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wholeness, women and leadership

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If there is one thing I am passionate about it is young women who lead. I started my first business when I was fifteen years old and have always looked for people ahead of the journey than me to learn from.

I worried so often as a young leader whether I was good enough, whether I was too much, too loud, too disorganised. I struggled with my self image, I wanted to be liked by people. A journey of struggle, knowing I have always been out the front from a young age and destined to lead, but never knew if it was just too much passion, too many ideas and way too many opinions.

My friend Karina and I run a young women in leadership project with twenty girls under thirty. Leadership can be restricted to a set of rules, an understanding of what you are not allowed to do and a position that is given by someone in authority.

But what if our understanding of leadership in our modern society was so much more than this prescriptive approach.

What if women in leadership were not an anomoly?

What if girls were raised to believe they can lead and not be described as bossy?

What if we were okay with our femininity as leaders rather than pushing forward feminism?

I have seen women in leadership fall often into two quite clear categories.

1) ‘I’m here because someone forced me to be here.’

2) ‘I’m trying to prove myself, get out of my way.’

I believe we need to create a culture of wholeness surrounding women in leadership. Eliminating the need for people to feel like they have to prove themselves. Creating cultures where natural expressions of leadership no matter the gender is based in gifting, authenticity and grace.

A whole leader in my view is someone who is completely okay with their season and place. Someone who is not trying to prove themselves in a boys club. She is graced for the season she finds herself in, she is authentic and grounded in knowing who she is and who she is not.

She doesn’t spend her days trying to please everyone.

She speaks kindly and softly, bringing passion, colour and life to the conversations she happens upon.

She is strong yes, but she doesn’t have it all together.

She doesn’t compare herself to strangers on the internet or other women excelling in her field.

She doesn’t copy the ideas of those in her industry, she makes a way through her own intelligence and capacity and doesn’t make excuses for her unique insight and brilliance.

She is not afraid to say that she is beautiful.

Humility shrouds her words.

Creativity and grace is her gift to those closest.

Happy to say no and lift another up into an opportunity.

Excited to say yes, when she knows she has something to give.

Whole, healthy, strong, kind, perceptive, intuitive…

What an amazing picture of what women in leadership could truly possess.

Not competitive.

Bitchy.

Selfish.

Loud.

Hyperactive.

but grounded.

Whole.

Oh gosh this excites me for what future generations can walk into.

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Creative Mentoring

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Over the last five weeks I have sat with fifteen different people and spent the day facilitating a creative retreat.

A very simple idea with profound opportunities.

What is a creative retreat?

A creative retreat is an opportunity to escape your everyday normal and to take time to reflect, rest and recover. We started the day with breakfast or coffee at a cafe on the beach, then the attendee’s went for a walk to explore. After that they took time in a park, the beach or at another cafe to explore some pre-set questions. I gave each person a journal and an opportunity to debrief the spaces in their lives that they feel most disappointed or challenged by. We then did a second session together to set small achievable goals and empowered towards change, accountability and great easy steps forward.

These days have been so inspiring for me personally and I am open for applications if you would like to do a guided retreat down in my beach side location any time this year. Email me: info@amandaviviers.com for more information.

Why take time to reflect?

I have found that creative people often struggle with finding perspective and insight because they are often the busiest people in the room. It is these kind of people I had in mind for these days of reflection, conversation and goal setting.

We all need a time and place to seek fresh inspiration and mentoring is a very different and unique way to find perspective. It is very different to coaching and counselling. Mentoring has a personal approach to help find and maintain accountability in areas of professional and personal goals that are agreed upon between two parties.

What is mentoring?

Mentoring is most often defined as a professional relationship in which an experienced person
(the mentor) assists another (the mentoree) in developing specific skills and knowledge that will
enhance the less-experienced person’s professional and personal growth.

I have been booking in session times with people for this coming year for ongoing accountability and fresh insight. For the month of March I am putting up a limited amount of one on one sessions to purchase.

If you have been looking for something like this book your session today here:

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Listening to peoples hopes, dreams and struggles for the year coming has been the most inspiring way to start my year.

Thank you everyone who participated for your vulnerability, honesty and hope for a greater tomorrow.

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Learning to say no.

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I have found in my life it is often easier to just say yes than say no.

As a mother.

As a friend.

As a lover.

As a mentor.

Lately I have been really aware of how often I say yes to something when I know in my season I should have just said no.

Some call it boundaries, some call it protective behaviour, but for me it’s actually so I can say yes to the things I know I am meant to be focussing on this year.

Yes, to exercise.

Yes, to publishing my next book.

Yes, to time focused on my children and the season that is moving so quickly.

Yes, to my friends who engage and want to be part of my life.

Yes.

I cannot say yes to these things, important opportunities, if I don’t say no to that which distracts me.

No to long periods of time on social media.

No to worrying about what people think of me.

No to my toddler, even when a melt down is likely to ensue.

Sometimes we get a little stuck and are unable to see breakthrough in our everyday because we are saying yes to the wrong things.

Then sometimes we say no to the right things and the opportunities pass us by.

What are you saying yes to, that you know in your heart of hearts that you shouldn’t?

Maybe it’s your season like mine to start saying no a little more, so I can say yes to that which should be my priority.

Sincerely,

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the future

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Happy Friday!

So what’s next on the agenda?

Someone asked me if there would be more than one Green Couture store, if we’d have multiple locations?

I hadn’t thought about it much to be honest, although my husband is certainly keen.

I guess if you can do one, you can do two!

Do you believe that you ever reach the end of a dream?

I wonder if they keep evolving, extending… you reach the end of the initial dream & then it extends into a whole new chapter, a new direction.

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A future challenge for me is to get other people involved in the Green Couture dream, to employ staff & have volunteers. Living out your own dream or vision is one thing but the ability to pass that on to others so they are able to embody your unique culture is another challenge entirely.

One thing is certain; the adventure always has new challenges!

So much to do! A lifetime sometimes feels too short…

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I’m sharing my thoughts about the future with you in the hope that it stirs up the dream in you.

What is it that you’ve always wanted to do?

It may not be about having your own business, it might be learning a language, travelling, buying a house, creating something… why not do something today to head in that direction? You just need to take a step.

I’d like Green Couture to be in a position of influence in the local (& wider) community. Not for the sake of having attention & certainly not attention on me, but to be known for believing in people, loving people, a business that invests into it’s community & helps people in need.

I am keen to continue my search to source beautiful things for the store, perhaps extending this overseas. I’m looking forward to seeing The Local Creative ‘family’ grow & to continue to support those creative people out there who make such unique & lovely things!

I’d like to develop relationships that further enable us to fund/bless/give to projects that help people reach their potential…

It’s been so nice chatting these past few Fridays; be inspired to pursue your dream. You can do it! Believe in yourself… there’s more in you than you know!

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You can follow me at my blog if you’d like to stay up to speed with the Green Couture adventure. Pop in to the store & say hello if you’re in Albany, Kate

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Images – Krysta Guille Photography, Lumiere Art & Co, Pony Rider
Cushions & wall dots available at the Green Couture Store

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the now

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Today marks the end of the second week of the Green Couture ‘in the flesh’ store being open. I also have a Green Couture on-line store – this went ‘live’ in January this year.

The on-line store was another of those steps that happen along the way to the dream being realised.

Who knows that starting your own venture requires investment?

Lots of your time, your effort, your money…

On the subject of finance, ‘The Wait’, catch up here (if you missed last week’s post), also resulted in finance being available to launch the Green Couture website, the on-line store & now the physical store… it’s all about the right timing! Don’t try to make things happen at the wrong time!

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It’s so easy to get distracted. I was having coffee with the lovely and wise Amanda Viviers earlier this year and she said something along the lines of ‘don’t compare what you’re doing with what other people are doing’.

Inspiration is great but not when you lose track of your own idea & start trying to recreate someone else’s dream, becoming a rip off of someone else, not the true version of you & what you’re meant to achieve.

If you’re building something stick to your vision; check regularly that you’re on track…

Don’t get sidelined by someone else’s dream…

Don’t be afraid to make adjustments, do something different or entirely can an idea, you can always go back to the drawing board if it doesn’t feel like the right fit.

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Being able to adjusting things as we go is very freeing. We don’t have to be slaves to what we’ve put in place, what we thought it might look like.

When something doesn’t work out how we might have envisaged we can

re-set…

re-think…

re-adjust…

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One of the things I enjoy about Green Couture is people. Relationships you’re your suppliers, clients & neighbouring businesses.

The myriad of different people you come into contact with who were all there doing their thing before you started your business but now your worlds have collided.

Opportunities!
to relate…
to be-friend…
to influence…
to be kind…

Life is rich!

Hope your Friday is going magnificently,

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Images – Krysta Guille Photography, Best in Park, Empirical Style & Ziporah
Dog accessories, wooden pendant lights & towels available at the Green Couture Store Online