Category: 366 days of novice motherhood

Place: bed

Poison: water

Favourite things: my pjs

I now understand why sleep deprivation is a torture tool in war. Trying to teach Max to sleep without his swaddle is pure torture. (and I know he is actually a really chilled out dude, in comparison to other babies)

5 months of being a milk machine on tap, 5 months today of sleep in snippets no longer than a few hours long, 5 months of being unsure whether I have actually showered today being a valid question and 5 months I’m in love.

Max is definitely teething, he is trying to work out how to sleep unwrapped and he is trying our patience.

I am so in awe of mums with more than one child. Mums who work full time. Mums in general. You are warriors! You are marathon experts. You are unbelievably amazing. I am in awe.

If you know a mum today, encourage them. If you know a single mum, buy her flowers. What legends.

I feel far from legendary this evening when I realised I hadn’t showered for two days and with an offer from my mum to babysit so we could go on a date I chose my pjs.

My breasts feel like punching bags, my eyelids feel like lead, my head is swirling with advice, yet I still have a little smile on my face.

He is five months. Where did it go? Five months of writing everyday despite having a newborn! Five months of producing something that makes sense. Five months of making dinner for my family. Five months of pure unadulterated joy.

Woah!

I am still wearing my maternity jeans and my pre-pregnant ones make it only half way up my thighs but I am okay.

I have put makeup on less than a dozen times since Max has been hanging around but I am okay.

I put on a new top today that I wore for fifteen minutes before spew saturated it completely but I am okay.

I have whole new levels of multitasking capacity, especially as I sat at the car servicing department this morning at 8am in 2 degree temperatures.

Life as I know it will never be the same.

Just as it should.

We are okay.

How about you?

Love you all mummy’s!!!

Gee, I can’t believe how much washing a 5 month old produces…

(we’re still okay!)

Ps- whoever said that breastfeeding is an amazing, bonding, life changing, delightful experience; they lied! It bloody hurts…

A

As a new mum, it’s so easy to make our son the focus of our relationship. So I did some research and reminded myself with 101 things to do with my man!

Bike ride
Cook together
Go to the gym together
Playing scrabble on our IPads
Ban Facebook in bed
Plant a herb garden
Go see a play at a local theatre
Paint a room in your house that you’ve been meaning to re-do
Shopping for something new for you and for him
Monopoly
Find a local vineyard
Long walk along the beach
Picnic at the park; find the best ones locally
Wii or Xbox
A game of tennis
Put together a puzzle
Read a book together – discussing chapters
Sit outside and watch the sunset
Cooking class together
Head to a coffeeshop and chill out
Day trip to a special location nearby – the hills, down south, Fremantle.
Find a band you both like and see if they’re playing anytime soon or nearby. If not, head to a local bar who plays music.
Cafe crawl
Restaurant progressive dinner, entree one place, main next, dessert next one.
Ice/roller skating
Basketball game together – On beach Waikiki
Check out a local brewery
Bowling
House hunting online or by foot
Head to the zoo (you don’t always have to be with the kids!)
Fishing
Canoe ride
Paddle boarding
Roller blading
BBQ on the beach
Learn how to play Call of Duty on XBOX
Couple massages
Run a 5K, 10K, 1/2 marathon, marathon together
Volunteer together somewhere special
Create videos together
Whale watching
Mini golfing
Real golf at the park
Head to the beach and collect sea glass or shells
Recreate your very first date
Dance in the kitchen when the kids are in bed
Head to a market
Sit by the fire
Go camping
Learn to play an instrument together
Play frisbee
Redo your bedroom together – new sheets, new arrangement of furniture, hang photos, etc
When it’s raining, run outside and kiss in the rain!
Free movies in the park
Walk around the shops hand in hand
Have a fondue night
Make chocolate chip cookies from scratch together
Go-cart racing!
Head out on a boat ride
Head to a car dealer and test drive cars you’ve been dying to check out for you and your family
Strawberry/Apple picking – depending on the season down south
Op shopping
Movie night outside on an old school projector
Sit and watch your wedding video together
Make a family tree
Spend the night at a local B&B
Go walk the bibbleman track
Head to a local museum
Fitness class together
Make your own sundaes
Find a place where you can do a dinner boat or a dinner train!
Make your own sushi
Lay in your backyard and look up at the stars
Go horseback riding
Find a local art exhibit
Swim in the ocean
Go to the local pools
Head to adventure world
Create something for your kids and surprise them – blanket fort, pillow fortress, LEGO cave, etc!
Make a cake
Dress up all fancy and head out to dinner, it doesn’t matter if it’s just for the fun of it
Create a vision board of goals and dreams you both have for your lives ahead
Go snorkeling
Go to church together
Make breakfast and eat it in bed
Plant a tree
Create a special space outdoors for the summer
Go to a planetarium
Watch a fireworks display
Take a bubble bath together
Create a scavanger hunt for each other of clues that only the 2 of you would know and understand
Write a note and put it in a bottle and play message in a bottle
Visit a local animal shelter if you’re looking to adopt a new pet
Take a karate class
Whitewater rafting
Head to the casino
Walk to a cafe for coffee
Play some games at time zone
Hire a hotel for a lunchtime date
Grab a coffee and walk through bunnings/masters/ikea/freedom/empireand dream
Project a film on your roof and create a massive doona party
Gold class cinemas
Plan a holiday and savings plan
Hire a tennis court
Go to bingo
Grab a camera and go out and take photos
Look up farmers markets and go hang
Write a list of different countries cuisine and go through the list
Write letters to your compassion children
Go to a library and hire out DVDs, CDs, magazines and have a weekend holiday at home

That’s just the beginning…

Place: hairdressers

Poison: cup of tea

Favourite things: my dad babysitting

We live in a self obsessed society. Every second someone posts a ‘selfie’ of themselves on the Internet, every second people post photos of their food, their clothes, their moments.

We stand in queues wishing other consumers away. We watch daytime television marketing another product to make ourselves more beautiful, we lived consumed.

Consumed by ourselves.

No wonder we are so sad. No wonder society is imploding. No wonder we are losing touch with reality.

You see you were not created for the laws of this land. You were not essentially created to live selfishly, you were created in the image of a selfless Saviour.

A Saviour of sacrifice, one of humility, one consumed with others rather than himself.

Selfish pursuit is an epidemic in our world. Self obsession is rife in our families, workplace and churches.

Imagine if we spent more time thinking about others than ourselves. Imagine if we spent our energy, time and money on helping others pursue and achieve their dreams than our own. Imagine what our world would look like.

Imagine the beauty.

Life is beautiful.

Life is full of beauty.

Beauty is not contained in an inward approach to making ourselves famous. The kardashian flavor promoted unbecomingly proves this.

The most becoming people are those who serve others. The most attractive hearts are those consumed with life beyond themselves.

In the mire of self obsession you would be surprised at what humanity can create.

When Jesus was walked to his death, the downfall began with self obsession. Judas lost sight of his relationship in pursuit of gain for himself.

Matthew describes it this way…

For he knew it was out of self-interest that they had handed Jesus over to him. (Matthew 27:18 NIV)

A heart consumed with inward thoughts can only devise evil plans. A heart that leans outward can only embrace beauty.

How much are you thinking about yourself these days?

How long since you preferred another?

Screw this world and it’s self obsession! It continues to create havoc.

Live beyond dear friend. Our world needs some more kindness and love.

Kindness and love are based in an outward obsession.

A

Place: Home

Poison: flat white

Favourite Things: morning baby sleeps

I have no problem declaring there are days that I am needy. I want comfort, I want chocolate and I want sleep.

The early days of Max being on earth, the late stages of pregnancy, the season when I gave up my job. All needy, with a capital N.

There are seasons though when we all have to stand up and wave goodbye to Mrs Needy, and find inner strength to live beyond our emotions.

Emotions are the most beautiful gift from a highly engaged, creative, innovative, loving God. When we don’t feel, we become desensitised to colour, life, brilliance and beauty. Yet when our emotions overwhelm our capacity to endure we need to find help.

I am not referring to people who are going through seasons of diagnosed, debilitating depression. I have known friends and family who have struggled through the mud that debilitates the mind from depression.

I am referring to the rest of us, who yes, feel deeply and yes, need help, but neediness becomes our mantra.

These seasons are marked by guilt, whining, whinging, hanging onto the past, hanging onto mistakes, hanging onto friendships that have clearly moved on. You know those seasons where you suck the life out of everyone around you, desperately trying to come up for air.

Today I want to declare that neediness is not necessarily bad, but it needs to be compartmentalised in a season. You need to move on, you need to find new inspiration, you need to get professional help, you need to rely on God rather than people to gain your strength.

A friend who pulls others down to try and gain some sense of hierarchy is no friend at all.

A person who gossips and contains others with their words to try and get some sense of self worth for themselves is toxic.

Neediness has the capacity to kill relationships. Neediness has the ability to stunt the growth in marriage. Neediness can disable life and happiness.

Find strength in that which was created to carry your load. His name is Jesus.

Jesus, gives us strength when we no longer can find hope. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. Jesus brings light in the darkness.

Jesus.

Full Stop.

Not friends, not chocolate, not writing, not success, not your job, not your husband.

Jesus.

If you want to be needy, that place that attention on Christ, not on this world.

This world is broken, people will fail you, friends may help for a little while but they cannot bring sustenance to your soul.

Can you easily say…

It is well with my soul?

Can you shout…

It is well with my soul?

If not that’s okay, but a season of growth is required to move towards a place of wellness. A place of strength.

This strength can only be found in the one who was created to carry your burdens.

Just close your eyes right now, and contemplate Jesus, contemplate his goodness, his love, his mercy, his forgiveness, his compassion.

Make it your ambition to rely on him more and others less.

People will always fail you.

Jesus may confuse us sometimes with his timing and his ways, but he will never leave us or forsake us.

Screw neediness.

A

Place: My desk

Poison: water

Favourite Things: long sunday walks on the beach.

There is nothing worse than a friend who is stuck in the perpetual land of diva. A land of sequins, selfishness, sulking and swearing.

I find women sometimes intolerable. More than women, I find online rants even more despicable.

If you have an issue, if you need to vent, then phone a friend. Demanding people’s attention by crazy online stunts is no way to maintain and grow friendships.

You have a problem with your husband? Go and speak to him. You have an issue with a friend? Go and ring them. Diva is so 1980’s and if you hadn’t realised it was 30ish years ago.

Diva is so unbecoming and it seems our world loves to be a voyeur as people have huge melt downs.

Our current affair, reality show obsessed society is producing a whole generation that think expressing every little thought we have about anything and everything with no thought for others is okay.

Freedom of speech is not a right that we have purchased easily. Everytime twitter and facebook endorse someones despicable behaviour, we seem to find it hilarious and endearing.

How about kindness? How about grace? How about living for others? How about believing the best? How about purity, honesty and demure beauty?

I find diva incredibly immature. If our four and five year old children chuck tantrums, then we reprimand them.

Who is reprimanding our behaviour that is just simply immature and poor?

Speaking about others unkindly, rolling our eyes and bitching, all are very unbecoming.

In some ways I long for a little bit of Downtown Abbey respect for reputation. Even though Downtown Abbey has its fair share of drama, the inhabitants take the time to reflect upon their attitudes and reactions, considering the impact on others.

Are we too emancipated?

Is our world imploding in its immorality?

Is diva dead?

or do we all enjoy watching the drama unfold so much that holding others kindly accountable doesn’t cross our minds?

I think censorship of the diva is required?

For me and my household diva is being eradicated.

A