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The aftermath of a speeding fine and running on empty

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I’ve just sat down in a cafe, waiting for a client with the shame that only one thing can induce. The flash of a speed camera. I’m normally the kind of person who intentionally drives slowly. This morning as I rushed my littles to school, my fuel tank was on empty and I was listing all the things I needed to achieve today.

Flash.

No.

What was that?

Couldn’t be.

Breathe deeper.

It will be okay.

What was I thinking?

“Amanda, you know better than this…”

Shame dialogue, panic attack rising, bills looming.

This book club and Shauna Niquest’s latest offering “Present Over Perfect” came into my life at a time when I knew I needed to reprioritise what I said yes to. We all know busy, though. We all know what it feels like in the wake of a flash from a speed camera and the sheer terror of hoping we make it to the fuel station. Yet are we able to see the warning signs in our internal lives? Also just as significant a question “How do we respond to ourselves in the melting pot of these flashing lights?”

Lately, I have been drawn to this word;

Compassion.

When we hear this word, it is easily associated with helping those in need in developing countries. I have been reflecting on the word compassion in my own life.

Self-compassion. The way I extend grace, mercy, and forgiveness to myself. All week I have been reflecting on how I speak to myself in times when I am disappointed. When I am disappointed in myself.

Do you disappoint yourself?

Are you filled with regret over something that has happened?

How do you speak to yourself?

With compassion?

The meaning of compassion;

“Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.”

What if we extend the same compassion to ourselves that we extend to others?

No one’s approval is enough to make up for a lack of self-love, which is really a lack of self-awareness.

When we feel a desire to be loved, it isn’t other people’s love we need. It’s our own relationship with love that we’re longing for, our own awareness of being interconnected with others, our own sense of the magic of our own interwoven existence.

To seek the fulfillment of this desire in others’ approval is a losing battle. It will never be enough. No one can compliment you enough to supplement for the acceptance that you need from your own self, in each moment. Acceptance for your struggles and your talents. Acceptance for your humanity. Celebration of that humanity.

Love is an inside job.”
Vironika Tugaleva

The way we walk between spaces with ourselves impacts everything.

Today I sit here, in the wake of a speeding fine, my fuel tank is now filled and am slowly unpacking the distress I feel from wasted money and the fine.

The only way that this can be resolved, however, is through grace extended by self-compassion. Change is available to us, when we reframe our decisions from a place of grace rather than shame.

Shauna encouraged me with this quote from her book;

“What kills a soul? Exhaustion, secret keeping, image management.And what brings a soul back from the dead? Honesty, connection, grace”

My question for our book club today is this.

In what areas of my life can I show myself more compassion?

I am off to find a quiet space and make peace with my raging insides. Happy Friday friends.

and what a profound book this is!

Amanda Marie

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Stay in touch

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Amanda sends out resources and opportunities for collaboration to her email update list.

She has formed a private online community called #writemakecreate Those who have purchased any mentoring or coaching program also have access to a private facebook online chat forum, with goal accountability and access to new opportunities.

Join today via your email to stay in touch and I make you my personal promise that your information is safe with me.

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Be a unicorn in a field of horses

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The light flickered with a glint only found at this hour. Quiet descended and beauty thrashed with a “NAAHAYY”. This is the hour, the hour of the great awakening. Across the earth, there are moments like this every day but they are uncommon.

She turned her head and smiled knowingly. The grass, the warmth of the fresh soil, the green burst of freshness as dew settled into its familiar crevices. She had found her resting place. Eyes closed, nostrils breathing deep, she searched across the voices in her mind, to settle with the one that bought the most comfort.

Each and every voice she had become accustomed to. The negative one, that told her she was not good enough. The strung out one that told her time was limited and she should not even try. Then she tripped over the silly one, smiling and saying she was a little childish. And the one she settled into that day, was the one who brought with her a cup of hot chocolate and a smile. This voice whispered rather than scolded. This voice helped her realise the power of her unique.

That simple moment of realisation on that morning unlocked something that lay hidden for seasons before. It was an awakening, where she realised that being different was no longer a curse, but the beginning of something so very grand.

She listened to the voice, the still quiet echo and it ushered her towards the great unknown.

The common path had been her guide. It was trampled and well worn in. She knew its mountainous crevices so well, she could walk its rocky paths with not much thought. She followed and frolicked, roamed and walked its path. She had no idea that she was purposed to trail a new path. That these new days asked for new ways.

The new path lay hidden inside the flash of her mane, the flash of brilliance beneath her chin and the flicker within her soul. She was unique, she was powerful and she was divine.

Why did she always believe what the pack said about her?

She asked herself “Why am I always so content with fitting in, that I loose sight of what my own thoughts and opinions really reflect?”

It all began one ordinary Tuesday morning. As her friends walked to the edge of the field, to spy once again on the neighbours flowers. They stood in a neat little row at the fence staring aimlessly at the field of wildflowers.

Her friend Chanel whispered, “What if we broke free and leaped into the field beyond?”

Therese scalded “Chanel, that is a terrible idea. We should be grateful for the place we find ourselves in now. Many people would be glad to have a view like we do. Shame on you for being so ungrateful.”

It wasn’t long before the warm cup of hot chocolate was offered to her internal mind. An awakening of possibility, that maybe, just maybe Chanel wasn’t ungrateful but she was designed for so much more.

She looked beyond her today and there was something in Chanel’s question that broke open her Tuesday.

“What if.”

It repeated over and over in her mind, as she allowed the possibility of a different tomorrow to sink in. It became a beckoning rhythym of potential and purpose.

It rung to places that she had no idea even existed in her heart.

“What if” echoed

“What if” appealed

“What if” reassured

“What if” provoked

Change beckoned her out of that field of familiarity and open her heart to hope. “What if I was called to live beyond these gates?”

“What if there is something unique and purposed in my life?”

“What if I was born for so much more?”

And in that moment she forgot to think, she forgot the fear and she leaped. She stopped over thinking, over analysing and over dramatising her whole damn life and she leapt into the great unknown.

It was only in the midst of the leap that the most profound thing happened. Her legs lengthened and her tail flared into colours she had no idea were hidden beneath her beige.  As she flew her unique flared across her body and she became the full version of herself that was awaiting its time.

As she lengthened and as she stretched the beauty of the horn that she had always hated that sat there obviously on her head transformed into her signature.

As she silently flew beyond the limits of the field, the hot chocolate voice reassured her. She realised that she had always been designed to fly.

unicorn

This weekend Amanda is speaking at an event “Finding Your Voice” tickets are closing tonight and it is your last chance to come and have breakfast with Amanda and her latest book Dear Single Self will be available for sale and a personally signed copy.

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Why Mums, creatives and women all over need to make time to retreat.

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When was the last time you walked the beach alone?

When was the last time that you prioritised time for you to breathe deeper again?

As Women, as Mothers and as Creatives we spend so much time giving out to others, we spend so much time in spaces where we are in charge, responsible and giving our attention to everyone else’s needs.

I am learning that if I don’t prioritise time for me, time to reflect, time to escape, time to renew then everyone around me suffers.

I have spent many times in my life in near burnout. I am an empath to the extreme. When I walk into a room, I really feel what is happening in the whole room. When I sit and listen to someone’s story, it is like I am carrying their experience. When I say yes to doing something, I am extreme in my commitment to its execution. I am loyal, I am constant in my pursuit of contribution and I feel so damn big.

All of these things are the reason why I need to get away. I need to prioritise time with people who feel like I feel and are looking to live a life of purpose.

It is difficult for me to prioritise money and time to make this happen annually. It is difficult to arrange babysitters for my kids and say yes, knowing that my life shifts and changes so often.

But honestly, if I don’t no one else will.

We launched our inspire creative retreat today and I wanted to invite you.

The exhausted, the confused, the strung out and the somewhere in-between.

I wanted to extend my invite to those who sometimes don’t fit it, to the ones who feel forgotten and the ones who cannot see beyond their washing piles.

To the successful, to the writer, the painter, the singer and the musician. To the one who feels unable, to the one who is sick of being overlooked, to the one who has been silenced and the one whose been told they are redundant.

To those who feel too old, to those who feel too big, too loud and those who feel too much.

Click on this link and have a read of the weekend we have prepared.

Just

For

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Should I stop posting my life on the internet? A film review of Snowden

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One could say I am a serial internet poster. My online footprint could be found by even the most novice of searchers but for the first time last night, I questioned my love affair with all things online and breathed a deep sigh of “what has our world become?”. Edward Snowden, has confused us.

My husband and I were invited to the State Premiere of Snowden, at Luna cinemas, Leederville. The movie opens nationwide this Thursday, 22nd of September and is one of the best movie releases this side of Christmas.

Academy Award-winning director Oliver Stone seamlessly combined the real life footage of Edward Snowden, a polarising global figure, who mid-2013 took down the American government, with a documentary team and the guardian media from a Hong Kong hotel room.

Snowden, an everyday, boring, computer geek, uncovered a glitch in his personal integrity whilst consulting in his role for the NSA. He slowly realised that the work he was employed for, was secretly enabling the American Government, to spy on everyday citizens, without their knowledge.

He is considered a real time hero for some and a national security traitor for others. Snowden now lives in exile in Moscow, Russia. The film had us enthralled from beginning to end.

As we watched this true story unfold, we uncomfortably turned off our phones and disconnected our entangled lives online. Across the cinema, I saw phone after phone being turned off, as people realised the intrinsic nature of our online search ability.

We drove home and took a deep breath from the intense story of our culture, and reconsidered our opinion of this story of an everyday hero.

Maybe it is okay that our security and lives are monitored for safety, protection?

Wait, what, our every move is monitored and weighed, sifted, by the government?

The discussion in our car was brilliantly confusing.

No matter which side of the fence you sit, this film will leave you reconsidering how you interact online and the culture of the world that we live in. I’m not sure if I am ready to call Snowden my hero yet, but I am thankful that he has made me engage in a conversation that matters around our online culture and the pervasiveness of its impact.

This is sure to be a film must see this Spring and one you will want to buy a pack of band-aids for!

Amanda Viviers

www.amandaviviers.com