I would never have imagined that Motherhood would bring so much joy coupled with so much frustration. Every, single, day. I would never have imagined myself with a four and a half-year-old and be still spending most of my week as a stay at home Mum.
I had plans.
I had intentions.
and so much drive.
But here I am four and a half years later, spending the last two years with another little and I am finally finding small, simple things that bring me joy every day.
Like the fact that I can wear my pajamas till eleven am and pretend that they were my choice of fashion for the day. That I can write and think and make my own barista espresso from home, whilst blaring the music of my own choosing.
The smell of laundry in the dryer in winter fills the whole back half of my house and I am actually home to hear it ding like a microwave telling me that hot towels can be folded and breathed in deeply.
Those moments when friends drop by any hour of the day and the kettle is swiftly switched on and stories can last for hours. When my two-year-old walks herself off to the bedroom and decides it is now time for a sleep, and the way we walk on our tippy toes and not wake her.
When I open the curtains in my bedroom and notice the teenagers next door on holidays or the old lady across the road who is picked up by a bus that talks of the Uniting Church and its love of the elderly. To see the daily life of my neighbours, to actually see them is a moment that brings simple everyday joy.
Ice cream at two pm in the afternoon for no special reason just because.
Noticing a new leaf on my indoor ficus fig plant, essential oils filling my house with clarity and peace. Podcasts and live streaming of events that make me think, music players in every room.
My collection of records and the record player that now has its own space and little thoughts that wonder towards hosting our larger family Christmas finally in our home because it has more than a few rooms.
Novice Motherhood has many moments that overwhelm and frustrate me, but honestly, the simple, ordinary moments that breathe joy into my very soul can so easily be missed. Deep breathing, I can do this and they are seriously hilarious moments that are acknowledged bring sustainable joy.
We can so easily miss the beauty because we are so immersed in the messy uncertainty. I am learning to let go of my need to have it all worked out and to lean into the little victories and the unknown parts of it all.
There are simple, everyday, ordinary moments of joy, that we quickly dismiss because we are lost in the magnitude of the task. I promise if you stand in the laundry and breathe deeply in that moment if you allow an afternoon dance to become your delight if a walk to the park becomes a giant adventure. You will begin to laugh and dream again.
Moments of beauty.
Moments of much mess.
Moments of utter lostness.
Moments of isolation.
Moments of satisfaction.
Moments of comfort.
Moments of freedom.
Moments that will never be recovered ever again.
“Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples, and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.”William Martin