swirl within us. Words can’t express the cries of our heart when faced with situations like this. There’s a catch in our throat as grief threatens to steal our breath. Our prayers are groans, yet we pray.

    1. Thanks elaine. your words are beautiful as well. Really looking forward to thanksgiving with you.


  5. Amanda I can’t even imagine how you much be feeling right now having walked through such heartache before in this area within your church life. I believe there are things you have learnt that you will draw on. And I also believe your creativity will bring a breath of fresh air to the atmosphere of the rooms you will sit with this friend and her family in… It is life giving in every way… So stay your creative best … Those around you are desperate for the healing it brings. And I will pray! Xxx

    1. Thanks so much. I so appreciate you. Crazy times but I know that God is faithful.

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