As the sun set yesterday the foreboding feeling overwhelmed me that an act of injustice was to be done before the sun rose to a new day. As midnight approached a prayer from the Letter to the Philippians, rolled through my mind, “praying for a peace that surpassed understanding, a peace that guarded both their hearts and minds” as a row of men stood before them with weapons with the intent to end their life as a punishment.

Today I have walked a little slower and been very reticent to open the tirade of opinions on social media. I have been reflecting on the influence of a life sown. I have been reminded all day about the two criminals that hung beside Jesus as he was also executed on a cross. Two criminals, being held accountable for their crimes. Two different responses in the midst of their final hours.

One of them acknowledging his need of a King, the other dismissing, mocking just like the crowd. One of them sees clearly the power of redemption and the restorative power of the cross and the other doesn’t. A little like the crowd that has gathered at the feeding frenzied table over the last few days. The opinions, the comments, the mockery, the broken hearted, the confused, the battle weary disappointed as they waited for their miracle.

Jesus simply looks at the man, in the midst of his own darkest night of the soul and invites him to live with him in paradise. The penitent thief is recorded in history as saying ‘Remember me, when you come into your kingdom Lord.’

His love surrounds us in the darkest moments of our lives. Last night a group of criminals stood awaiting their fate singing the words “Amazing Grace, that saved a wretch like me.”

My life is an example of the redemptive power of a Saviour who radically changed my life. One shot of heroin and my story today could have been a very different story. I stood at the Bali Airport the day they were arrested. I stayed in the hotel next door all week that they planned their moment from. I was literally fifty metres away from being that person who was strapped.

I hate drugs and I believe in being accountable for the laws that we break.

I also believe deeply in restoration.

My family believes in the redemptive power of rehabilitation. I kiss goodbye to my husband each morning as he goes to work with juveniles in prison.

Tonight, I am comforted by the knowledge that they are resting now in paradise. They stood strong, brave and vulnerable as they faced their accusers.

Last night reminded me deeply of the crucifixion of Christ. He tried desperately to find another way shouting “If there is anyway you can take this away from my God, but not my will be done but yours.”

I am so sure, his mercy flooded their hearts and lives as the bullets took their lives. A redemptive power that is ever-lasting. A walk into a kingdom that is far beyond anything we could ever hope or dream of.

The prince of peace welcomed them home.

I have had major writers block for months now.

Not here on my blog; you guys are my therapy.

My friends,

Super forgiving.

Ever helpful.

You’re an extension of my creative gang.

The big fat impenetrable wall that has been smashed down was my latest manuscript. Chapter twenty one became my nightmare.

How do I finish this?

Am I just adding a crazy amount of optimism to a topic that is just complicated?

What do you know anyway, you’re not even single anymore?

Words that wounded like a knife. Moments of blank screen pity. Times when I just said “I give up.”

Despite these words of condemnation I have been writing even when I don’t feel like it.

I have been sorting out grammar even when I hate it.

I have just had a go. Some seasons you just need to keep trying. Anything, everything, until suddenly one day it just flows. Inspiration is unleashed. You are propelled into the new.

One great creative tool I have been trying is called “Morning pages” from Julia Cameron. Basically what you do is write every morning in a journal, stream of conscious thoughts. Whatever comes to mind, just write. Don’t edit. Don’t think. Don’t judge just write. You will be surprised at what comes out first thing in the morning.

And the result has been the removing of a big fat old blockage and my project is sailing again.

The new title of the book is…

“Dear single self,”

All I have left is one letter and a closing epilogue.

I have written ten chapters this week.

Editors, publishers, single friends, the project has lift off again.

Watch out. This book will not beat me.

Never, ever give up.

Ever.

 

Autumn has bought with it a dose of inspiration to the bay.

I have new projects bubbling, I am getting more sleep than a long time with my newborn now approaching nine months and life is really full of peace.

I picked up my manuscript again, changed the title and starting writing my book again. It is so close to being finished but I often find the close of the whole project is always the most laborious.

When I am in the midst of such projects I find myself so grateful for others who have pioneered and forged ahead of me, publishing works that inspire me and sometimes even take my breath away.

Here are my favourite reads right now;

Podcast of today’s radio interview linked.

1) Category: Leadership | Daring and Disruptive by Lisa Messenger: As a leader, as a entrepreneur, as a wife, as a writer, this book has propelled me into another realm of thinking bigger about my life. I am finding myself dreaming again, full colour, with a courage I didn’t have before this book. It is all about starting new businesses, living larger as a woman and the dreams I hold tentatively in my hands. I could not put it down.

2) Category: Devotional | Savor by Shauna Niquest: I have been reading all of Shauna’s books over the last few months and I feel like I have meet a long lost friend again (even though we have never met). She entwines Spirituality, Food, Family, Motherhood and Life all into a beautifully, raw, real shaped picture and brings simple truth that is applicable to my every day. I was so excited when she recently released a daily devotional, so I could read a short little something each day, to inspire me towards more intentional living.

3) Category: Self Help | Simplify by Bill Hybels: This is my latest read that I haven’t finished yet, but I am so humbled to read the thoughts of a man who is so proficient as a leader, take time to bring his every day life back to the simple things that we all need to get back to. His book is all about taking the complexity of the lives that we all now live and bringing it back to simple. As leaders and families it is easy to think we need to be doing everything, but we just cannot. Bill, I cannot wait to get my tea and keep reading with you. You have inspired me for a long time and continue to with your latest release.

4) Category: Fiction | The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult: Honestly I have never thought about World War Two, as much as I did after reading this book on our overseas holiday last month. Taking time to see Nazi Germany through the eyes of those who have been tortured but also through the torturers perspective was intense. This book is the type of novel that you just cannot put down. Reading quickly and emotionally immersing yourself in another’s story is one of the most inspiring ways that I can spend my lesuire. You will not regret picking up this novel.

5) Category: Mummahood | The Best Yes by Lysa Keurst: As a Mum I find so much that demands on my time. People often ask me how do you write, speak, consult as well as look after two littles. My response is often I am not sure but what I do know is they come first. My best yes is my family. Leaving my career to spend most of my time at home is the best thing I have ever said yes to. This book gives wisdom to what we say yes to and what we don’t. It is a brilliant example to me of balanced, wise living, that we are all looking for help to navigate. This book is a fresh perspective on this approach.

These are some of the books on my beside table and on my kindle at the moment.

I’m also reading the book #girlboss by Sophia Amoruso and honestly don’t rate it that much…

Reading

 

 

This morning my family and I ran.

I ran, for the first time in three years.

I saw tree’s I have never noticed before, I saw dogs and families loving the outdoors and life in full colour.

We tag teamed around the park and we ran our hearts out.

Self care is one of the most important revolutions that any family can embark upon but unfortunately we just keep going and going till we drop. Excercise is a form of self care. Also eating simple, healthy foods to nourish our bodies. Sleep, time out, reading, reflecting, hoping, meditating…These are all ways that we refill our emptiness with beauty.

Self care is not a term a psychologist drops in a conversation when they want to sound intelligent.

It is just us taking time to look after ourselves in ways that no one else can.

“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less me. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honour my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose to make self-care a priority. I choose me.” Daniell Koepke

What do you need in this season to find strength?

What about if looking after and loving yourself became the most amazing revolution that it affected everyone in your sphere of influence?

I am not talking about being selfish.

I am all about us working out what it is that we need and making it happen, because we are important.

Imagine, women taking time to find strength and hope by looking after themselves as much as they help others.

A revolution indeed.

Imagine if that was the legacy our children walked into.