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she finds focus

focus

Just this last Sunday, my husband and I were sitting in church and as I listened (intently, of course) he leaned over and whispered, “I think we have both become a little ADHD.”

I smiled, but I knew what he was referring too. We were both sitting listening to the sermon, flicking between instagram, facebook, smiling at a friend three rows away, checking the news on twitter and of course listening to the speaker (intently, of course). My husband is in the midst of launching a new not for profit business, on top of his full time job, I have my hands in a few big, juicy pies and we live distracted.

We want to work hard and live a life of contribution but at the same time we just don’t want to be those people who are a bit of everything, but masters of none. I know that women are supposed to be better multi-taskers but I am realising I can do a few things okay or I can truly focus and do one thing well.

Proverb 4: 25 Keep your eyes focused on what is right, and look straight ahead to what is good.

How focused do you feel at the moment?

What helps you to decide what you need to give your attention to?

“You can do two things at once, but you can’t focus effectively on two things at once.” Gary Keller

Wisdom calls us to focus on that which is in our hand and look intently at the opportunities in the future. To live a life of influence, it means we do stretch and we do give significantly and there are seasons of carrying responsibility intensely but there are times that we need to actively focus on the now.

We can spend all our time in our head in the future, we can spend all our energy on the past, but a woman of wisdom focusses on the days in front of her and peacefully leans into their potential.

If you are sitting at the dinner table with a  group of friends or family, put your phone away.

If you are in an auditorium listening to a speaker, lean in and put your distractions away.

If you are in a conversation with someone listen to them before you spend time planning on what your reply is.

Focus.

A woman of wisdom, learns to live focused.

Deep breath, this is the kind of person I want to become.

How about you?

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To read Day Three click here: She can do hard things

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she is kind

kind

 

Proverb Eighteen;

2 Fools care nothing for thoughtful discourse;
    all they do is run off at the mouth.

3 When wickedness arrives, shame’s not far behind;
    contempt for life is contemptible.

4 Many words rush along like rivers in flood,
    but deep wisdom flows up from artesian springs.

Social media and it’s online culture has been overwhelming me lately. To the point where I have considered carefully what I want to say and where I need to stay actively silent, not necessarily because I agree or disagree, but I refuse to debate in a forum that is so destructive.

Words.

They are so powerful.

The wisest women I know are measured by their words.

I am a verbal processor. I normally find my answers mid conversation or mid page of journalling. I process, I think, I debate, I discuss, I listen and I am enamoured with words.

Lately I have been learning however, the more I speak, the more I write, the more I am accountable to the weight of my words.

Whether we type them, speak them or text them, every word we form has power.

Do your words rush out like an out of control flooding river?

Or do they well up like an artisan spring filtered with layer upon layer of wisdom.

The more I see people shout from their keyboards, the more I wonder if they would say the same thing if they were seated on a platform in front of thousands. There is nothing like a crowd, a pulpit or a platform that helps us distill the depth and passion of our opinions.

How easy is it to debate online passionately, then when we see that person in flesh we shrink away with not much to say?

Kindness;

It is an ethical disposition, that asks us to place ourselves in the shoes of another before we act or speak.

What if kindness became the filter before we responded?

What if we were known by our words and how kind they were to another?

Kindness doesn’t mean we water down the truth, in fact the kindest thing we can do often is speak the truth, but filtered with wisdom.

I honestly don’t judge people by the percentage that we disagree on, but by the smaller percentage of what we do agree upon.

Proverb 31 is forming my devotional every day of July says this…

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.

My goal this July, is to measure my words by this filter of wisdom.

1) Is what I am saying worthwhile?

2) Am I being kind?

If only we all stopped before we spoke, I believe the world would be a much healthier place.

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To read Day Two click here: She Finds Focus

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Re-calibrating my annual goals with four simple questions.

  

June is closing and it marks the half way point to our year. 

Lately I have been like a big Mumma Bear who has fallen asleep. My babe has come through a big season of teething and I have been catching up on broken sleep in the winter sun.

As I have been knitting and been crafting away, I have been thinking deeply about my life and the goals I set at the beginning of this year. It doesn’t matter how big and hairy a goal is, or as simple as a daily goal to shift perspective, unless we take time to recalibrate, the busyness of the year takes over and we feel frustrated once again as our list remains unfulfilled.

One month of eating whole foods and I have dropped seven kilos, which was my big, audacious goal this year. I also sent my manuscript to an editor in London and am eagerly awaiting its return. I also sent my manuscript out to a group of single girls to give me feedback and I cant wait to rewrite parts of my book so I can bring my very best to this piece of work.

All of these little incremental changes are not very inspiring. Each kilo lost, hasn’t been instagram worthy or facebookable, but as they come together to bring change, the wins feel significant.

On Saturday, as my friend Penny spoke about Wellness and setting goals in all areas of our health, soul and body, I recalibrated those important decisions I made at the beginning of the year and wrote myself a little list of questions per goal, to help me move slowly towards change.

Here is what I wrote…

1) I wrote the goal, plain and clear. Unless we are able to clearly articulate where we need change, the change will never occur.

2) I wrote the why of that goal. What was it that motivated me at the beginning of 2015 to bring change to this area.

3) I wrote who was in my circle of influence that can help me with that goal. From accouontability, to doing it with me, to just plain old encouragement.

4) I wrote the obstacles in my way to achieving that goal.

As simple as these four questions are, they have recalibrated my inspiration to achieve the things I set out to achieve this year.

How about you?

What do you really want to change this year?

Did you write out my annual New Years Reflection Goals?  If so, why not pull them out and have a read and recalibrate what it is that you want to achieve this year. 

If not, why not print it out and do them for the 2015/ 16 financial year?

Then, why not answer these four questions about your goals?

Simple but profound.

I am soldiering on with my goals this year, how about you?

Amanda Viviers

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embrace the good, the bad and the wonderful about you.

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The last few days have been a sniffle fest at my abode, so I have locked my family away, with the heater on and chicken soup on the stove. My knitting needles have been clacking and pyjamas have become my home.

I have been playing around with Lisa Messengers Daring and Disruptive Playbook and a quote in the beginning of the book has captured my thoughts and attention.

Embrace the good, the bad and the wonderful that makes you, you.”

The reason why this quote arrested me, is that over on Kinwomen, our theme this month has been ‘Identity’ and after a very honest post over there, I have been in a vulnerability coma over here.

The truth is I know a lot about myself and I feel very sure about living a life of contribution and living beyond myself. The things I struggle with though, are those parts of me that just don’t make sense. The opposites that I wrestle with. Moments when I feel so sure and then a few days by myself and suddenly I’m not so sure anymore.

How about you?

Do you struggle to embrace those parts of yourself that don’t make sense?

Unfortunately when we ignore them and don’t make peace, they shout louder and louder, taking over our days anyway.

Every time we try to ignore the elephant in the room, it sneaks up and taps us on the shoulder and calls our bluff.

Making peace with our weird, is one of the hardest parts of being a creative.

Being okay with our normal is a huge part of being a woman and finding strength in who you really are.

As a writer, I spend a lot of time in my head, I think and think, I process and I process, then I come out the other side ready to try and explain what has been plaguing me.

Some days I am deep

Other days I am ridiculously shallow.

I am doing my best in this season to embrace the good, the bad and the wonderful in my inner being.

How about you?

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Embracing the stretch of your season.

These last few weeks I have been feeling an internal stretch.

Maybe it is the fact that I have been on a whole food journey and have cut out processed goods but I kind of think that there is something more than just this.

In fact, I feel like the realignment of ‘my food as fuel theme’ in my health world, has been shifting the clarity of my view for the next season.

It is funny that something as simple as cutting out sugar and junk, has brought clarity to a fog and a energy to stand strong moving towards our future as a family.

I was watching my son this morning playing at the park and I felt these words echoing around my head.

‘Embrace the stretch of the season.’

Embrace it.

I have realised often the stretch in the current season, grows our capacity for the opportunity in the next.

If we lean away and refuse the stretch, the weight of the next responsibility, the courage for the new and the grace for better days becomes so much harder.

As Autumn shifts to Winter, so does our seasons in life.

What is stretching you in this season?

Are you embracing the stretch or refusing it?

Are you allowing the season to grow you or shrink you?

Are you stuck in a season thats gone by and cannot find the grace in this one?

The stretch in my season, is telling myself no, when I want to say yes.

The stretch in my season is working hard, when all I want to do is lie on the couch and sleep.

The stretch in my season is to stop myself from talking bad about someone and believing the best.

The stretch in my season is to pick up my bible and read rather than watch Netflix.

The stretch in my season is to watch a podcast full of great perspective, help and truth, rather than watch the news.

The stretch in my season is to turn on some great music rather than have the news declaring calamity in the background of my morning.

The stretch in my season is to save money, rather than spend. Ready for the new that is coming.

The stretch in my season is to hang out with people who inspire and motivate me to be everything I can be rather than people who complain, moan and bitch.

This is some of my stretch.

Honest, vulnerable but essentially the truest part of me.

How about you?

What is your stretch and are you embracing it?

As we look out on the field of possibility for the new season in our days, what is holding you back from growing?

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