Author: Amanda Viviers

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He is enough

piano
New Zealand

 

Have you ever known something, but even though you know it, like really know it, you still question it all the time?

A hesitant knowing.

I have known that I have needed to write this post for weeks. Weeks of musing, weeks of thinking, weeks of mind debating but I have a hard out heart-war to declare what I know to be true.

These coming words have not been flippant, quick cliches, that are rolling out of my keyboard without deep contemplation. These coming words have been an internal fight to turn into an external song.

Over the last couple of years (Okay maybe five years) I have really wrestled with the idea of prayer and healing. Not specifically prayer for healing, the concept of them separately.

I have questioned after many a series of calamity, whether prayer is actually as powerful as I have been lead to believe.

I have wrestled.

I have pleaded.

I have asked simply for revelation.

You see I have seen many answered prayers come to pass over this season of contemplation. It is not whether I have seen fruit from my faith. The problem is I have seen and watched many people at the same time pray with as much fervour and faith, without any answer.

I am hesitant to write, that I have often questioned whether God is enough.

Is He enough?

I really want Him to be, but so often I live a life that does not show this to be absolutely true. A life that wrestles with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, He just cannot hear all the time.

Maybe just maybe He skips some prayers and answers others.

Maybe just maybe He is playing a divine game of Russian Roulette.

Maybe.

Or Maybe not.

The haunting part of this state of questioning, is that I know. I know that I know, He is real. I know that I know, that I know, I have prayed and He answered so clearly that either I am a little loopy or He is a lot real.

I’ve seen people helped, I’ve seen miracles unfold, I’ve spoken words that are profoundly not my own, I have written passages that have come to pass, I have seen Him move.

I have heard His voice.

I have known that He is absolutely good.

The problem is often my perspective and often I have just seen many crazy things done in His name as well. These two things combined, has wearied my heart to trust that He is enough.

People and perspective have been my greatest let down but I layer this belief onto the sovereignty of His will.

My heavy heartedness from the way people have projected their questions onto His way, has grown and grown.

When people are experiencing devastating seasons of loss, the last thing they want to hear is that maybe God has another plan. When friends have waited and waited, prayed and fasted, yet their breakthrough has been slow to unveil, the last thing they need sprouted off to them is a quick witted cliche that makes the person saying it feel better about the awkwardness of the situation.

Every time we fake our response to someone and speak irrelevant, insensitive untruths to make ourselves feel somewhat more comfortable in the state of in-between for the person we are interacting with, we reinforce this unspoken question of whether He is enough.

He is enough.

I know He is.

He has shown me over and over again at the power of His presence.

The problem I have always battled with is changing my perspective on what enough looks like for me, this side of eternity.

My enough, is so different to His.

My version of solution is very shallow in comparison to His.

My answer to his tarried response is never with the insight of what is to come.

He is enough.

Even when we have come to the very end of our capacity to trust and hope.

He is enough.

I am certain of it.

Even though I question.

I know it to be true.

But he said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me.

2 Cor 12:9

As I step into this New Year, with the potential for amazing grace and heartfelt mercy, I am reminding myself once again that His power is made perfect in my weakness.

In the midst of my questioning, this wandering heart is leaning in to hear from his soft, gentle whisper.

Amongst my heart that heaves and groans awaiting his perspective, I can say without a shadow of a doubt He is enough.

Lord, change my perspective this year about what is enough in my world.

Help me see your ways above my own.

Amen.

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you have enough

Monday night dinners
Monday night dinners

This morning we woke slowly, ground coffee and walked thoughtfully through our morning routine. We fell onto the beach by nine and watch clouds roll past, chatting about nothing and everything in one breath. My two babes played on the sand and I floated softly in the ocean. Watching the sky change every minute with thoughts of fires, friends and what is truly important this year. If you had have asked me four weeks ago, I would have said, number one priority for twenty sixteen, to find our little team a bigger abode. Today that is the furtherest thing on my mind.

My mind quite emphatically has been reassuring my wandering heart, that we have enough. We have enough.

Enough room,

Enough toys,

Enough time,

Enough technology,

Enough towels, sheets, clothes, shoes, jewels, food, delicates.

We have enough.

How often are our days motivated by the culture of scarcity, rather than a culture of gratitude?

Do you rush hoping to fit more in, so that you can purchase the latest trinket?

Do you worry your kids will be rejected because they don’t have the outfit recommended by the most amount of likes on instagram?

Do you fret when walking into a social situation that you will be outed by your nineteen nineties hand bag?

We, those holding our iphones, ipads, macbooks, windows glittered technology we have enough.

Enough.

There is a big enough line, drawn across our hearts and unless we are determined in defining it we can live our days accumulating things rather than people.

We can spend our days ignoring people in our present, whilst stalking people from our past. We scroll through hidden advertisements masked as people’s social media curated life, thinking that unless we have more, unless our house presents a pretty picture, unless we are decorated in finery that we are not enough.

My friend you are indeed enough, if you swam naked today in a beach filled with onlookers you are not only enough, but I am sure that you also have enough.

I remember so fondly the year that I did not buy any new clothes. It was the most fantastic season of growth in my whole life. I redefined who I was outside of layers that covered my soul and I lived free of approval addiction.

So as we step into twenty sixteen and a pile of carefully culled decorations from our jam packed little shack sits in the corner and everything within me wants to hoard up that jar in case one day I may need it and I stare at my cupboard assuring myself that I indeed have many things that I could wear, I am declaring across my life and yours that we have enough. We have enough and everything we need to grow, mature, stretch and become is within our reach.

The scarcity that echoes in our hearts saying we need more to be happy, we must have more to be fulfilled is a big fat lie.

What if this year we prioritised people and experiences over possessions?

What if this year we used generosity as a growth strategy rather than an obligation?

What if we became a river that gave away our possessions, without the feeling that they may never come back, but a river that shared our life sacrificially with others not counting the cost, but revelling in the rebellion?

What if our instagram following was not the measure of our success, but the amount we secretly gave to empower another?

My friend we have enough.

Enough clothes,

Enough space,

Enough possessions,

Enough technology.

Snuggle those who are closest to you and don’t fall into the trap that another toy or gift will win over their love. Time, kindness, grace, forgiveness these are the kind of currency that the world is indeed in poverty from.

Faith, hope, believing the best, loving the unlovable, putting our devices away and loving the ones that we are with.

This year I am hoping to….

Make generosity my growth strategy

What about you?

Do you believe you have enough?

Because honestly someone, somewhere is praying for that which we don’t even notice is a answered prayer of ours from long ago.

What is your enough line?

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you are enough

The farm
Eagle Rest, Dwellingup

Each day awakens across our Earth with the same number of moments. There are families in this very moment savouring each and every breath as they wait and watch their loved one pass, there are Mothers today regretting times when they said something that fractured their family apart. There are wives sitting without husbands, counting the days, seconds and milli-moments, hoping they could rearrange and go back to a place when what was lost could be re found. There are men crying at the charred remains of their beloved homesteads.

Every moment across our Earth, people are succeeding, people are fading, people are burying and people are birthing.

We each have the same amount of moments, but we each spend these moments very differently.

The last month for us, has been a crazy ride of delight and devastation. From losing loved ones, to welcoming favourites from overseas. From opening presents, to New Years reflections. From the bushes of the outback of Western Australia, where scorpions landed on friends legs, to winding back lanes in New Zealand, foraging to celebrate the life of a dear friend.

Tonight as I sit here and write, the farm where this photo was taken just a few short days ago, is just one town from a raging bushfire. Life is increasingly fragile and the more we give in to the delicateness of its trust, the more we struggle with our capacity to move forward into new days.

As I have traversed the highs and lows, the long plane trips and the slow, telling forrest highways, I have had a little something raging in my heart of hearts. A few words that change absolutely everything.

These words are not just for me this New Year I suspect, I am thinking they are for you as well.

Words that have haunted me, because if I was absolutely down right, disgustingly honest. I did not achieve either of my goals for twenty fifteen. Both of them remain unfulfilled. With every valid excuse in the world, I just didn’t pull them off.

How about you?

What about your New Year?

Has it been quiet?

Has it been devastating?

Has it been uneventful?

What about quietly inspiring?

The words that have been whispering to me in the wake of such a unexpected and dramatic end to twenty fifteen are these simple three words.

You

Are

Enough.

You are enough my friend.

My dear friend Ruthee has taught me more in her passing, than any moment of intense conversation that we have shared together. That life is so short, it is a vapour, it passes through our hands, leaving joy and questions in its wake.

What stops us often from stepping forward into days of deep satisfaction, is we spend our days looking backwards and trying to make sense of our past mistakes.

This New Year the greatest gift you can give yourself is to be kind, forgiving and gracious to yourself more than others. By telling yourself you are enough.

You alone are enough

You have nothing to prove to anyone.

Maya Angelou

We stumble and we fall, we step over and around people and memories, we are impacted greatly by grief and unanswered questions but one of the greatest hurdles to living a deeply satisfied life is always carrying the burden of shame and not enough-ness. (I know it’s not a word, but I like it).

Not only are you enough, but those who are closest to you, your kids, your husband, your friends, they are enough.

Isaiah 41:10 reminds me of this…

Do not be afraid for I am with you.

Do not be discouraged, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you.

I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

In the wake of seasons that don’t make sense, when you are unsure if you can keep walking into a New Year, New Day, New Season, New Month, New…new…new..

Be kind and forgiving, take it slow and be soft with yourself.

You are enough.

Lower your expectations of yourself and just walk.

Walk slow, walk kind, walk…walk…walk.

And if you haven’t taken time to reflect this New Year yet, then it is not too late.

Ask questions.

Forgive yourself.

Let go.

Step over.

It is a new day and you are enough.

I had so many plans about how I would launch twenty sixteen, with new looks and new ideas, but honestly for today, this is enough.

Join me in tagging your creative pursuits or what inspires you this year with the hashtag #inspire16

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2016 New Year Questions

new year front cover

One of my favourite traditions at this time of the year to set aside a day to reflect, recalibrate and set intentions for the coming year. Last year I enjoyed it so much that I started doing this with people one on one as solo private retreats.

This is a ritual I have done for over a decade. When I go back over the questions that I have asked myself and my responses, I see patterns and insight. I see opportunities and passions that come alive. I take time to ask myself the why before the how. I take time to be intentional about what I am giving my life too.

My dream to become a writer and publish books started with these questions.

The businesses we now own began whilst I took time to reflect and challenge my status quo.

Travel plans unravelled as I sought greater days that were to come and to stretch for.

Humility was provoked as I reminded myself of the places that held weakness.

Strength came to my character as I have reminded myself of what is important over what seems to be urgent.

Inspiration has arisen out of seasons where I was not sure any good could have come from them.

It doesn’t take much to prioritise what is important in this season of new.

inkywords quotes and ad-4

Book in a date and time.

Print off the questions.

Find quiet and a place that inspires and write.

This year one of my favourite partners in creative crime Kym Basoka has painted original artwork to compliment my questions, to make this downloadable playbook even more inspiring. If you are looking for a personal original one off present this Christmas jump over and order yours today.

download your questions here…

Click this link for the playbook full of questions for free and if you live in Perth and would like to spend the day doing these questions with me click here to book a solo private retreat in for the beginning of 2016. If you would like a mindfulness colouring in page to start your day with click here to download this one for free.

Can you do me a favour?

If you have downloaded this for free, can you post about it somewhere on social media with the hashtag #inspire16 and invite your friends to join the reflection party?

Happy Nearly New Year,

I really do believe the best is yet to come.

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Taking Back Time

Crystalise
Raspberry Farm, Dwellingyup

Seasons have a way of marking us. Christmas can be daunting for some but haunting for others. Summer can be refreshing for thrill seekers and exhausting for the sick. Weddings can be exhilarating for lovers and painfully poignant for the lonely.

We regret,

We forget,

We pain,

We shallow breathe.

Life has these seasons where the fragility of life crystalizes and we find what is truly important and we groan deeply with regret wanting to take back time.

Last week we found out that the best man from our wedding, a dear friend, a thirty year old with such purpose passed away suddenly. Our week has been a rumble.

Questions,

Regret,

And moments of gratitude for what time and gifts we have been given.

Life is terribly fragile. I think we believe that we have years upon years to flesh out the dreams we tinker with, but life slips through our finger tips, escaping containment, never asking our permission to run freely.

This last week, my husband and I have been talking a lot about perspective. We have been talking a lot about grabbing life by it’s handles and smooshing our face right in it’s very core. We have been asking of each other to believe the best, to let go of that which doesn’t matter.

If there were any parts of our life windows that were a little smoky and unclear, this last week has crystalized what is very important in our world and we are leaning in to find the grace.

Family is important, even when we continually do things that frustrate and annoy each other.

Friends are full of purpose, even if seasons have shifted, marriages, babies and jobs have hurried seasons along, pick up the phone, text or write. You will never regret the small amount of time taken.

Find what you were made for. Everyone of us has been given a unique message to bring to the world. Everyone of us has a voice that is so deeply different to the next. Sing your song, bring your dance, bake your goods, design that building, speak that manifesto. You were designed. You were delicately put together to bring something strikingly brilliant. Your voice is awaiting discovery and expression.

Things will never satisfy you. Life is about so much more than accumulating things.

God is always available for a chat. Even when you think he’s not listening He is. God is always available and open for business, He is seeking you down and longing for relationship.

Sometimes the most aligning seasons are the ones that you never dreamed would come knocking.

So on the weekend a sign told us that we could come and pick raspberry’s off the vine and fill up a container from a orchard on the way home. Normally I would see the sign smile and keep on driving, ticking off my list of accomplishments that needed to be fulfilled. But this week has unsettled me in the most satisfying of ways.

I piled my one year old out and let her run the orchard.

I explained to my three year old, how berries were harvested.

We shoed away the flies, we let spiders run across our produce, we picked prickles out of our feet and we picked our own raspberries off the vine.

Life I am determined to suck out your marrow.

Life I will not miss moments with my children seeking greener pastures.

Life I will find you in your fragility and I will not take for granted the precious simplicity of my today.

Life you were created to live graciously, even in the seasons that do not make sense.

I will dance in my darkest, I will sing even when I have no voice left, I will write words when they refuse to surface and I will not take for granted the time I have been given.

Time can never be taken back, but we can take back control of how we use our time.

Every moment, every second, every breath is precious.

Snuggle someone close by, Let go of grievances that just don’t matter, Speak words very slowly with kindness.

You never know what tomorrow may bring.

Ps- I am going to be taking a break from technology for a couple of weeks, so until after Christmas things around here are going to be a little quiet. I wanna snuggle my kids without a phone in my hands and take some brain pictures creating memories rather than digital ones.

Merry Christmas and love the ones you’re with…

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