Category: 366 days of novice motherhood

Place: in bed

Poison: toothpaste

Favourite things: a worshipping husband

There is nothing as delicious as a blank page. Some may say chocolate is their vice, others a drop of red, but me the potential of a blank page incites my inner child.

The opportunity, the risk, the delight, the desire, the ability, the smell…

There is nothing like a heightened sense of new.

Today my blank page enabled a new chapter. It spoke positive potential for the future.

It captured my thoughts and have them purpose.

I think we are afraid of blank pages because they are trapped by two words…could and should!

Could is framed by guilt and possession. It stops people from thinking new thoughts and moving in new directions because could creates boundaries that are shadows from the past.

Should is shrouded in shame. It says what everyone else is thinking rather than the betrothed. Shame holds us back because it shapes our tomorrow’s with the failures from today.

I could do this because…guilt says it would be right.

I should do this…because shame provokes me towards its periphery.

I can do this because I am enabled by my abilities and a heavenly helper who is my refuge an strength.

I will do this because I desire life and life more abundant!

Are you afraid of a blank page?

Are you constrained by could’s and should’s?

What would your tomorrow look like if you let go of the shame and guilt from your today?

Pull out a blank page and dream of a new tomorrow…

You just never know what God may write in that space…

A

Place: doctors surgery

Poison: chewing gum

Favourite things: giraffe toys

Awaiting the nurse for Max’s four month immunization and I am a little bit tentative.

I know they are good for him, I know it’s small pain for protection from greater future pain, but still I grapple with its necessity.

This is our third try for these immunizations for many different reasons.

Protect.

Why do we hold back from doing the little things that protect us?

Honest conversations- they are immunizations from separation

Exercise- protects our health but we hold back.

Reading scripture- protects and guards our minds from the unhealthy.

A simple salad- yet we lean towards a burger and the sugar loaded.

Molescans- keeping a check on our skin.

Sunburn cream.
Seatbelts
Stackhats
Speed cameras

The list goes on. Yet we buck the system. We do everything we can to get out of the pain.

Yet the pain was created to guard us, protect us, keep us safe.

What was created to protect you, yet you are bucking its restraint?

Pain now, often deepens and creates passage for growth later.

Dig deep

A

Place: home

Poison: coke zero

Favourite things: a sleeping bubs

Today there is a chill in the air. The type of chill that produces an ache in your bones, the type that makes my little mans cheeks red, the type that breathes frost as you exhale.

A shiver
A rug
Wrap your arms around your middle
Tuck your hands into your hoodie

Cold

There is something about the cold that also makes me feel a little low, a little flat, a little snuggly.

It makes me want to stay inside, curl up on the couch and wrap myself I’m trackies and a rug.

To break the flow of that flat feeling though, I forced myself to the gym. I arranged a babysitter, I got myself off te couch and I picked up my towel.

Exercise really helps my emotional and physical state. I don’t know why it takes me so long sometimes to make it a daily habit, I’m not sure why I make it such a chore.

I am desperate to make it a part of my weekday, I want these excess baby kilos to disappear and I want to feel good in my clothes again.

Exercise is truly an excellent conduit for creative inspiration. If you feel flat, go and exercise, it will change everything.

Well maybe not everything but definitely your state of mind.

A

Place: the couch

Poison: sparkling red

Favourite things: ma boys reading books

Today my man and I had a massive conversation all about what we put our confidence in.

Where do you get your confidence from?

In the past I have got my confidence from my achievements, my job title, my eloquence, my friends, my possessions or my family reputation.

These days I am truly seeing that all of these mean nothing. Truly they do not weigh very much.

I want my life to weigh heavy in the kingdom of life not the kingdom of this world.

Our world rates people on similar themes as I used too, yet the kingdom of life rates people on servanthood, humility, peace, generosity, grace and much more.

When everything changes our confidence can be rocked. Everything we have held high and relied upon is removed and often it can rip the rug from under our confidence.

I want to place my confidence in a firm foundation. I want to put my reliance on principles that have withstood the seasons of time, not fads that arise in culture.

I truly want my confidence in the eternal to grow. The only way this can happen is increasing the foundation that it is built upon.

Confident upon His plans not my own.

Confident in His purpose for my life not mine.

Confident in Him.

A

Place: hairdressers

Poison: cup of tea

Favourite things: time to be a girl!

How often do I say ‘I should…’

I listen to a message and suddenly I’m thinking I should do that…

I read a post on Facebook and I think I should…

I read a blog, see a photo on Instagram and my mind goes to a new place…a place of should.

I want to live in the land of I have…

I have accomplished, I have finished, I have achieved.

How can we go from a good thought to a finished project?

Unfinished business drives me crazy!

The way we actually change out everyday, is putting into practice the ideas and thoughts we ruminate on.

Put into practice the tips we have discussed the last few posts, get people to hold us accountable, make the hard call when we need help.

Putting into practice and changing our days.

I wrote capture 30 days by putting into practice the dreams and desires I thought about. Every day for 30 days I wrote a chapter. I decided that I would do something and I followed through.

The final stretch of our scripture study says this…

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

What have you decided you need to change?

One part of my life that truly helps my anxiety and my fears is exercise. Sounds a little trite, but exercise changes my state of mind, I think better thoughts about myself, I feel better from the adrenaline. My mind changes when I sweat it out…

So I need to commit myself to exercise for 30 days at least to create a new patten and lifestyle!

What do you need to put into practice?

Fear, no matter how much you try to trap me, I’m not letting you win.

Fear series over and out!

What next?

A