My Instagram feed at the moment is full of beach shots, icecreams and fishing spots but tomorrow the sun will be setting earlier, the brown leaves will be crunching our pavement and autumn will sneak across our small screens.
Before we even notice the season shifts but we are still acting as if it is still in full bloom. It’s awkward when people wear bikinis in the midst of winter but in summer no one even bats an eyelid.
Why don’t we have this same seasonal intelligence when it comes to friendship?
In 2014 one of my goals was to make some local friends. I have lots of close friends but in my local area I wanted some peeps who were close by, in my today.
A lot of my favourite friends are absent ones. They live over East, in New Zealand, in Perth, hours away from where I live. In my first year of novice motherhood I struggled to let go of the season that had past. Friends come and friends go, new people enter your days for particular seasons and some stay for years.
Releasing people to choose whether they are a part of your life for seasons or years is one of the greatest lessons I am learning. I believe the whole concept of a best friend for life is a Hollywood high school cultural false reality.
Do I believe in close friendships? of course.
Do I believe you can have besties for life? sometimes, but it takes a big and secure heart, to release people into new seasons and to love them just the same.
I have found some of my greatest friendships are the ones that I havn’t seen for a long time and we both act as though we have never been apart.
There is a freedom, there is an understanding, there is a deep comittment to the person and their now but a realisation that the season for being in each other’s pockets has changed.
A peace per say.
A release into the movement and shift of life’s ebbs and flows.
When a season transitions and major life change occurs we need to take a deep breath and allow the sand to settle. The person I am today is so different to the one I was four short years ago.
I used to spend every waking moment in an office, I drove a large distance to my work place. I didn’t have children, I was available. My friendships then were very different to those who are in my everyday world today.
It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate and love those who were in my everyday then, today it is just different. Nostalgia tells us that we need to place ourselves emotionally in it’s kingdom but moving forward and opening ourselves to change is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.
I have many precious friendships from seasons that have past, but if they are unable to be a part of my today in a mutually beneficial way it doesn’t change my love of them. I just let them go and some come back and others don’t. It doesn’t change the amazing experiences and memories we have had. It is just different.
Life moves, shifts and grows.
Are you willing to empower people to live gracefully in their new season?
Are you willing to hold friends loosely and if they move into new spaces be happy for them and love them just the same?
Are you willing to acknowledge your new season and make new friends accordingly?
These are some of my random musings this new year, not directed at any friendships in my current season but something I am learning across my days.
I want to love the ones I am with but also release people with freedom into their future.
What does your season look like today?
Do your friendships match it?