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screw neediness

Place: Home

Poison: flat white

Favourite Things: morning baby sleeps

I have no problem declaring there are days that I am needy. I want comfort, I want chocolate and I want sleep.

The early days of Max being on earth, the late stages of pregnancy, the season when I gave up my job. All needy, with a capital N.

There are seasons though when we all have to stand up and wave goodbye to Mrs Needy, and find inner strength to live beyond our emotions.

Emotions are the most beautiful gift from a highly engaged, creative, innovative, loving God. When we don’t feel, we become desensitised to colour, life, brilliance and beauty. Yet when our emotions overwhelm our capacity to endure we need to find help.

I am not referring to people who are going through seasons of diagnosed, debilitating depression. I have known friends and family who have struggled through the mud that debilitates the mind from depression.

I am referring to the rest of us, who yes, feel deeply and yes, need help, but neediness becomes our mantra.

These seasons are marked by guilt, whining, whinging, hanging onto the past, hanging onto mistakes, hanging onto friendships that have clearly moved on. You know those seasons where you suck the life out of everyone around you, desperately trying to come up for air.

Today I want to declare that neediness is not necessarily bad, but it needs to be compartmentalised in a season. You need to move on, you need to find new inspiration, you need to get professional help, you need to rely on God rather than people to gain your strength.

A friend who pulls others down to try and gain some sense of hierarchy is no friend at all.

A person who gossips and contains others with their words to try and get some sense of self worth for themselves is toxic.

Neediness has the capacity to kill relationships. Neediness has the ability to stunt the growth in marriage. Neediness can disable life and happiness.

Find strength in that which was created to carry your load. His name is Jesus.

Jesus, gives us strength when we no longer can find hope. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. Jesus brings light in the darkness.


Full Stop.

Not friends, not chocolate, not writing, not success, not your job, not your husband.


If you want to be needy, that place that attention on Christ, not on this world.

This world is broken, people will fail you, friends may help for a little while but they cannot bring sustenance to your soul.

Can you easily say…

It is well with my soul?

Can you shout…

It is well with my soul?

If not that’s okay, but a season of growth is required to move towards a place of wellness. A place of strength.

This strength can only be found in the one who was created to carry your burdens.

Just close your eyes right now, and contemplate Jesus, contemplate his goodness, his love, his mercy, his forgiveness, his compassion.

Make it your ambition to rely on him more and others less.

People will always fail you.

Jesus may confuse us sometimes with his timing and his ways, but he will never leave us or forsake us.

Screw neediness.



1 thought on “screw neediness

  1. Love the way you write, Amanda. Really enjoying your blogposts 🙂

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