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Silence

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Late last night, just as the last Australia Day firework smoldered, I got a phone call that silenced me.

I didn’t cry, I didn’t shout, I just listened and stayed quiet.

My sister called to say she was with our 90year old Granma, waiting for the ambulance and as she had suffered a stroke.

Many texts later, late into the night, the doctors in fact confirmed she had endured a minor stroke at home by herself, whilst we were all celebrating and she was intensely scared.

Silence.

Her greatest consequential struggle was with her speech, the stroke had slurred and she was very upset.

You see my Grandma, is legally blind, yet still lives by herself so losing her speech as well was intensely distressing for her.

I have been silent most of today.

I spent the afternoon in hospital with her and joked she must have had too many Australia Day beers, but a soft chuckle ensued as she grappled with her words.

Gradually her coherency has come back slowly throughout the day, but there still is a slight impediment.

Silence.

Honestly so much that goes on in social media land, makes me so sad.

Sometimes people just need to gain some perspective and practice the spiritual discipline of silence.

I think we often have way too much to say.

I think we often have way too many opinions.

I think we just spew out our responses to the difficult things that hurt us and forget that some times we require silence to heal.

I love a scripture in Thessalonians which says ‘I make it my ambition to lead a quiet life.’

I don’t think a quiet life means an unresolved one.

I don’t think a quiet life means an unproductive one.

I just think it means a life that speaks with wisdom.

Proverbs also says about a Godly woman;

‘She smiles at the future, and ALWAYS has something worthwhile to say’.

Silence.

Sometimes in our life, when we are hurting, the best thing we can do is remain silent.

To bow in prayer,

To bow in humility,

Wait for an answer and forgiveness to appear,

Wait for wisdom to reign,

And until we can trust that God has it all under control, to stay silent.

It’s not until someone close by you finds their speech impeded that you realize starkly how often we waste our words on the trivial and miss the opportunity to speak life into our future.

Whether written or spoken, don’t you realize words have immense power?

Scripture says life and death are in the power of our tongue.

The beginning of the bible begins by God speaking the world into being.

I have so much more I want to say, but I must restrain myself.

Amanda

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Breathing in books

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Just a few days ago, my Aunty returned from her overseas holiday. She knocked on our front door with a little gift. A repurposed present, but a much loved one at the same time. She said ‘I’ve just finished reading this book and I thought you would really love it.’

A paperback.

A fictional story called ‘The prayer box.’

It’s not a revolutionary storyline, in fact the first few chapters were not that enticing, but something changed around page 103.

I got addicted.

I started to dream the plot line.

I found myself breathing in the story and its characters and soon I couldn’t put it down.

I’ve finished this little story now and I find myself missing the characters living on a little island, protecting that which is important and dreaming of better days.

What I adored about this little courtship over a few days, was holding a paper book in my hands.

Holding something tangible, folding its corners over like ears, eating its ink with my eyes and breathing in its touch with my fingertips.

Sublime.

My kindle and Ipad have a queue of books awaiting the flick that turns them on, however I am a little over the glare of the screen and I am most definitely over scrolling aimlessly through others thoughts.

I want to breathe in words again, how they were created.

Off to the library on tuesday for me.

Monday is a public holiday in Australia, otherwise monday morning would have been my friend.

Pick up some paper this long weekend and delight in its delicacy.

Love

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Learning to trust

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I spent part of my day today in cafés with friends. In moments of quiet whilst waiting for new friends to arrive I found myself thinking about trust.

Trust in God for his help in circumstance.

Trust in people and their parts in my future.

Trust in myself that I can learn to trust again.

Some of our thoughts become so overwhelming in the moment but honestly they are thoughts that won’t even make a difference in one years time.

We will forget the shallow words, we will forget the offense, we will forget the frustrations.

There are other thoughts like my series of thoughts today, that have the potential to change what my tomorrow looks like.

Thoughts of trust. When I trust again.

They change your tomorrow.

Thoughts of bravery, when I begin again.

Thoughts of surrender to God and trust his will and purpose in my life.

What fills your thoughts today?

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Thoughts that you won’t even remember in a years time?

Or decisions and thoughts that will change your future?

A

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Learning to love the weeds

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Somedays are so full of weeds you don’t even know where to start to pull them out and clear your mind.

Although weeds are messy and they are often unwanted. It’s those little niggly things that can make you stop and appreciate the flowers in your world.

Being grateful in times of growth and challenge has every potential to change the way you see your circumstance.

When you feel overwhelmed at a situation. You feel unheard, you feel misjudged, you feel put down, you feel misrepresented, those times where the weeds are exposed, have the potential to truly change your perspective on your everyday.

Grateful for the little things, the beautiful simple flowers that are unnoticed until times of challenge come.

Weeds are flowers too once you get to know them A.A. Milne

If you’ve had a hard day, don’t worry so have I, my day however has caused me to reflect on the beauty that is in my everyday life and take time to love the weeds, because they bring attention to that which is unattended.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Love

Amanda