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Learning to handle your emotions from the inside out

    Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by emotions?

Sitting in a dark theatre this morning, at the Disney Pixar Perth Premiere of the movie ‘Inside Out’ I had a little ‘aha’ moment.

‘It truly is okay to feel and the connection between our processing of emotions and our childhood is so strong.’

The basic premise of the movie is to help children understand themselves from the inside out. Key characters of ‘Joy’, ‘Anger’, ‘Sadness’, ‘Disgust’ and ‘Fear’ kept me laughing, crying and sighing the whole movie through. (I am sure this movie must have been written by child psychologists because it was pure gold.)

As a huge advocate of imagination, my favourite character by far was Riley Andersons imaginary friend ‘Bing Bong.’ The ride through imagination land and the train of thought was a beautiful picture of the inner workings of our creative minds.

This movie is up there in my top five kids films, mainly because of its capacity to explain the complexity of our emotions and to teach our children it is okay to feel.

It is okay to feel sad,

It is okay to feel angry,

It is okay to feel joyful,

The life hack though is to find ways to transition between these emotions and create memories that facilitate them all.

Are you afraid of emotion?

Have you shut down beautiful, childlike responses because you fear others?

This film may just unlock something deeply moving in you, the capacity to make friends with the little people inside our minds. The perfect combination of movie for parents and kids together. My Maximus said it perfectly at the end of the film to his two little dates ‘Don’t worry if you feel sad, I feel sad sometimes too.’

And he is three. (Out of the mouth of babes.)

I am sure this one is going to play on repeat when it comes out on DVD.

Out in cinemas June 18.

Absolutely satisfied,

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seasons of hiddenness

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Lately I feel like hiding, not out of shame or brokenness, just because I feel like something deep is happening in my world and I don’t want to share it with anyone.

Have you ever had seasons like this?

Seasons where you just want to hide away and dwell in a safe place.

Seasons where you feel like playing hide and seek, but truly don’t want to be found.

I threw out a quick quote to a friend the other day, but as I spoke it I felt like words I have heard thousands of times before came alive in my heart once again.

“Do not despise the day of small beginnings.” Zechariah 4: 10

I have been saying to myself, do not despise these days of hiddenness. Long mornings covered in food, toys thrown around the floor, tantrums screaming. It is in this season of hiddenness that my character is being stretched, deepened and grown.

Seasons come and go, seasons change and when we are bold enough to dig deep and strengthen our character, the purpose for which we were designed shines through. Like a diamond in the rough.

“The greatest and most powerful revolutions often start very quietly, hidden in the shadows. Remember that.” Richelle Mead

These seasons help us to seek.

These times dig wells of resource that fill with water to sustain us in seasons of drought.

These places where we dwell, show our character and strength, to walk slowly through times where we are unsure of what tomorrow will bring.

“Every big castle was once started with a single block; despise no small beginnings. A little step taken every day builds up the hope of greater accomplishments. Do something every day!” Israelmore Ayivor

Our world celebrates a now culture but it does not commend character.

So often I watch someone declaring something they believe in yet their comments and actions reveal truly who they are.

I kind of think maybe they didn’t allow the hidden times to shape them.

Maybe they wanted to escape those moments.

Maybe they were given a spotlight that didn’t hold them accountable to their character.

Maybe they got impatient and didn’t feel the depth of the season that was forming them.

Purpose is built in quiet.

It is not given in the spotlight of applause.

I am not interested in success. I am motivated by contribution.

My life will not be measured by how many people clap and put me on a pedestal, my life is measured by character, obedience and accountability.

Whether I see this in my today or tomorrow, I am learning to love the secret place.

The seeking place.

A warm, sense of knowing that I am exactly where I am meant to be, learning about who I am becoming, shaped by hard decisions not opportunities.

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Be the hero not the victim

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Lately I am becoming more aware in my life when I am playing the victim card.

Today marks the beginning of June and once again I am marking a month to bring change into my days. From the first till the 31st of this month I am intentionally choosing to eat whole foods rather than filling my life with fuel that is full of preservatives, that have been over produced and manufactured.

I am eating whole, rich, natural foods;

Meat, vegetables, nuts, water, fruit for the month and eliminating dairy, carbohydrates and anything that is processed.

By no means have I walked into today thinking it is going to be easy. I am also attempting to run the city to surf again, which is in twelve weeks time.

Big goals for me personally that require focus and effort.

This morning I woke and had a glass of water with lemon before I substituted my flat white with a long black. I ate my eggs and bacon minus the toast and then went for a six kilometre walk.

All of this may sound terribly boring to you, but for me this is my greatest weakness. Every time I realign how I eat and exercise I fail.

Today as I started to walk, old tapes began to play in my head. Tapes that told me I would fail.

‘Why am I trying to do something again?’

‘This is stupid.’

‘Why bother.’

‘This is just your lot in life.’

‘You are no good at excercise.’

They bombarded me every step of the first twenty minutes of my walk.

Then they quietened and optimism started to take their place.

‘You have done this before and yes it is difficult but it is so worth it.’

Then a very quiet but certain voice said this…

‘Stop playing the victim and start playing the hero.’

I felt quite shocked at this statement but it got me thinking, how many times do I play the victim and blame everyone else for the present problems in my life?

No matter what area of change we are desperate to initiate, when we access the challenge from a place of being a victim rather than a hero in our own story we fail before we even begin.

So June 1, hello.

30 days of eating wholesome, nutritious food.

No fads, just a period of time to mark and set a goal to bring health and wellness into my everyday.

Starting to run again post pregnancy even if I only run for a few minutes at a time.

I am determined once again to play the hero in my own life not the victim.

I am not going to blame others for this area of weakness in my life, I am going to bring my best and try.

Thirty days really isn’t that long.

What area do you want change in?

Wanna be a superhero with me and no longer the victim?

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How to stop scrolling endlessly through social media

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Do you spend hours mindlessly scrolling through social media?

Do you come out of spending time online feeling flat and uninspired?

I know how you feel.

It is so easy to do. A quick look here, a quick scroll there and then suddenly an hour has past and you are unsure what happened.

How many times a day do you check in on facebook?

How many times do you refresh a photo after it has been posted?

This whole social phenomenon has the capacity to help us check in with overseas friends, stay globally informed and inspired. Then the next minute furious, overwhelmed, confused and completely alone.

These are some of my coping strategies, to find inspiration in this online world and to withdraw again.

1) Make, make, make. The less I scroll, the less I stalk the more I feel satisfied and in control. Every time I start a new creative project like making the jacket out of a blanket like I did yesterday, I feel so inspired. Every time I spend the day randomly stalking other peoples lives I feel drained.

2) Unfollow people that cause you to stumble. Seriously just unfollow them. I don’t mean you should unfriend your aunty or someone close, I mean unfollow their updates from your feed. Be ruthless. Some seasons you like someones posts and another season they make you mad. Just click unfollow. Its okay. Lately I’ve been smiling when I have been unfollowed it kinda makes me laugh. It’s all good. You are still loved. The number of people engaging in your stuff does not equal its worth. (remember lots of people who have heaps of followers have probably paid for some of them at some point)

3) Play music, light a candle and write. Don’t think about what you are writing, just process. Let stuff go, think deeply, think creatively, think of good things. Write, write, write. Meditate. Think. Pray. It will give you so much more than a random stalk through some strangers life.

4) Learn something new. Look up something you have always wanted to learn and youtube it.

5) Read a novel. A beautiful, descriptive, piece of fiction. Get lost in someone else’s world, that is not a random status update on a blinking screen.

6) Go sit in nature.

7) Turn flight mode on.

8) Have a certain time of the day, everyday that is internet free. Before 10 am say. After 7pm. You find your weakest times and then shut the phone, iPad, computer down.

9) Call a friend and book a coffee.

10) Start commenting on blogs rather than social media. There is much more of an open environment for thoughtful discussion in the blog culture rather than face book per say. People troll through face book looking for attention and seeking to fight with people, rather than have mature discussions. Better still have a cup of tea and talk about what has been bothering or intriguing you with someone face to face. Pick up the phone and call rather than text.

One of the greatest ways I am learning to control this online world, rather than allowing it to control me is to MAKE.

Makers gonna make.

Whether it be banana bread, a blanket jacket, knitting, talking, hanging out or calling a dear friend I am making every effort to put down the phone and engage in my wonderful now.

I am of late feeling like something needs to change.

We can’t keep all going this way.

The threats, the fights, the miscommunication, the comparison, the jealousy, the gossip, the stalking, the mindless scrolling…

It is affecting us.

Every one of us.

Time to take back control.

Life is for living not screening.

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In the end were all humans…

One of my fondest memories of driving through rural Indonesia is seeing a large group of people washing their clothes in a river. I remember watching them as we drove slowly past and not feeling sorry for them, not placing them in a poverty box, I remember wanting to be in the river with them.

I was looking at them, laughing, bathing, throwing clothes around, immersed in nature, completely at peace.

No washing machine, no mansion, no worries.

Lately I have been thinking about how much noise loudly bangs from social media, even when the mute button is firmly on.

I see people parading, I see people performing, I see people creating imaginary lives, I see confusion, I see politics…

So much noise.

I have been reticent of late to write, because I have been so scared that I am just adding to that noise.

I am scared that I am creating a platform that creates a different perception to my everyday reality.

As I walk in nature though, I am stilled to see.

Nature helps me have eyes to see.

I have been looking.

I have been searching for quiet voices who are contributing to people’s lives instead of bashing their drum loudly.

I have been finding steady, quiet, voices, who may not have many followers or seem successful in a world full of filters but who are bringing an encouragement to life.

In the end we are all human.

Our response to the Gay Marriage Debate, or the family trying to return home from Syria after exposing their family to terrorism, or a lady breastfeeding on the front of a popular magazine shows more about how we view ourselves, than the details of the debate.

The way we respond to an issue in popular culture, brings up the deep ushering of our foundational beliefs in humankind.

What do I believe?

I believe ‘In the end we are all human.’ It doesn’t matter how many accolades, how many friends, how many opportunities, what we do, what we say, what we wear. In the end we all bleed the same blood. In the end we all go to sleep at night. In the end we all have one life to live.

William Shakespeare said this…

One touch of nature and we are all kin.

Whether it be an earthquake or the beauty of a roaring ocean, in the end we are all levelled by the power of that which is greater than us all.

All the parading, all the performing in the end will not matter.

What will matter is how we treated our kin.

What will matter is what we contributed to the universe collectively.

What will matter is the way we treated the least of these.

In the end we all bleed the same blood and the way we treat one another has the greatest of impact.

It makes me smile sometimes when I travel, no matter what part of the plane you sat in, you still have to line up in customs, you still have to queue for your luggage.

In the end you and I we are actually very similar, we are uniquely human.

And that my friend is why we need to have eyes to see.

See what we have in common, rather than all that which divides us.

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