Category: 366 days of novice motherhood

Place: bed

Poison: flat white

Favourite things: Saturday morning sleep ins

These days Saturday mornings are my favourite. They are like an old pair of track suit pants, that are so comfy and content.

Saturday mornings my man, looks after our little man and mum gets to lie in.

I lay here in bed listening to them play, I snooze, I drink coffee, I flit around Facebook, I relax.

The hardest transition on a Saturday is out of sleepy sleep in bliss to hit the gym get stuff done Saturday. You see the weekend is our time also to get jobs done together.

As the hours tick towards ten am, I know I am going to need to put my runners on and get going.

Having an extra set of hands means so much these days and as much as I adore the sleep in, I also need help to strike tasks off my list.

Oh the quandary!

What to do?

Lie in? or productive Saturdays?

Gym, shopping, housework, visits?

Or pajamas, movies, games, books and snoring?

Neither are wrong it’s just the transition between the two that becomes hazy.

You see; times of relaxation, sleepy walks, long coffees and nibbled brunches are important. Slowing down, letting life slide, engaging in the moment, loving life. Imperative.

It’s how we transition into task manager, job allocator, domestic goddess that’s the key.

I believe allocated times of rest and recovery are medicinal.

Yet transitioning into focused times of productivity is important too.

I think the hazy state between the two is called ‘laziness!’

Lazy keeps you on the couch when you know you should be walking the beach, lazy stops you from brushing your hair when you know the birds nest up back is not the fashion, lazy stops you from ironing that last crease because it’s hidden from general view.

Mr lazy.

Mr lazy is not a sneaky fellow, he actually doesn’t give a rip. He wants to keep you in a holding patten, one where your pjs have coffee stains and your socks are full of holes. He says don’t worry about taking the rubbish out, no worries about that stain on your jeans. No worries, she’ll be right mate, just one more doughnut will make the day sing!

Lazy feels fat and grimy. Lazy sumo sizes our weaknesses. Lazy needs it’s ass kicked to allow dreams and visions to be accomplished.

Lazy is not rest and recovery, he’s the transition between the two.

Say goodbye to laziness and hello to life lived in the moment, choosing exactly what that moment was created for.

I need to get up…or maybe this moment was created for one more hours sleep.

Lazy, no!

A

Place: bed

Poison: cordial

Favourite things: the weekend!

People will always have an opinion,

People will always have a say.

People will always judge.

People will always think differently than you.

People are people.

People are broken. People are trite, people are rough diamonds, people are short sighted, people are friends one minute then de-friend you the next. People are brief and people cling on.

People are just that, just human, just basic, just primal, just them.

People have the capacity to be kind and forgiving but often let us down. Often letting themselves down.

I do have low expectations of people, as much as I have great expectations of people. They are crazy beautiful. One minute predictable the next minute spontaneous and random.

Nothing is sure when it comes to people. Everything is sure when it comes to God. We are made in his image, but also fall terribly short of his diety. Sin ensnares us all.

Knowing and living all of this…then why do I care so much about what people think of me?

Why am I ensnared by self doubt that is founded in insecurity and worry about what people think?

Why do I care so much about people’s opinions?

Because I am human. So are you!

We can get past this incessant need to be liked however, without becoming a cold, withdrawn chambermaid making sure everyone of my plethora of masters is happy.

Watch the stance of people who are leaning in for more, yet not reliant upon the opinions of the crowd.

If Jesus allowed the opinions of the crowd get to him, he would have died a much younger man.

Listening to the crowd rather than focusing on your cheersquad who delights in all your faubles.

I’m
Falling asleep now
Must stop writing but also am quietly whispering. Screw other people’s opinions!

Place: home

Poison: cordial

Favourite things: crocheting a present for a close friend

How often do we get drawn into a conversation that we walk away wishing we’d never been a part of?

How often do we say things we wish we could take back?

Gossip tastes sweet but leaves a terrible aftertaste.

It is easy to be drawn into a conversation that turns terribly wrong so quickly.

The problem with gossip is that it is really destructive. It imprisons people in judgement, criticism and fear.

I am no angel when it comes to this issue, but I try to stop myself or a conversation that is unproductive or critical about someone else.

I find facebook is one of the worst breeding grounds for gossip.

Did you see what ‘blank’ did online, did you see the post ‘blank’ put on ‘blanks’ wall…did you know ‘blank’…

I am making a commitment to myself that I don’t want to be someone who spends my words unwisely.

Proverbs 31: says this…

‘she always has something worthwhile to say and she always says it kindly’

I want to be a woman that completely lives out this scripture. I want to speak with kindness. I want to only bring that which is worthwhile to my conversations and friendships.

Gossip may seem harmless but it’s stench lasts forever. The damage gossip has done to people and relationships is far reaching.

So whose going to say screw gossip with me?

It’s not easy, but carefully choosing out words wisely will make such a difference to our friendships and families.

A

Place: My Desk

Poison: Cordial

Favourite Things: my new business ABN

Trust and me do not go together like tea.

I have never been that great with the whole trust scenario…

The problem with this little weakness of mine, is that it defines control issues in my life.

If only I planned a little more, if only I tried a little harder, if only I talked with one more person.

If only…

The problem with if only, is that if only’s never line up all at the same time.

Sickness happens, trains are late, buses don’t come, petrol runs out, wind blows, rain pours, machines break.

Life happens.

There is so much that is out of our control, so why do we even try to hold down that which is uncontrollable.

Why do I try to make my world safe, so that I don’t have to trust many people.

Screw control issues.

Sometimes we just need to roam free and let life happen.

Does that mean we don’t try at all. No, but it means we loosen hold of the grip that ensnares us. We allow the path before us to unfold and we delight in the journey.

My greatest dalliance has been with God.

Asking him, begging him, requiring of him every answer for my future.

(In some ways showing my control issues and lack of trust dilemmas with the Creator of the universe)

Often the times I let go and let God, are the times that I am completely overwhelmed by his grace and provision in my life and so glad I don’t know the ending to that chapter of my story.

Let’s commit to trusting more and trying to predict less.

Let’s commit to praying more and requiring less.

Let’s commit to allowing more and holding tightly to less.

Hold your ideas, thoughts and dreams lighter. You never know a better future may be awaiting as you loosen your grip on the unknown.

A

Place: the couch

Poison: Pepsi max

Favourite things: an audience with an established author…

Perfectionism is a wilderbeast!

It roams around my mind and heart awaiting its next dream to devour.

It whispers in my ear, ‘truly is it really good enough?, who do you think you are to have a go at that?, what if?’

Lies.
Dream-defilers.
Gross graffiti of the mind.

Perfectionism says that if it can’t be perfect then don’t even have a go.

It has held me back so many times. I have a certain manuscript that’s hibernated untouched on my desktop in the shadow of perfectness.

Many times I have said ‘my second book would have been so easy to publish, if it wasn’t for the first!’

Many times I have defended my punctuation and grammar on this blog, out of fear of mistakes and slack dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s.

In my heart I know that this blog is a free writing style. It’s a conversation. The voice is way more important to me than the literary excellence. Yet I find myself defending and excusing. Then I start to pull back and the perfectionist in me yells loudly ‘See I told you!’

This afternoon I sat in an audience with a great fellow writer friend listening to a live interview with Jodi Picoult and her daughter. I came away inspired, I left the building on cloud nine creating many different plot lines in my head as I danced down the sidewalk.

Then the slimy, green monster called ‘perfectionism’ snuck up and tried to whisper its taunts.

Today I told it to get lost!

I told perfectionism to get screwed. I may not just perform my duties with as much excellence as my mind requires, I may not be great at some things…but I am great at others.

So here’s a big thumbs down to having it all together. It’s basically overrated. I’m looking forward to just having a go and giving my best.

Putting in plenty of effort, but leaving the critical voice of displeasure behind.

How about you?
What do you stop yourself from doing because of perfectionism?

A