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Who has your back?

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IMG_1301.JPGAs we finished our barbecue dinner on the 31st of December, 2014 we realised the last sunset of the year was setting and we rushed down to the beach to immerse ourselves in the moment.

There is something so special about the turning of a New Year. I know it is just another day, just another sunset but there is something enticing about leaving something behind and saying hello to something new.

As I stood at the post office today lodging a passport application I realised it was the first day I have had to officially write 2015.

Twenty fifteen.

Two zero one five.

What could this year bring?

What opportunities await around the corner?

Whenever I have thought about the New Year, the words New Days = New Ways have been in the foreground of my dreaming landscape. I have been truly enamoured with leaving behind some bad habits and finding ways to explore lands I have never been in before. Old ways won’t lead to new paths. I know that if I do what I have always done, I will get the same results.

One of the greatest opportunities in the midst of a New Year and reflecting on what changes could be instigated is also reflecting on who will walk beside me in the journey of these goals.

I have found that I never achieve substantial change in my everyday if I am not accountable to a group of people who will support me in my endeavour.

A gang as such.

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People who have my back.

Over the last few days I have been sitting with people and hearing their dreams and desires for the coming year and one theme of reflection is in the area of people;

Friends.

Partners in crime.

Comrades in battle.

Those who will walk with you in your darkest and celebrate with you in those days of great success.

Those who aren’t threatened by you.

Those who include you.

Those who ask the hard questions somedays and on others ignore your moments of weird.

People who love people. In their awkward, in their vague moments, in their mistakes and quirks.

This coming year, don’t just reflect on what you hope this year may bring but who will walk with you towards the journey of that goal. Take time to ask those closest to you to hold you accountable to your dreams and desires and give permission so that they ask the hard questions when you seem to have lost your way a little.

There are people who are willing to do life with you. Sometimes they just look a little different than what we expect a good friend to look like. Take time to write about who your community is this coming year and find ways to grow and nurture it.

You are responsible.

I am responsible.

Friendship is nurtured and cared for. It is grown and encouraged. It is precious and vulnerable. It is often filled with unmet expectations and disappointment but it is still a very worthy pursuit in the breadth and depth of our year.

Twenty Fifteen Own it.

#inspire15

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comfort is my enemy

Comfort is my arch nemesis.

We were friends when we were younger, when I needed safety and comfort to protect and nurture my growing personality. As an adult though comfort has become my enemy and he will do everything in his power to stop me from achieving that which I long for.

My need for comfort always battles with my desire for change. I’m addicted to his snare.

I have two goals for this coming year;

One: to loose my baby weight.

Two: to get my latest manuscript published.

The only thing that will stop me from achieving these things is my need for comfort. My addiction to my old friend.

Comfort says; ‘Stay on the couch with me, watch a movie.’

My goals say; ‘Go for a walk, turn the TV off, write, email, hustle, hustle.’

comfort 2Comfort says; ‘Stay in bed where it is warm, safe and predictable.

My goals say; ‘Get up early, start the day well, use any time you have to chip away at the mountain of tasks.’

Comfort says; ‘Just have a bowl of ice-cream it wont hurt… don’t email that publisher because they might think you’re harassing them.’

My goals say; ‘Make small wise choices, be bold and courageous, start living the life you have dreamed of living.’

This year I am waging war on comfort.

comfort

He is no longer welcome in my house.

Change will never occur if I am always seeking to stay in comforts zone.

What is your arch nemesis for change in 2015?

Speak soon

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finding space

spaceA new year beckons, a new season awaits and I find myself saying these words over and over, slightly confused because I know they are not an accurate reflection of what I am wanting to communicate.

‘I just never get any time to myself.’

In reality I do.

Why do I feel crowded in and unable to find space. Yes we live in a tiny apartment with four humans, yes we surround ourselves with people and lots of pretty things.

I seriously love my life!

In moments of frustration and exhaustion though, my wandering soul is seeking inspiration. I crave truth and perspective. I feel starved for fresh words and moments of awakening in the everydayness of novice motherhood.

In the early hours of this morning, as my little baby cried out for help somewhere between 3am and 4am, a big pile of clothes tumbled out of my cupboard and I felt my shoulders lift, exasperated.

I realised what the ‘time to myself’ thread is communicating.

I

need

space.

I don’t want space from my husband or children.

I don’t want space from our visiting friends because I am unhappy.

I don’t even crave another wardrobe or storage container (as much as this would be amazing)

As a mum of two small children, as a writer, as a communicator, as a listener, as a friend, as a pursuer of truth, I need space to breathe.

I want space to think clearly, without interruptions to recalibrate the year.

The funny thing is, we often blame others for our lack of space.

‘Why won’t you give me space?’

‘My house is overflowing I need more space or maybe more storage?’

‘If I could just find more space in my calendar all my problems would disappear?’

I have found the space is available, but we are the ones who need to find it.

We are so often our own worst enemies in the dialogue of space. We fill our calendars, we buy more stuff, we say no when an offer to look after our kids is offered. We are the ones who block the road towards finding space.

We can’t keep blaming others for this lack of space, we need to clear a path for what we are looking for.

Wide open spaces are available, even when you are surrounded by family and friends.

Space is awaiting discovery, we just need to ask for what we are looking for and make it happen.

This new year season, I am clearing a few hours, to contemplate these questions so that I can walk into this new year with perspective.

Would you like to join me?

Click on the link and Download the questions, print them and take some time for yourself this January.

Let’s find some space together and make great decisions towards change in 2015.

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presence

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I am learning the power of presentness lately.

What it means to be truly present.

I have been reading Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford and this one page really impacted me when I read it today

Today let me appreciate.

I fail to appreciate the feeling of her small body in footy pyjamas until she suddenly outgrows them and declares ‘I want regular ones; ones that don’t have feet.’

Today let me appreciate the perfect size and shape she is right now, today, in this moment…

Today let me appreciate this child.

I fail to appreciate those odd mannerisms that drive me crazy until we are separated for a time, and suddenly I long to hear one of those silly quirks. Today let me appreciate the gum chewing, the knuckle cracking, and even the humming, because when I hear these things I know I am in the company of my love.

Today let me appreciate my husband.

I fail to appreciate the richness of my life until I walk down the busy street and see sadness in the fringes, those empty hands, empty eyes, and empty souls.

Today let me appreciate the fact that I have known love in my life and let me share it with one who has not.

Today let me appreciate the value of spreading kindness.

I fail to appreciate the wrinkles, the bulges and the sags until I reflect on all that I have endured to be where I am today.

Today let me appreciate each beautiful memory of my life that is etched across my face and body.

Today let me appreciate the positive value of growing older.

Today let me appreciate the sun, even when it is behind the clouds.

Today let me appreciate the goodbyes, even if it is not our last.

Today let me appreciate the goodness, even if I have to dig a little to find it.

Today let me appreciate the gifts in the mundane, ordinary moments that are graciously given to me. Because even though they’re far from perfect and sometimes they are messy and hard…these are the moments that make up a lifetime.

And for this anything but small miracle that is my life. I am thankful.

Page 85/86 from Hands Free Mama.

This page all about living in the moment and being grateful for small mercies changed me today.

What have you read today that impacted you?

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the last time I cried.

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On Saturday evening just gone, I sat in a dark room with hundreds of people and cried. Tears dripped down my face and I relived my childhood.

The lights were turned low, the crowd was hushed and music captivated hearts, the curtain rose and I took a big breath. It wasn’t until the little ballerina’s tripped across the stage, that the tears started to flow. Bright coloured tutu’s took my creative heart back to those many years and many concerts and those costumes I adored.

You see, I grew up falling asleep under theatre seats. Every Thursday night and Sunday night, we had rehearsals with our local theatre company. My mum was an amazing actor and I had my first audition for a musical theatre show, when I was 5 years old. Most years we would be involved in two to three productions a year.

Make up, lights, costumes and hairspray.

Scripts, high heels, accents and stage managers.

One of my most vivid memories from my childhood was the night we were wearing our costumes home in the car after being in a performance of ‘Annie’. Suddenly with a splatter and cough, our old combi van broke down. We had no choice but to get out and walk, we had school the next day. So there we were dressed as orphans and our mum Mrs Hannigan, walking along one of the main roads of our seaside town. I can remember the toots of the horns and the flashes of the lights like it was yesterday.

What an adventure.

What a story to tell the kids the next day at school.

I was so cool.

Who had time for 7pm bedtime stories, we were living our dreams out on a stage with vivid colours, lights, with singing and dancing.

We grew up without a Tizzie Hall sleep routine, we grew up without an iPad or computer in our hand, we grew up exploring countries and customs as we pretended to be characters from their foreign lands.

It is because of the way that I experienced life as a child that I am so passionate about creativity now as an adult.

There is something profoundly rich about a childhood full of colour, life and brave moments on a stage. I cannot wait to see my son perform in his first dance concert, in the city at the convention centre this weekend. A memory of self-worth, confidence and achievement, I hope as a two-year old he will never forget.

A rich childhood, full of memories of life, colour and creativity. This is my dream for him. That he would find what he is good at and express it extravagantly.

How about you?

When was the last time you cried?

Happy tears or sad ones?

And what memory did they bring to the surface?

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