Photo by Meg Scerri Creative for Maximus and Liberty
“Far too many creative people have been taught to distrust pleasure and put their faith in struggle alone. Too many artists still believe that the anguish is the only authentic emotional experience.” Elizabeth Gilbert
We all have that friend.
The one when your text message alarm dings and you see their name before the message and your heart drops.
You know the one.
The latest drama, the unfair assumptions; enter our friend negative nelly.
If you have been reading along with my blog for a while, you would have realised that I am not ashamed, to be honest, open and vulnerable in this forum.
Especially lately I have felt like my blog has become that negative, overly sensitive friend. Each time I have sat down to write, I have dug up words from the deep recesses of my soul and just bled into my WordPress account.
The funny thing is, I have been needing a little writing kick up the butt for awhile, but I didn’t realise it would come in the form of Elizabeth Gilberts book Big Magic. I have been seeking to bring my light, rather than the parts of me that lean towards the grey or black.
I have been metaphorically telling myself to put my positive pants on. The problem is with positive pants is we believe that it is a place, where we are fake, distanced and safe within our walls of protection.
Trusting ourselves to feel positive emotions alongside our negative ones, is one of the greatest ways we can ride the highs and lows of the creative dance.
We can be honest and be happy.
We can be confused and be clear.
We can be satisfied and look for more.
I am learning that I can be both deeply filled with peace, at the same time asking the questions that baffle me.
The greatest trust that leads my creative walk is my relationship with the Creator God. He leads me back when I am unsure whether I can take anymore. He steadies my feet when I am walking the thin paths. He makes me smile in the midst of challenging seasons.
As a creative communicator, I am learning to not be afraid of the questions, the difficulties and the challenging seasons, but also not to trust the struggle as my muse, but to continually reach out to one who knows more than me.
As creative beings let’s not be defined by the suffering, the deep dark moments of contemplation but live lives that ride the tides with grace, mercy and truth, always seeking the higher path in the midst.
My book club question today reflects Elizabeths;
Does your creativity love you?
I am learning that I can feel a whole myriad of emotions in one day and when isolated one can feel overwhelming, but when I continually trust the higher path and the journey of discovery, they do not define me. They are just a part of my expressive flare.
Here’s a toast to a few more laughs around here sometime soon and continually seeking light.
3 thoughts on “her light”
The relationship with my creativity is like that with myself or others. ‘Do you really love me?’ I often ask my husband.
After 30 years the answer is still the same. ‘I love you more than ever.’
I ask myself, ‘do you love yourself?’
I ask my creativity, ‘do you love me?’
The answers depend on how I perceive myself at the time. How secure I am.
That old chestnut self-doubt stops is thinking that anyone can love us.
Great question Amanda. Thank you for the honesty yet again. ?
I love this. Thanks so much for always encouraging. XXOO
So interesting. I had a moment on the writer’s retreat. I was walking by the sea, and I noticed I was really happy. Somehow it seemed wrong to acknowledge that. As you are fond of saying we need to “feel all the feels”, both positive and negative.
I love the line “not trust struggle as my muse”. So important for me right now. I am going to spend some time looking for, noticing and cultivating the love in my creativity. As Elaine says above it’s like any long-term romance.
Fabulous post, Amanda xx