Category: 366 days of novice motherhood

Place: Perth international airport

Poison: water

Favourite things: too many! A boarding pass

The sickness in my house is being held at bay! We are on the up and up and are on our way to Indonesia for one of our closest friends weddings. The sickness plaguing us gave us every reason to pull the pin…

This three letter word, changes everything…

The word changes the whole context of our scripture reference.

But in everything!

But…the story changes, the plot unfolds, the fear is commanded to leave.

Mary was pregnant before being married but…

Herod commanded all children to be killed but…

Jesus saw the woman at the well but…

Jesus died on the Friday but…

The story of Christ changes how we handle fear in our everyday.

We can face all the things that confront us because He has gone before.

We can move through the hard times and come out the other side because he is stronger.

We can.

Tonight I am proof of the three little letters that change my context. Flying away without my husband, with a little man who is much better.

What part of your sentence needs a change in direction…

But changes everything…

See ya later peeps

A

Place: home

Poison: water

Favourite things: suitcases half packed

My little man is not well at all. Crazy times. Lots of crying which I’m not used to at all. Temperatures soaring. There are moments of bliss however when he’s asleep.

Then my next line of scripture says ‘do not be anxious for anything!’

No, today’s not the day I want to hear that.

I want the verse to say, ‘there are some days when a little bit of anxiousness cant hurt.’ or ‘anything but…(sick babies)’

However I come back and read this, in context and I am silenced.

A knowing trust of our God who is near. A piece of advice from a savior thats gone before.

Wisdom I ask today lord?

How do I be anxious for nothing?

His answer…

Trust me, dear child.

Trust.

A

Place: bed

Poison: hot chocolate

Favourite things: weekends

Today has been a crazy old day. My little man has come down with the flu I’ve been battling and he has been high maintenance all day.

Massive nappies, crazy coughs and unable to find a place of peace and rest. This is so different for us, because he is normally so chilled out. We fly overseas on Tuesday and therefore my worries had a field day late last night. What if? What now? What should we do?

In the midst of his coughs and splutters though, he would crack a smile and I melted like icecream.

The next part of the scripture we are looking at is so simple.

The lord is near.

Sometimes I am reminded of this reality and just like Max’s smiles, I melt. My heart softens and I remind myself I am not in this alone.

You see I walked the whole of my twenties single. A random date here or there, but truly spent that whole decade (and some) alone.

Through that season I learnt to see God in the little things and really became astutely aware of his ever presence.

How have I lost the awareness of his nearness?

How can I fret, when I am focused on his presence?

I think in someways I became a little complacent, in some ways I saw some friends go through really tough times and I questioned and somehow…somewhere along the road…I sort of forgot to remind myself of his nearness. I forgot he was the one in control not me.

Play the movie forward a few years and here I am in the middle of the night (that’s when I am filled with fear the most) and I have to remind myself again I am not alone. He has not forgotten me. He is near.

Omnipresent
Omnipotent
Everywhere

Where it is dark. Where it is uncomfortable. Where no one else wants to go.

He is already there.

He is near…

Selah (which means pause and think, ponder upon such things)

A

Place: at home

Poison: Pepsi max

Favourite things: a quiet space

After a big day yesterday, today has been really chilled. A friend swung by for a long, lazy visit and I find myself back in bed this afternoon as my boys hunt out things at the hardware shop.

The last twenty four hours have been much better in the fear stakes, no late night premonitions of tremblingly. Which is a start.

You see Im not overwhelmed and gripped with fear, it’s just little thoughts are creeping up and taking me by surprise since motherhood became my new profession.

Attacking problems with fervor is my normal operandi. I will attack problems until I find a solution. I will confront issues to bring about a resolution. I have no problem in confrontation.

However sometimes an aggressive all out missile approach is not the best and does not bring the result required. I am learning sometimes to just let offense go. I am learning that I can’t always please everyone and I am learning to conquer the anxiety that exists internally when everything is not rosy.

I have quite a few unresolved areas of my life at the moment. We have some big changes occurring in places we have no control over, I’m reflecting on whether I’ll go back to work or not, we have a silly conflict with a neighbor about some work done on our building and the list continues. Niggly things, that really do fill my heart with fear.

Mostly fear about people’s opinions of me.

What do I do?

The bible goes on to say in this passage.

‘Let your gentleness be evident to all’

Wow, approaching those places of vulnerability in our lives with gentleness.

A gentle word, a gentle response, a gentle shove, a gentle smile, a gentle cuddle…gentleness.

Gentleness is not seen as a key to success in our world.

Bold, brashful, camakazee warfare is promoted in a boot camp style of life reformation. Which in some instances does bring change, but how long lasting?

Gentleness.
Let
It
Be
Evident
To
All

Revolutionary.

I want to let my walls down and allow a gentle spirit to come out and play.

With my husband, family but mostly myself. Being kind to myself and my fears and allowing gentleness to reign.

Counter cultural

Maybe

A

Place: the car

Poison: Pepsi max

Favourite things: my connect group

One of my favourite chapters from scripture of all time Philippians 4, so I thought I would unpack it a bit over the next few days.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:4-9 NIV)

The first part of this scripture says rejoice!

Rejoice you’ve got to be kidding!

How do I rejoice, when my heart is shivering in fear?

How do I rejoice when my week is falling apart?

How do I rejoice when I am constantly confronted with confusion?

Yet the bible says rejoice.

Thanksgiving is one of the most amazing ways that God humbles us and draws us into communion with him.

Rejoicing when we don’t feel like it, rejoicing when times are tough, rejoice.

I think so many people believe God is a total killjoy! That he is a headmaster with a big stick, waiting to smack us all for our (shhhh sins).

The God I have come to know and love, is one who creates weird and wonderful creatures across the earth, most of which are humans. He delights in detail, he marvels in the mysterious, he hides in the expanse. God loves joy.

Just like I will do anything to get my little mans attention, I make funny voices, I follow his eyes, I call his name, I sing, I dance, all just to get a giggle. I’d sell anything for one of his smiles.

God is the same with us. Sometimes rejoicing just means a smile. A smile, a joke can change the whole tone of the intensity of a moment.

Fear finds it hard to thrive in the midst of stupidity. When we are crazy, laughing, crying, singing, dancing rejoicing, fear seems to take a back seat.

Sometimes we are just too serious and we need to take time to celebrate and rejoice.

Laugh a little, smile at the irony of your thoughts and take time to lighten the load.

Rejoice and again I say rejoice!

A