Category: She is wise

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she leaves a legacy

Dolls, legacy

Dolls, legacy

One of the only toys that have made it into my adult life from my childhood is this set of russian nesting dolls. I remember one very normal morning, my Dad was leaving to catch a plane to work in Russia somewhere and as he left I whispered, “Dad can you buy me some Russian Nesting Dolls.”

My Dad is an extremely light traveller and he rolled his eyes.

When he arrived home a few weeks later he told me the tale of these little dolls. He was travelling on a train in rural Russia and a lady was walking the train selling her goods, which included this homemade Matryoshka Doll Set. My Dad said he immediately bought them, not worrying about the wood or customs, that they were perfect for his daughter.

The reason I love these dolls so much is they speak of generations of women, that we each hold inside of us. These dolls are always carved out of the same wood, so that they can stack inside one another, even when the wood, warps and breathes. Isn’t it amazing that wood breathes and every generation of doll inside one another breathes together.

Another beautiful part of the dolls, is that the smallest baby of the set is always made first. The wood artist, forms the youngest of the set, then every woman is shaped around her.

Every part of this tradition is steeped in legacy. The dolls are all about leaving a creative legacy for future generations.

A woman of wisdom is made of the same ilk

She is always thinking about the legacy she is leaving for those to come. Her daughters, daughter. Her sons, son. She is intentional in the way that she provides and protects her future generations in the ways that she deals in the present.

Wisdom asks that we let go of that which has hindered us and leave a legacy of hope for our coming generations

Proverb 31: 28 and 29 says it this way

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many women do noble things but you surpass them all.”

The reason why this writer says that she surpasses them all, is not because she is perfect or without fault.

She is brilliant, because she seeks wisdom and truth by living a life beyond herself.

One of the most difficult age groups I have ever worked with is teenagers. They are challenging because they are often overwhelmed and bombarded with emotions and disappointments. Often in my experiences, they are very angry and explosive when you ask them about their parents.

They may have the best clothes, they may be enrolled in the best schools and often they have every toy, technology or need overwhelmingly met. However most teenagers are angry, distant and struggle with their parents, because a legacy of communication has not been instilled in their household.

One of the wisest things that we can do as parents, is to deal with our internal noise appropriately, so that we are not labouring our children with its heaviness.

The result of lack of wisdom in our home environments

I often see two types of teenagers.

The ones whose parents tell them everything and they are overwhelmed at the intensity of the information or the ones whose parents hardly communicate at all with them and they are frustrated.

Legacy is often spoken about in terms of inheritance; how much money we leave behind for our children.

What if the legacy and inheritance was so much more than this?

What if our children walked into freedom in speech and emotional resilience, because we left a healthy legacy of communication as their gift?

I am determined to stop any generational cycles of emotional dysfunction that have been passed down. I want to teach my children to talk openly and to not keep secrets. I want my kids to know that they are always first in my attention. I don’t want them to ever feel like they have to fight with others to gain my attention.

The legacy that I am hoping they will inherit, is living a life knowing that they are known, loved and valued. Showing them that they are my absolute delight. At the same time I will show them the consequences of their actions and discipline them in times when it is required.

A life of wisdom, walked out year in, year out.

A life of legacy, that greatly impacts the coming generations.

A woman of wisdom looks beyond her little world and sees the people that are to come.

Her children called her blessed, they praise her, because she has sowed significantly into their lives.

Legacy is far more than money, imagine a generation of children who have a legacy of hope and wisdom to walk freely into.

To read the next post: She knows the power of her words

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she knows her worth

She knows her worth
She knows her worth
Womanhood and Wisdom

Writing is the weirdest of pursuits. We sit in a room by ourselves, opening up our lives and heart, to an audience we very rarely meet.

I have readers of my books and blogs all over the world, yet it is very rare that I get to see or hear the impact that my writing has on them.

The greatest part of writing this blog, is the emotional processing and the reminder as a Mum, that there is a life outside of the four walls of my lounge room. Each and every time someone emails me, writes a comment, forwards my writing on social media, I am amazed.

Not because I think I am worthy and should be promoted, but because in some way my musings about life and truth have impacted someone and we have intersected each others moments, often alone, somewhere remote, thinking about the same things.

One of the hardest parts about becoming a first time Mum, was letting go of my career and subsequently all the friends and colleagues I worked with. My optimistic self assumed that we would continue to hang out and do crazy things together, but seasons shift and so do people and I rarely see them any more. A quick wave at an event, a hug and ‘what are you up to now’ and a smile that says briefly ‘Gosh, your kids are cute’.

I had to do a major realignment of who and what I got my sense of worth from.

It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life and I have had some difficult seasons.

I realised quickly that I had got so much of my self esteem and sense of worth out of what I did, rather than who I was.

Enter the woman of wisdom.

Proverbs 31 calls her a virtuous woman.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth far  more than rubies.

Wisdom is far from revered in our social media crazed world. We praise beauty, we rate how many followers we have on instagram, we promote the woman with the most friends and the best resume. It would be rare in an interview for a promotion that the interviewee was asked

‘How wise do you think you are?’

‘How mature are you?’

‘Where do you get your worth and value from?’

The startling thing is though, when we dig deep and find our worth from our character, morals and strength rather than what other people say to us, we will contribute significantly to any circumstance we find ourselves in.

Proverbs 8:11
For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

How much do you value seasons of difficulty when they bring wisdom and character into your days?

Are you trying to escape seasons of anonymity in pursuit of the glamorous?

When our character is tested, when our lives are proved, we realise how truly valuable the very bland landscape of character, loyalty and truth can be.

When we grow we are shaped.

When we dig deep into places that many are not willing to go, we refine the precious jewels in our souls that make us shine in the darkest of situations.

I long to live a life that not only I am proud of but those closest to me are as well.

Proverbs 12:4
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

Every time I reassess my sense of self through the eyes of maturity, grace and character, I grow a little larger on the inside.

Every time I rate my self by people’s comments, the number of people who are following or my job description, my heart shrinks a lot.

At the moment the screen saver of my phone says this ‘The more I fill myself with truth and grace, the less I need validation from others.’

I am determined in this season to frame my sense of self by worthy pursuits, rather than things of the world that fade away.

How about you?

What shapes your sense of self and worth?

How valuable do you think you truly are?

Wisdom would say that you are deeply valued, in fact worth more than all of the most precious jewels in the whole world.

To keep reading my series Click here She leaves a legacy

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she is trusted by those closest to her…

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Trust is such a loaded word.

It is layered by memories filled with disappointment, unmet expectations and dysfunction.

Have you ever said I trust you, but really on the inside you are reeling?

Wisdom tells us that we are to live lives that produce trust in the relationships of those close by us, even when we feel like our trust has been broken.

Can you be serious wisdom?

Proverb 31: 11-12

Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

She brings him good not harm, all the days of her life.

One of the greatest gifts I have been given in the early days of marriage, is partnership with someone who always believes the best in me. My husband is a man of few words but he remains firmly planted in the moment and when he speaks it is always about a situation that is present rather than difficulty that has passed. I am learning that a life of wisdom is a consistent one.

A routine filled with similarity can bring with it boredom but a life full of hope, built on a foundation of wisdom produces trust. We call our family unit a team. Not because it is something that we heard someone cute say once and we wanted to copy, it is a deep commitment to each other that we are all playing together towards the end goal of living a deeply satisfying life of contribution.

When my husband is working long hours, he trusts and knows that the rest of his team is at home, safe and backing him in his pursuit of provision. When I am out speaking and mentoring people, I know that my little partners in creative crime are home safe and sound, living out the beauty of a messy life.

We work together to bring good. We are not in competition with one another. We listen, we care and we are deeply positive about the potential of what we can do when our hearts and values live aligned.

One of the greatest way that trust erodes, is a family that is constant in its attack of one another. Where words become weapons and no matter what happens the attack is quarrelsome and fierce.

Proverb 27: 15- 16

A quarrelsome wife is annoying as constant as dripping on a rainy day.

Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.

Have you ever tried to hold something of worth with greasy hands?

It is terrifying. That’s what it feels like to live a life with someone who is always on the defence. Someone who is attacking everything and without even knowing is trying desperately to pull down any sense of achievement in the family unit because competition, jealousy and emotional dysfunction in the unit is rife. Trust cannot be built in this environment.

Do you long for an environment of peace in your household?

What are your expectations doing to the atmosphere?

Is your internal peace destabilising the core of your team?

When you live your lives quarrelling, when there are always unmet expectations, trust cannot be built. If you long to live in an atmosphere where those closest to you can clearly say they trust you reciprocally, then maybe a little clean out of expectations and quarrels may be required in this season.

Trust is built, it is not given.

Click here for the next post in my series She knows her worth.

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she sees

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In the month of June I wrote at the top of my family calendar ‘Have eyes that see’. My Grandmother who is 93 years young, has pretty much lost her sight, so I know what it is like for someone really close to me to live with eyes that are compromised. A sense that we often take for granted, becomes truly life changing when it is lost.

The funny thing is wherever we go, my Grandma knows exactly where we are. She gives me directions, she tells me off for using my phone whilst driving, her sense of hearing, touch and taste are refined so well, that she is totally present.

My grandma see’s, but not too well with her physical eyes.

She perceives.

Sometimes to the point that she is scary.

The quote I wrote at the top of my family calendar hanging in our kitchen, had more to do with my perceiving as a woman of wisdom rather than what I was visually focusing on in my days.

I love this quote from Camille Pissaro;

Blessed are those who see beautiful things in humble places, where other people see nothing.

In my days of Novice Motherhood I am surrounded by many humble things. Moments when I try to wish away the tantrums and usher in better days. Wisdom is teaching me however, to find beauty in the messy moments, to laugh when all I want to do is cry, to look for other people who are struggling and to find blessing in my weakness.

Each and everyone of us have humble moments.

Bank balances that cause fear and trembling as the eftpos card is awaiting its acceptance,

Misunderstandings between family members that make us feel small,

Even winter in its weather, that stops us from reaching out from the walls of our homes that shut us out from our neighbours.

Humility

Isolation

Depression

Disappointments

I love the depth of this proverb

Proverbs 31: 20

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

This picture of a woman of wisdom is so open, fresh and inviting.

She doesn’t just throw money at those who are less fortunate to her, she throws wide open her whole self and extends her hands, practically to make a difference.

Not only do I want to live a life where I open my arms and hands to those who are financially hard shipped, I want to see those who are lonely, I want to find beauty for those who have lost their hope, I want to walk with people who are a little lost and looking for their home.

I truly want to see.

I don’t want to stand alongside the lady at the playground with my head in my phone.

I don’t want to stare off into the distance in the shopping queue, tapping my foot, asking the lady to hurry.

I don’t want to miss moments with my children, when they learn something new or are struggling.

I want to see.

How about you?

Are you so full with noise on the inside of your story, that you are unable to see another’s pain?

This my friend is the call of wisdom.

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Day nine click here: She is trusted by those closest to her…

 

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she sows

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Whether you believe that scripture is divine or not, the simple principle of sowing and reaping is obviously profound. We plant a seed; it grows a tree, we encourage a child; they believe they can do crazy things, we treat someone with respect; the favour is returned.

Sowing.

Reaping.

Simple; Wisdom.

What about those seasons of sowing however, that we feel like we are far from reaping?

What about the times when we feel like everything is going to pot and the flowers don’t seem to want to bloom?

Wisdom says keep sowing.

Keep on, keeping on.

Pull out the weeds, water the garden and keep going.

Proverbs Thirty one says it this way…

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

Not only is she sassy enough in a culture that women were supposedly housebound to go out and buy some property, she knew that the best way to reap a harvest from her resource was to plant a vineyard.

A vineyard that much wine would be produced from, in days to come. (And who says that God is a killjoy?) Then she sets about working hard, vigorously, strengthening her arms for the tasks ahead.

She worked hard.

She sowed sweat, blood and tears.

She went about doing good for the days that were to come.

When I hear people talk about the same issues in their life over and over, often my thought is this ‘You are reaping today, what you sowed yesterday.’ We cannot keep doing the same things over and over and then find ourselves complaining about the outcomes and the disappointments in our days. We need to make wise choices to sow great seed in this season, so that we can reap the benefit of what is to come.

What are you sowing today for tomorrow?

Are you sowing humility? or arrogance and pride?

Do you want to write a book? Then what are you writing today?

Do you want a brilliant business in the future? Then what are you doing today to build your profile, skills and opportunity?

Are you sowing a victim mentality saying it’s everyones else’s fault? or taking time to process what is happening in your days and what is your part in the scenario?

Are you sowing forgiveness? or are you sowing conflict?

We each sow many seeds into our today that will grow beautiful, leafy tree’s and then sometimes bad, off fruit in our tomorrow.

Wisdom says to plant great seeds of promise in our today and suddenly one day we will be walking through of forrest of greatness, so amazed at the great dreams that are coming into fruition and we will look back remembering the days when we made hard decisions and sacrificed, so we could reap tomorrow.

Proverbs 20:4

The sluggard does not plow after the autumn, So he begs during the harvest and has nothing.

Proverbs 10:5

He who gathers in summer is a son who acts wisely, But he who sleeps in harvest is a son who acts shamefully.

Proverbs 22:8

He who sows iniquity will reap vanity, And the rod of his fury will perish.

Proverbs 11:18

The wicked earns deceptive wages, But he who sows righteousness gets a true reward.

Wisdom sows,

and reaps great rewards.

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Day Eight Click here: She sees