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Love, Love

Amanda and Charl V dayLots of people roll their eyes at Valentines Day, shouting at its consumerism.

But for us in our household, we celebrate love.

I don’t need a special day to do this, I believe we should say the things we need to say to everyone who is special to us, whenever the thought arises, but a day dedicated to spreading love… I am all in.

There is enough cynicism, there is enough violence, there is enough greed. A day that promotes encouraging words, simple gestures, breakfast in bed, longer kisses than usual, picnics in the park, whether you are dating or not, is something I wholeheartedly believe in.

For most special holidays, Christmas, Birthdays, Mothers day, Anniversaries, My husband and I don’t go over the top with crazy gifts and dramatic gestures. We have traditions that are simple.

For example our only sons first birthday, we declared a non present birthday. My family of course were furious, but we believe memories are more important and longer lasting than gifts.

A tradition for my husband and my wedding anniversary is that we give each other a book each every year for our anniversary, something simple, something memorable and we write in the front of the book about the year our marriage has just celebrated.

The world declaring love is the most beautiful of pursuits in my eyes.

Maximus just went to his dancing lesson this morning and took his favourite Aunty Jenna a bunch of flowers that were the same height as him and a be my valentine card.

We together just went and took my Granma out to the shops, so that Max and her could share an ice-cream together celebrating their love.

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I love, love.

In fact my favourite lover of all time said this.

‘Love one another as I have loved you…’

So if you find yourself a little jaded this lovers day, whether single, engaged, married, divorced… Why don’t you celebrate someone you love this year.

Send a text, send some flowers, make a cake, do something little for someone who you know feels a little lonely and unloved this year.

It doesn’t need to be your partner, it can be someone who needs a dose of kindness and a little reminder that they are loved.

All my love

Amanda

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Attention seekers anonymous

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I just went for a big walk on the beach to cool my shoes down so I don’t respond out of reaction to something online. Needless to say, I won’t be on much social media for the rest of the day I think. Time out.

I feel bombarded by people’s opinions, where in an everyday context, I wouldn’t get involved but I do because they come up on my newsfeed online. I would walk away from that conversation. I would abstain.

Oh this creative, over publicised, opinionated world we live in.

I am a little over attention seeking.

Maybe we need to form an Attention Seekers Anon.

Yes, this blog is full of opinion as well, I realise that.

Is reading other people’s thoughts helpful though?

Sometimes

Often

Never.

I think it depends on the fruit.

I think it depends on the character of the person who is speaking, writing or communicating.

It is so easy to have our attention drawn to the loudest, proudest voice.

I however am drawn to a person’s fruit in their life rather than their opinion or spin.

‘Beautiful things don’t ask for attention they are just there…’

The secret place, a place of discipline, a place of courage, an anchor of peace.

Beautiful things like;

grace

peace

long suffering

joy

believing the best in people

humility

kindness

understanding

forgiveness

These are all amazing and releasing traits that build a life worthy of listening to.

Someone who has built these into their everyday, someone who is quick to say sorry, someone who is aware of their own failings.

I will sit under their teaching and consider their ideas. I will listen to their thoughts, their wisdom and their reflections.

I am sure if they are living a life of growth and beauty, they will not have their opinions, judgements and ideas set in stone either.

They are aware that their opinions and thoughts are a moving, shaping, life evolving, learning species.

Beautiful things don’t ask for attention, they are just there.

If someone constantly demands your attention, look to the fruit.

If someone is unwilling to listen to your thoughts and ideas and grow and change, then be aware of the influence on your life.

Breathe in and let go.

Paul Scanlon an amazing communicator yesterday posted on instagram ‘I choose to unsubscribe from your issues…’

Talk tomorrow.

A

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startled

live a life you are proud of

At the moment I am on an enforced travel ban (a combination of the fact that I am 3 and a half months pregnant and way too much travel last year). It is such a challenge because I am addicted to going to visit new lands, new people and new experiences.

I have spent the day with my favourite people, but in the back of my mind, all day there has been a distant dreaming of far away places.

Two different groups of friends are away overseas at the moment on missions orientated trips. One group in India and the other in Cambodia. As I see their posts on social media, my heart leaps for the experiences that they are encountering and the life tilting changes that will have happened when they land back on Australian soil.

My husband struggles to understand my wanderlust, but every time I put myself in a situation where I am not the captain of my own ship, every time I sit in a gutter with someone who has nothing and I mean nothing, I am reminded and reorientated to why I am here on earth.

I always feel startled.

It doesn’t matter how many times I travel, my heart and my life is expanded and deepened, my grace is increased and my pride is decreased.

I gain great appreciation for my little house by the sea and more grateful for the things that begin to annoy me when my heart is not shocked into submission.

Most people who read this blog will do so on a mobile phone, tablet or computer, and therefore will be in the top percentage of the richest people on the planet. I would like to say though most of us would attest to being dissatisfied with our lives. Dreaming of new houses, new cars more and more and more.

When I hear friends complain about the size of their beautiful homes or boast of their latest top quality purchase, I remind myself that we are blessed.

We have everything we could ever need.

If we have food in our fridges we are blessed.

In fact if we have a fridge and electricity, we are blessed.

I sat with a mum in a village north west of thailand who told me the recent story that traffickers had come to town and offered to give her a fridge if she would let them take her daughter away with them to work in Bangkok. Promising money, stability and a new life. The child ended up sold into prostitution and was never seen again by this mum. All for the price of a fridge.

Another mum I sat in a slum in Bangkok told me how she had been offered 3,000 dollars the week before to sell her beautiful three year old daughter into prostitution. She was considering the offer.

Shocked.

Startled.

It’s real life for most.

I love this quote from the writer of the screen play ‘The curious case of benjamin button’.

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” Eric Roth

My challenge to myself and others is live a startled life. Don’t fall into the trap that having a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house in the suburbs is the goal and the status of a successful life. Allow perspective to rise. Feel things you have never felt before. Meet people with a different point of view. Live a life you are proud of. If not, have the courage to start again tomorrow and make choices to live a startled, curious, outward focussed life.

Now, where can I go next year, when my travel ban lifts?

Amanda

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the dark night of the soul

dark night

I think there is a popular myth that we will always know what we are doing and why we are doing it.

We often run from the darkness in our souls, rather than embrace it.

When we find ourselves making decisions about our tomorrow with no certainty, we can feel confused.

There is an assumption that clarity equals success.

I do believe there are times of great clarity in ones life, but also many many days of walking through night like experiences.

One of my favourite old time spiritualists wrote this prayer;

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Thomas Merton

Even the most successful of hero’s have had dark times of in-between.

People like Mother Teresa, are renowned for their famous writings of faith and encouragement, but many scholars attest to her many years of doubt and deep darkness.

Personally in my walk, most weeks there are days of doubt. Although it sounds like on this blog that I have very certain ideas about my life, faith, vulnerability, creativity…I spend many days in doubt fighting that certainty with a depth of courage.

If you are in a place of darkness right now and feel very uncertain about the next step. Feel assured that most people who have lived a successful life, an authentic life, a brave life, have walked through dark days.

This poem written by St John of the cross exposes his vulnerabilities in this area;

Upon a darkened night
The flame of love was burning in my breast
And by a lantern bright
I fled my house while all in quiet rest

Shrouded by the night
And by the secret stair I quickly fled
The veil concealed my eyes
While all within lay quiet as the dead.

O, night thou was my guide!

O, night more loving than the rising sun!
O, night that joined the Lover to the beloved one!
Transforming each of them into the other.

Upon that misty night
In secrecy beyond such mortal sight
Without a guide or light
Than that which burned as deeply in my heart.

That fire ’twas led me on
And shone more bright than of the midday sun
To where He waited still
It was a place where no one else could come.

The only difference between these amazing poets and inspirational people is they have found ways to keep walking through into their fields of peace.

What is it that makes the shutters come down and the dark envelop?

Discover your cross and you will be one step closer to stepping towards your peace.

See you tomorrow

Amanda

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Sleep

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Today I had a big sleep in the middle of the day. I woke up feeling really guilty, but so grateful for the rest. I am now 16 weeks pregnant and I am not sure how I even worked with my first little bun in the oven till 8months pregnant.

Why do we feel guilty when we allow ourselves to do what is essential?

Lack of sleep equals a lack of inspiration.

Our hormones are affected, our ability to think quickly and ability to innovate is affected.

Our sleep patterns directly affect our output.

So why do we feel guilty when we sleep in, or we take a nanna nap, or we just go to bed early?

It’s almost like we have to hide it from one another, because there is this unwritten rule that we are being unproductive.

I have found in my own life, creating a good routine before going to bed, being proactive in turning my phone on sleep mode, reading before I go to bed, (rather than falling asleep in front of the t.v), a hot cup of herbal tea, a hot shower, worship music; all induce a more restful sleep.

Another tip is making sure that I process the day well and let go of the things I cannot change. If I am struggling to fall asleep to find quotes, meditations or scripture to fill my mind with goodness rather than worry as I fall into slumber.

How are you sleeping?

Do you need to plan a few Nanna naps to catch up?

Do you need to plan a bracket day? a stress leave day? A personal day?

Do you need to plan a PJ day?

Sleep equals productivity.

I know our obsession with busy, means even the notion of a siesta is coupled in lazy language but if you want to live a productive life.

You need to get better at sleeping.

Talk tomorrow

Amanda