One of the hardest parts of being human, is allowing ourselves to feel.
I mean really feel.
It is easy to pull away, shut down and build up walls so we can’t be hurt ever again…
but what if we felt deeply?
What if we allowed ourselves to feel?
What if we faced the vulnerability of our weakness?
What if we admitted we weren’t perfect and we let someone safe in to those places of lack?
What if we were honest with ourselves?
Unless we admit our vulnerabilities, we cannot face them and bring strength to those areas.
I had an amazing counselling session once where I was so embarrassed and frustrated as a leader at the emotional highs and lows of my journey.
The counsellor wisely said ‘If you don’t experience those highs and lows then you are unable to express them through your creativity either. Life is full of highs and lows and authentic, brilliant creatives allow themselves to feel both…the problem is ‘how do you learn to process your emotions and live healthily with them as a leader?’
It is this thought that has stuck with me many years later.
I spent many years trying to push down and not feel my emotions but then they would come exploding out without any notice.
These days I am allowing myself the freedom to feel, but doing my best to bridle their power appropriately and finding the right spaces and people to express them.
Through prayer, through counsel, through learning to just be quiet, through music, through exercise, through fun…
Allowing myself to feel has been one of the biggest emancipations of my adult life.
The crazy thing is, when I was trying to shut down my emotions they came out anyway.
My pursuit of not feeling…always ended it crazy days of out of control emotions anyway.
As creative beings we were born to feel. Don’t be ashamed of the emotions that take over, find ways to process them and become more adept at expressing them in appropriate ways.