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Love, Love

Amanda and Charl V dayLots of people roll their eyes at Valentines Day, shouting at its consumerism.

But for us in our household, we celebrate love.

I don’t need a special day to do this, I believe we should say the things we need to say to everyone who is special to us, whenever the thought arises, but a day dedicated to spreading love… I am all in.

There is enough cynicism, there is enough violence, there is enough greed. A day that promotes encouraging words, simple gestures, breakfast in bed, longer kisses than usual, picnics in the park, whether you are dating or not, is something I wholeheartedly believe in.

For most special holidays, Christmas, Birthdays, Mothers day, Anniversaries, My husband and I don’t go over the top with crazy gifts and dramatic gestures. We have traditions that are simple.

For example our only sons first birthday, we declared a non present birthday. My family of course were furious, but we believe memories are more important and longer lasting than gifts.

A tradition for my husband and my wedding anniversary is that we give each other a book each every year for our anniversary, something simple, something memorable and we write in the front of the book about the year our marriage has just celebrated.

The world declaring love is the most beautiful of pursuits in my eyes.

Maximus just went to his dancing lesson this morning and took his favourite Aunty Jenna a bunch of flowers that were the same height as him and a be my valentine card.

We together just went and took my Granma out to the shops, so that Max and her could share an ice-cream together celebrating their love.

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I love, love.

In fact my favourite lover of all time said this.

‘Love one another as I have loved you…’

So if you find yourself a little jaded this lovers day, whether single, engaged, married, divorced… Why don’t you celebrate someone you love this year.

Send a text, send some flowers, make a cake, do something little for someone who you know feels a little lonely and unloved this year.

It doesn’t need to be your partner, it can be someone who needs a dose of kindness and a little reminder that they are loved.

All my love

Amanda

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Attention seekers anonymous

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I just went for a big walk on the beach to cool my shoes down so I don’t respond out of reaction to something online. Needless to say, I won’t be on much social media for the rest of the day I think. Time out.

I feel bombarded by people’s opinions, where in an everyday context, I wouldn’t get involved but I do because they come up on my newsfeed online. I would walk away from that conversation. I would abstain.

Oh this creative, over publicised, opinionated world we live in.

I am a little over attention seeking.

Maybe we need to form an Attention Seekers Anon.

Yes, this blog is full of opinion as well, I realise that.

Is reading other people’s thoughts helpful though?

Sometimes

Often

Never.

I think it depends on the fruit.

I think it depends on the character of the person who is speaking, writing or communicating.

It is so easy to have our attention drawn to the loudest, proudest voice.

I however am drawn to a person’s fruit in their life rather than their opinion or spin.

‘Beautiful things don’t ask for attention they are just there…’

The secret place, a place of discipline, a place of courage, an anchor of peace.

Beautiful things like;

grace

peace

long suffering

joy

believing the best in people

humility

kindness

understanding

forgiveness

These are all amazing and releasing traits that build a life worthy of listening to.

Someone who has built these into their everyday, someone who is quick to say sorry, someone who is aware of their own failings.

I will sit under their teaching and consider their ideas. I will listen to their thoughts, their wisdom and their reflections.

I am sure if they are living a life of growth and beauty, they will not have their opinions, judgements and ideas set in stone either.

They are aware that their opinions and thoughts are a moving, shaping, life evolving, learning species.

Beautiful things don’t ask for attention, they are just there.

If someone constantly demands your attention, look to the fruit.

If someone is unwilling to listen to your thoughts and ideas and grow and change, then be aware of the influence on your life.

Breathe in and let go.

Paul Scanlon an amazing communicator yesterday posted on instagram ‘I choose to unsubscribe from your issues…’

Talk tomorrow.

A

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the dark night of the soul

dark night

I think there is a popular myth that we will always know what we are doing and why we are doing it.

We often run from the darkness in our souls, rather than embrace it.

When we find ourselves making decisions about our tomorrow with no certainty, we can feel confused.

There is an assumption that clarity equals success.

I do believe there are times of great clarity in ones life, but also many many days of walking through night like experiences.

One of my favourite old time spiritualists wrote this prayer;

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Thomas Merton

Even the most successful of hero’s have had dark times of in-between.

People like Mother Teresa, are renowned for their famous writings of faith and encouragement, but many scholars attest to her many years of doubt and deep darkness.

Personally in my walk, most weeks there are days of doubt. Although it sounds like on this blog that I have very certain ideas about my life, faith, vulnerability, creativity…I spend many days in doubt fighting that certainty with a depth of courage.

If you are in a place of darkness right now and feel very uncertain about the next step. Feel assured that most people who have lived a successful life, an authentic life, a brave life, have walked through dark days.

This poem written by St John of the cross exposes his vulnerabilities in this area;

Upon a darkened night
The flame of love was burning in my breast
And by a lantern bright
I fled my house while all in quiet rest

Shrouded by the night
And by the secret stair I quickly fled
The veil concealed my eyes
While all within lay quiet as the dead.

O, night thou was my guide!

O, night more loving than the rising sun!
O, night that joined the Lover to the beloved one!
Transforming each of them into the other.

Upon that misty night
In secrecy beyond such mortal sight
Without a guide or light
Than that which burned as deeply in my heart.

That fire ’twas led me on
And shone more bright than of the midday sun
To where He waited still
It was a place where no one else could come.

The only difference between these amazing poets and inspirational people is they have found ways to keep walking through into their fields of peace.

What is it that makes the shutters come down and the dark envelop?

Discover your cross and you will be one step closer to stepping towards your peace.

See you tomorrow

Amanda

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Sleep

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Today I had a big sleep in the middle of the day. I woke up feeling really guilty, but so grateful for the rest. I am now 16 weeks pregnant and I am not sure how I even worked with my first little bun in the oven till 8months pregnant.

Why do we feel guilty when we allow ourselves to do what is essential?

Lack of sleep equals a lack of inspiration.

Our hormones are affected, our ability to think quickly and ability to innovate is affected.

Our sleep patterns directly affect our output.

So why do we feel guilty when we sleep in, or we take a nanna nap, or we just go to bed early?

It’s almost like we have to hide it from one another, because there is this unwritten rule that we are being unproductive.

I have found in my own life, creating a good routine before going to bed, being proactive in turning my phone on sleep mode, reading before I go to bed, (rather than falling asleep in front of the t.v), a hot cup of herbal tea, a hot shower, worship music; all induce a more restful sleep.

Another tip is making sure that I process the day well and let go of the things I cannot change. If I am struggling to fall asleep to find quotes, meditations or scripture to fill my mind with goodness rather than worry as I fall into slumber.

How are you sleeping?

Do you need to plan a few Nanna naps to catch up?

Do you need to plan a bracket day? a stress leave day? A personal day?

Do you need to plan a PJ day?

Sleep equals productivity.

I know our obsession with busy, means even the notion of a siesta is coupled in lazy language but if you want to live a productive life.

You need to get better at sleeping.

Talk tomorrow

Amanda

 

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Unique inspiration

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Every person is unique, therefore what inspires us individually is always different.

A whole crowd of people can be watching the same performance or experiencing the same moment and respond to it completely uniquely.

What inspires your neighbour will bore you.

What enthrals you, won’t even be noticed by a friend.

My son Max is currently obsessed with helicopters.

He wakes up in the morning and the first thing off his lips is ‘helicopter!’

So most mornings, more often than not  you will find us together watching a helicopter documentary on YouTube and my eyes glaze over.

(I don’t care what components make up a helicopter, I am bored by 15 mins of non stop helicopter flying.)

My son however is enthralled.

The thing about inspiration, is so often we apply formulas to our lives hoping that the formula will make us feel more inspired or bring change.

What worked for someone else may never work for you.

Mostly because what inspires them is completely foreign to you.

We all have a inspiration language.

Just like the popular book Love languages, I believe in inspiration languages.

Do you feel uninspired?

What is your inspiration language?

What about music, candles, flowers, quiet, reading, friends, coffee, tea, space, cafés, metropolis, new cities, aeroplanes, like me?

Or is it something else.

Write down the things that inspire you?

Write down the atmospheres that inspire you?

Write down your most inspired moments.

They become your clues.

Stuck

Frustrated

Lonely

Uninspired?

Go back to your list.

See you tomorrow